#1
I usually write all sorts of heavy riffs and then find myself not being able to write any good lyrics to those riffs, so this time I turned things around: first I wanted lyrics, then I'll write the riffs. I've written all sorts of lyrics but I ended up liking this one. It's pretty negative untill the end, cos I do want some positivism in my music. What do you guys think?

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face down on the ground
my thoughts are dozing in
I can feel this shadow grow
please make my mind stop

voices whisper to my mind
the deeper you go
the slower you fall
and i am crashing downwards

and now i see that all of this has
pulled me under
i created my own life and now i am
torn asunder
but i wont let myself peel away
Ill pray
Ill pray
Ill pray

for every breath ive taken
you pulled me deeper inside
i know i must break free
can you feel the rise of tide?

and now i see that all of this has
pulled me under
i created my own life and now i am
torn asunder
but i wont let myself rot away
Ill stay
Ill stay
Ill stay

- Intense Guitar Solo-
- Slow breakdown thing-

im crawling out of the water
digging my fingers into the world
i promise ill stay awake

taken the oath to protect
everything that defines me
ill make sure to stay
ill stay
ill stay
ill stay
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Yeah
#2
Well I especially like the positive ending, though I didn't care for the:

im crawling out of the water
digging my fingers into the world
i promise ill stay awake

...You could probably just omit it and play it instrumental. Other than that it sounds good to me Keep on Writing
Comments or Suggestions
Omit or Change
Suggested Changes


I am the 24 Wild Rovers
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#3
Thanks, might indeed be a good idea to add someting instrumental instead of that part
Yeah
#4
totally cool! its really good! "i wont let myself rot away" my fav. line
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I write poetry
And it sucks.