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#1
Hey guys. Again, I come to you with some rather interesting stories.


So last week my dad fell down and cracked his skull open. He's been in a coma ever since and has lost the better part of his upper brain functions. Long story short: he's a vegetable. So now, me and my brothers and my sister are debating on whether to pull the plug or not. Now this isn't a debate, I'm just wondering, have any of you guys ever had to do this? and would you?

Personally, I'm all for it. I don't think my father would have wanted that for the rest of his life, and I know for a fact I would not.


any sorta comfort or guidance is appreciated, that along w/ any suggestions.


FYI: His chances of fully recovering are below 5 percent.


Thanks UG
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#2
Sorry to hear that, mate.

Did your father have a living will?
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#3
So sorry to hear that man
I really hope he recovers.
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#4
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Sorry to hear that, mate.

Did your father have a living will?

No, and since my sister and I are the oldest we've pretty much been given the authority to make his decisions for him
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#6
Sorry to hear it man, I don't know what I'd do.

I'd probably be drunk somewhere trying to forget anything was wrong.

#8
Damn, that's awful. I'd probably go with pulling, mind, but ****, that's an awful call to have to make.
#9
Wow, that's terrible. I'm sorry.

I haven't ever had to do this but I have had a parent die (I lost my mum through Meningitis/Septicaemia) and if she had lived she'd have been in a vegetative state also. I think it's a cruel thing to do but letting them live is just as horrible to have to deal with.

I think you should give him his dignity and let him go peacefully.

Also, poll? might make it easier to see what people think.
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#10
If he's in a coma, he's just lying there, basically dead, while the hospital takes your money. There is a chance of recovering, but if it looks like he won't recover, you should just pull the plug. Even if he wakes from the coma, if he's suffered brain damage he probably won't act the same, and probably won't be the man you remember. Personally, I'd probably choose to have it pulled, I'd also want my own plug pulled if I was in that situation.

Whatever you choose, good luck getting through this.

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Also, poll? might make it easier to see what people think.


It's probably better if people post and discuss it than just clicking Yes or No, especially with a big decision such as this one.
Last edited by __Pent__ at Aug 10, 2010,
#11
Really sorry to hear that
If I were in the situation of your father, I would want my plug pulled .
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#12
my grandma had a stroke about eleven years ago, and was in a vegetative state. my dad and his sister took her off life support in a matter of hours. the cruel thing was that they didn't even tell me until after the fact, and I never had the opportunity to go see her or say goodbye.

I say go with what you believe his wishes would be, and give people time to visit with him beforehand. I'm sorry you all are in such a shit situation.
#13
Quote by diofan88
No, and since my sister and I are the oldest we've pretty much been given the authority to make his decisions for him


oh wow, you're the oldest? you're pretty young, man.

i'm sorry you have to deal with this situation. choices are hard to make because we always deal with the "what if" factor.

all i can say is if this were to, god forbid, happen to my father and the decision was left to me. i would take the doctor's expertise into account, mostly their projection for how likely recovery is. i would give it some time, but at some point i would realize that everything that made my father unique and wonderful and loving and an outstanding role model was already gone. if my dad were a vegetable, it'd be hard to know i pulled the plug. but at the same time, at some point keeping people on extraordinary means of life support is selfish. we keep them alive hanging by a thread because we're afraid of losing them. but at that point in their brain activity, they're already lost. and sure there is a chance for recovery. since there is no go back on this decision, i say give it a little time.

and good luck to you. i know this must be very hard on your family. if there's anything you think i could personally do, PM me and at the very least i can give you my phone number in case you ever need someone to listen to you.

#DTWD
Last edited by primusfan at Aug 10, 2010,
#14
Quote by mcjosh
Really sorry to hear that
If I were in the situation of your father, I would want my plug pulled .



ya, it would seem that has been the general consensus with me and my sister.


It's just very difficult
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#15
Sorry to hear that, but keeping him alive seems to be usless not to mention a little cruel. Its gonna be a tough decision so whatever you think is best
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#17
Quote by __Pent__
If he's in a coma, he's just lying there, basically dead, while the hospital takes your money. There is a chance of recovering, but if it looks like he won't recover, you should just pull the plug. Even if he wakes from the coma, if he's suffered brain damage he probably won't act the same, and probably won't be the man you remember. Personally, I'd probably choose to have it pulled, I'd also want my own plug pulled if I was in that situation.

Whatever you choose, good luck getting through this.


It's probably better if people post and discuss it than just clicking Yes or No, especially with a big decision such as this one.

Reading that just made me even more sad.

I'm so sorry to hear this man. I hope he recovers from this.
And I hope you don't regret the decision you do make, whatever it may be.

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#18
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ya, it would seem that has been the general consensus with me and my sister.


It's just very difficult

Of course it's a difficult decision, it's going to require a lot of thinking. Just do whatever you feel is right .
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#19
God damn dude

The Hugging Thread is here for you if you need anything.

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#21
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oh wow, you're the oldest? you're pretty young, man.

i'm sorry you have to deal with this situation. choices are hard to make because we always deal with the "what if" factor.

all i can say is if this were to, god forbid, happen to my father and the decision was left to me. i would take the doctor's expertise into account, mostly their projection for how likely recovery is. i would give it some time, but at some point i would realize that everything that made my father unique and wonderful and loving and an outstanding role model was already gone. if my dad were a vegetable, it'd be hard to know i pulled the plug. but at the same time, at some point keeping people on extraordinary means of life support is selfish. we keep them alive hanging by a thread because we're afraid of losing them. but at that point in their brain activity, they're already lost. and sure there is a chance for recovery. since there is no go back on this decision, i say give it a little time.

and good luck to you. i know this must be very hard on your family. if there's anything you think i could personally do, PM me and at the very least i can give you my phone number in case you ever need someone to listen to you.



ya amigo, you're pretty much spot on.

My dad was a musician as well, he has his masters in Piano. They pretty much said all his upper brain functions (Ie: speech, coordination, etc are all gone) meaning...well he'll never play music again. And to be honest, that was the biggest piece of him


But as the doctors said, it's not looking all too well, if we pull the plug and his body shocks itself back in to recovery mode (please, excuse the shit explanation of medical terms) they said he most likely is unable to breathe on his own, ergo, dying within a matter of hours
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#22
Thats terrible man, you have my greatest sympathy

I had a similiar expirience recently, my grandma was diagnosed with aggressive bone and lung cancer about 6 months ago, and she went downhill very quickly, in hospital.

About a week before her passing, my grandad made the decision to bring her home again, as she could barely speak without a huge effort, and life was hell for her in the hospital.

We knew that if she stayed in hospital, she would have a chance to live for up to 3 months more, maximum, but at the end of the day, I really don't think she would have wanted to go through another few months of pain.

She was brought home, with the minimum equipment to make her last few days comfortable (oxygen supply, a comfy bed etc), and she died with her family around her, in peace.

I don't know if thats even relevant to your story, but I think its the best thing to do in the circumstances. I totally agree with you, noone would want to live like that. My grandma said herself that she didn't want to be a burden on anyone, and make people go out of their way to drag her life out that extra bit.

If theres a chance of recovery, maybe discuss with the doctors how long it would take, and make the decision based on if he shows signs of improvement after that time, but if you're certain he wouldn't want to live in his current state, I think you'll be a better judge of what to do than me.

Hope I've helped you man, best wishes to you all.
#23
My sincere condolences man.
Stood by my wife as she made this decision regarding her mother. I feel for you.
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#24
I'm sorry to hear about this, dude.

I went through a similar experience when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 8. They had her on chemotherapy for 2 years, then one night in the hospital she just flatlined. Turned out she had a brain tumor the size of a tennis ball that separated her brain from her spinal column in the night. Doctors resuscitated (sp?) her, but she had basically turned into a vegetable as well. Dad made the decision to pull the plug (because I was 10, I had no authority) and I had to stand by and watch all of it. It hurt like hell to watch her go, considering she was the woman who gave me my musical ability, but doctors said there was literally no chance of her ever coming back from a vegetative state. 0%.

If I were you, I'd wait just a BIT longer. 5% isn't much, but it's a helluva lot better than 0%. If he comes back, he may be changed, but he's still the man who brought you into this world.
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#26
I'm really sorry to hear this, man. I can't imagine going through this, but ever since my dad was diagnosed with Cancer in March he's talked about what we should do if things go south really quickly, and he wouldn't want to be kept alive. Whether or no I would be able to actually make that decision is a whole other story, but that's what he would want me to do. Just go with what feels right and if you do decide to pull the plug make sure you allow people to say bye to him.

If you ever need some comfort and people to talk to, the Hughing Thread is always open. We'll help you through this

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#27
My grandmother was in a vegetative state for 12 f*cking weeks. The decision was made by my father and his siblings. They all wanted to except one of my aunts who said "she needed a sign from god", or else it'll be murder.

My dad had enough of this bullcrap and took the decision with the doctor. It was a huge relief. It is not an easy decision, but it has to be made. Ask yourself how would your dad react. I don't think that being alive artificially is the best way to live.

Pull the plug, and remember the good memories, what made your dad such a great loving, caring man.

Cherish that instead of him living with the help of machines.
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#28
I'm so sorry mate. Hugging thread is always open to you mate.

Personally... I think I would wait a while. Like a month... If anything recovers at all I'd hold on to hope for a while longer, but if nothing... Then I would pull the plug. I consider it a mercy.

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. It's unfair of life to do this
#29
My grandmother was in a vegetative state for 12 f*cking weeks. The decision was made by my father and his siblings. They all wanted to except one of my aunts who said "she needed a sign from god", or else it'll be murder.

My dad had enough of this bullcrap and took the decision with the doctor. It was a huge relief. It is not an easy decision, but it has to be made. Ask yourself how would your dad react. I don't think that being alive artificially is the best way to live.

Pull the plug, and remember the good memories, what made your dad such a great loving, caring man.

Cherish that instead of him living with the help of machines.
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#30
Quote by __Pent__
If he's in a coma, he's just lying there, basically dead, while the hospital takes your money. There is a chance of recovering, but if it looks like he won't recover, you should just pull the plug. Even if he wakes from the coma, if he's suffered brain damage he probably won't act the same, and probably won't be the man you remember. Personally, I'd probably choose to have it pulled, I'd also want my own plug pulled if I was in that situation.


That sounds rather selfish of the living. I would think that a person would want as much life as they can get. Regardless of the chances of becoming normal again.
#32
Im sorry bro.

I think you should pull the plug only because who would want to live like a vegetable for the rest of their life? Hope it helped.
#34
My condolences. I can understand that it must be a tough time.

My mum and my gran had a conversation about this. If she is ever to become a vegetable, she's want her children to sign a contract to pull her off life support.

She's always said this, really, and I can understand why. She's a pretty proud woman and wouldn't want to keep on living like that.
#35
Wow man, that's awful.
Personally, I'd want to leave it for a while and wait for a recovery, and if there are no signs then I'd pull the plug.
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#36
Quote by Jon777
I'm really sorry, man. I see nothing wrong with pulling the plug; he shouldn't have to live like that.

I don't mean to derail the thread, I hope this is just answered in one post, but I thought coma patients were actually unaware of their condition? Like, to say "live like that" makes it seem like he's trapped in his body or something, and I've never thought it was anything like that.

Again, sorry to stretch the topic on such a serious thread.
#37
I'd play his favorite piano song as I pulled the plug.
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#38
prayers are with ya man.
your in a position everybody dreads thinking about.
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#39
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I don't mean to derail the thread, I hope this is just answered in one post, but I thought coma patients were actually unaware of their condition? Like, to say "live like that" makes it seem like he's trapped in his body or something, and I've never thought it was anything like that.

Again, sorry to stretch the topic on such a serious thread.

I don't think anyone's been able to prove anything either way. I don't think coma patients remember being comatose, but that doesn't mean they don't experience it It's an interesting idea that escape games have used to death.

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#40
Haven't been through it myself, no. But I understand how it feels waiting for someone you love, but not in that sense, if you know what I'm saying. Like, in the..Waiting for them to pass away sense.


Well, it's your call. I would do it, because no living being deserves a life such as that.
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