#1
-Radium Dials-

Weeping, no sound heard.
Lonely, in a vast nothingness.
Passionately, cradling me for the time.
Rippling through the stars.

The shimmering of the skyline;
burning holes right through me.
Caught somewhere; not space,
nor time.

Inhuman cries basking,
in a sea of tranquility.
Air running thin;
thoughts arise.

Nor time.

Must I drift amongst the dust?
Of space and time.
Just a spec, a random occurrence;
A freak incident.

Sorrow subdues me,
as I sink in the endless sea.
Asphyxiate on such grandeur...
The stars that once shimmered.

The stars that once...Shimmered.

Now slowly fade to gray...
Like the dials of a passing day.

c4c. Constructive only please, I haven't sat down and actually wrote anything for awhile so mah gramuhz is probably shitty.
Squier Strat
Behringer Fuzz
GFT-90
Last edited by Guitarbaddie at Aug 24, 2010,
#2
It's pretty nice. I liek it for sure since it's quite poetic (: Nice job on that. Tho..are these lyrics? or does it stand as a poem alone? Either way. nice job. Tho i think you should change "Dancing with the stars"..i don't realy like it. sounds a bit cliche. and..yea. idk what else to say, it's a nice poem...or..nice lyrics (: either way. So if they are lyrics, what music were you maybe thinking of putting to it?

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1348545
#3
Quote by Maddita
It's pretty nice. I liek it for sure since it's quite poetic (: Nice job on that. Tho..are these lyrics? or does it stand as a poem alone? Either way. nice job. Tho i think you should change "Dancing with the stars"..i don't realy like it. sounds a bit cliche. and..yea. idk what else to say, it's a nice poem...or..nice lyrics (: either way. So if they are lyrics, what music were you maybe thinking of putting to it?

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1348545


Yeah, that has been the only line that has irked me throughout this entire song :P I figured somebody would pick that out.

Yeah they are lyrics. Uhm, the music behind it is mostly clean with a ton of reverb. I might record it an upload it to my profile.
Squier Strat
Behringer Fuzz
GFT-90