#1
his vicious smirk
only for her
arrives around nine but leaves before ten
inside the grin you're sure to find him
drinking alone and thinking of then

only he knows how this ends

late in from work
she shines the light
defensive again, to the end of the night
outside the lies that lie on his lips
lies a kiss on the collar just under his chin

only he knows how this ends
only he knows how this will end

aside from the events of this afternoon
no reasonable motive for her to swoon
into his arms, a lover once lost
but she's no reason to smile
no reason to gosh

his vicious smirk
only for her
arrives around nine but leaves before ten
and outside the lies that lie on his lips
lies a kiss on the collar just under his chin

only he knows how this ends
only he knows how this...
Last edited by Jammydude44 at Aug 12, 2010,
#2
"no reason to gosh" is an unfamiliar phrase where i'm from. that put me off a bit. but the rest of this rocks. the rhythm looks a little odd on the page but works well aloud. overall, i'm diggin it. typo at the beginning of the fourth section, noob.


Meadows
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#3
It seems like you went a bit out of your way for the tight rhyme scheme, like the example given above.
Idk, this just didn't strike me as special