#1
So I haven't seen my mom or sister in 3 years.
My mom called me last night and said she's going to have surgery and she wanted to call in case something went wrong. I didn't notice at the time but I acted extremely casual. Then I noticed I haven't missed my mom or sister once and thought about them only when someone else brought them up.

Am I a bad person for not missing her.
I know she has wronged me but shouldn't I still care?
#3
Basically, no.
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#4
Do you feel bad about not caring or missing her?
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#6
Quote by Bearded_Seth
It's a little strange you've been out of contact for so long.. Why is this?


I was so sick of living there I got up and left.
I took some clothes and left. I live with my dad now though.


I feel selfish because I should love my mom no matter what.
But should I have to sacrifice my happiness and comfort for her sake?
#8
I would go back for a bit. Can you imagine that after 3 years, when she's frightened of death that one of the first things she did was think of you? You shouldn't feel bad I suppose, but you should go to her. Surprise her or something.
#9
Quote by Bearded_Seth
I think you should go back. For now at least, your mum clearly wants to see you.
I agree. At least for a few days, while she's having surgery and a few days afterward while she recovers a tiny bit. I mean, your mom loves you and, it's clear you love her (cuz you feel bad about not being in contact for so long). So, go be with your mom for a few days, TS.
#11
Good advice.
I guess I'll go see her.
I wouldn't call it hate, but there's a very unpleasing feeling I get about my mother. She want's me to apologize to her for the troubles I caused. But she won't ever apologize to me. As far as she is concerned she's never done anything wrong.

Every time I see her she starts crying and she says she crys at night and thinks of me. But she won't even say sorry for making me feel so terrible
and I only feel worse when she starts crying.


damn women so complicated.
#12
Quote by levi.lydat
I was so sick of living there I got up and left.
I took some clothes and left. I live with my dad now though.


I feel selfish because I should love my mom no matter what.
But should I have to sacrifice my happiness and comfort for her sake?
Way too much drama, dude. Just feel about her how you feel about her. There is no "should" in that part of the equation.

Yeah, she's your mom. That does automatically earn her some respect.
Beyond that, it's really up to you.

I'm sure there are opportunities for you to make minor "sacrifices" to maintain at least a minimal contact without it severely affecting your happiness.


EDIT:
Quote by levi.lydat
But she won't even say sorry for making me feel so terrible
let it go, dude.

here, have a llama for your drama.
Meadows
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Last edited by SomeoneYouKnew at Aug 13, 2010,
#14
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew



EDIT:
let it go, dude.

here, have a llama for your drama.


very asshole of you.
good point.
but easier said then done
#15
Quote by levi.lydat
Good advice.
I guess I'll go see her.
I wouldn't call it hate, but there's a very unpleasing feeling I get about my mother. She want's me to apologize to her for the troubles I caused. But she won't ever apologize to me. As far as she is concerned she's never done anything wrong.

Every time I see her she starts crying and she says she crys at night and thinks of me. But she won't even say sorry for making me feel so terrible
and I only feel worse when she starts crying.


damn women so complicated.


careful, you're making dangerous assumptions there.
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#16
All my life my mother has treated me very very poorly ( a.k.a. abusive)

I moved out away from her when I was about 16, I have only visited her during certain times of the year including her birthday, christmas ect ect.

She moved across the country and there are times when I dont miss her, sometimes I am angry at her, and other times I wonder how I would react if I got a phone call from another famly member stating if she passed away.

The only advice I have to give you, is that you feel the way you feel, there is no way to change it. People will guilt you into feeling a specific way, or that you "need" to feel a specific way because your family. You will do what you need to do when you are ready, the only thing is that if you are never ready to forgive her in her lifetime, then be prepared at least to forgive her in your lifetime.

~Jasmine
*~The silence is deafening as the city blinks through the cimmerian twilight
#17
Quote by levi.lydat
very asshole of you.
good point.
but easier said then done
Don't shoot the messenger. Especially when you agree with the message. "Easier said than done" is a cop-out. You're a man, at least you should be trying to become one. Life isn't always easy. And you make it harder when you put expectations on people close to you to live up to your expectations. They are who they are. If they cause you emotional distress, call them on it at the time, then put the event in the rearview mirror. If they're being shitty to you today, tell them and just walk away until tomorrow. When tomorrow comes, take it as it goes. If you walk away enough times, they'll eventually get the message. Save it up for one big drama scene and it's just a power play. Even if you win at one of those, you only win a little. And everyone, yourself included, loses overall.


Unless you're twelve or smth. Then forget about all that man stuff.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.