#1
Don't worry, I always C4C

So when you crash and you burn,
And come on crawlin back to me,
Just know this one thing is that,
There ain’t, no more “we”.

It’s Just ME.
And the people standin by,
I know that you can’t help but cry,
Cause we were all just waiting to see you die.

Yeah, you’re done,
You’re finished,
You’re tattered and scarred,
Everyone’s been sayin man,
Its so hard,
To get by while you’re gone.
But I’m thinkin they thought wrong.

It’s just ME.
I thought of and cared for you,
And with all the times that we’ve been thru,
You’d think that I’d wish a little more.

It’s Just ME.
I’ve always been missin’ you,
But I gave it up when you said ‘we’re through’
But I still, can’t let you go.
Yeah, I need to let you know,
That,

It’s Just ME.
I always had loved you,
Babe, don’t ever think that’s not true,
I know that you knew when I first kissed you,
That I always will love you,
(Guitar Interlude)

It’s Just ME.
So when you crash and burn,
Just know that this court is adjourned,
And our love will always be mourned.

It’s Just ME.
It’s not you,
And with all that I ever do,
It was all to impress you,
But I guess we can’t come through.
Yeah babe, it was all done for you.

the first verse may not be included. whadda think??
Last edited by Caboose911 at Aug 16, 2010,
#2
Yeah, you’re done,
You’re finished,
You’re tattered and scarred,
That's what everyone’s been sayin man, It's always good to clearify what who said. And this "man" is a little out of place
Its so hard,
To get by while you’re gone.
But I’m thinkin they thought wrong. This whole thing doesn't sound all that great

It’s just ME.
I thought of and cared for you,
And with all the times hell that we’ve been thru, Definately not "times."
You’d think that I’d wish care a little more.

It’s Just ME.
I’ve always been missin’ you,
But I gave it up when you said ‘we’re through’
But I still, can’t let you go.
Yeah, I need to let you know,
That, Omit and just play an instrumental line here. Sometimes you can say just as much by what you don't say then by what you do

I actuall thought the first verse was the best, so keep it. Actually at first I thought it was a "I am over you," type song at first then it changed (but that's alright because it still sounds good) Keep on Writing
Comments or Suggestions
Omit or Change
Suggested Changes


I am the 24 Wild Rovers
If You Wish to Give C4C Click on the Smlileys
:
#3
Quote by 24WildRovers
Yeah, you’re done,
You’re finished,
You’re tattered and scarred,
That's what everyone’s been sayin man, It's always good to clearify what who said. And this "man" is a little out of place
Its so hard,
To get by while you’re gone.
But I’m thinkin they thought wrong. This whole thing doesn't sound all that great

It’s just ME.
I thought of and cared for you,
And with all the times hell that we’ve been thru, Definately not "times."
You’d think that I’d wish care a little more.

It’s Just ME.
I’ve always been missin’ you,
But I gave it up when you said ‘we’re through’
But I still, can’t let you go.
Yeah, I need to let you know,
That, Omit and just play an instrumental line here. Sometimes you can say just as much by what you don't say then by what you do

I actuall thought the first verse was the best, so keep it. Actually at first I thought it was a "I am over you," type song at first then it changed (but that's alright because it still sounds good) Keep on Writing


thanks man its much appreciated, its more of a song about thinking you are over someone but then, realizing you're not, but it still can't work between you.
either way, thanks for the crit
#4
Quote by Caboose911
thanks man its much appreciated, its more of a song about thinking you are over someone but then, realizing you're not, but it still can't work between you.
either way, thanks for the crit

Well actually that sounds like a really good approach as well. Sorry if my critiques seem a little, not so thought out. I really say/type things as I go just for time's sake. So keep in mind that you could really ignore most of what I say if it doesn't make sense to you or if you have a better idea in mind.
Comments or Suggestions
Omit or Change
Suggested Changes


I am the 24 Wild Rovers
If You Wish to Give C4C Click on the Smlileys
:
#5
Quote by 24WildRovers
Well actually that sounds like a really good approach as well. Sorry if my critiques seem a little, not so thought out. I really say/type things as I go just for time's sake. So keep in mind that you could really ignore most of what I say if it doesn't make sense to you or if you have a better idea in mind.


thats fine :P but for some reason whenever i see that you reviewed one of my pieces i get a little excited... i think that's the reason, is because you say the first thing that comes to your head.
you are one of the few people left in this forum who gives a full crit of the piece
love it.
#6
Quote by Caboose911
thats fine :P but for some reason whenever i see that you reviewed one of my pieces i get a little excited... i think that's the reason, is because you say the first thing that comes to your head.
you are one of the few people left in this forum who gives a full crit of the piece
love it.

Thanks man You don't know how good it is for me to hear that
Comments or Suggestions
Omit or Change
Suggested Changes


I am the 24 Wild Rovers
If You Wish to Give C4C Click on the Smlileys
:
#8
I really liked d openin DO NOT scrap it D idea is nice thats how every1 feels when in love for real...I loved how u expressed yr anger but made light of yr tenderness for her too 1 or 2 lines here n there kinda lost flow but u really got d feelings through keep it up!
#9
I second that the opening was pretty good aside from the come "on" crawling. "on" just seems to throw it off a small bit. Definately has a good ole boys ring to everything. I need to hear some more good rockabilly and throw some good music on and this could be it, haha. Some parts seem a little bit rushed, but that could be how I was reading it.

It’s just ME.
I thought of and cared for you,
And with all the times that we’ve been thru,
You’d think that I’d wish a little more


Probably could do without this. I feel it doesn't really contribute much to the rest. Seems like a filler. It doesn't hurt it if it stays, but I think something else could do a bit better. Keep up the good work man!
#11
Quote by stubbs
I thought it jumped around a bit, it kind of confused me. Its a good idea for a song, just not executed to greatly. Keep working on it and move stuff around try different rotations for verses and what not.

I would have to give it a 4/10

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1351974


thanks for the crit man, im still throwin' idea's around in my head, hopefully I'll get it right sometime soon I hope you like the newest version im putting out soon
#12
Quote by Caboose911
Don't worry, I always C4C

So when you crash and you burn,
And come on crawlin back to me,
Just know this one thing is that,
There ain’t, no more “we”.
Good verse, but I think the last line is too short

It’s Just ME.
And the people standin by,
I know that you can’t help but cry,
Cause we were all just waiting to see you die.
Again, good, but the last line sees too long this time

Yeah, you’re done,
You’re finished,
You’re tattered and scarred,
Everyone’s been sayin man,
Its so hard, "That it's just so hard" I think would flow better
To get by while you’re gone.
But I’m thinkin they thought wrong.

It’s just ME.
I thought of and cared for you,
And with all the times try a more provocative word here instead of "times" that we’ve been thru,
You’d think that I’d wish wish for what? a little more.

It’s Just ME.
I’ve always been missin’ you,
But I gave it up when you said ‘we’re through’
But I still, can’t let you go.
Yeah, I need to let you know,
That,

It’s Just ME.
I always had loved you,
Babe, don’t ever think that’s not true,
I know that you knew when I first kissed you,
That I always will love you,
(Guitar Interlude)

It’s Just ME.
So when you crash and burn,
Just know that this court is adjourned,
And our love will always be mourned.
adjourned and mourned don't really rhyme, but you could create a false rhyme out of them, so I'll let it pass

It’s Just ME.
It’s not you,
And with all that I ever do,
It was all to impress you,
But I guess we can’t come through.
Yeah babe, it was all done for you.

the first verse may not be included. whadda think??

Yet another excellent piece to add to your collection Caboose!
#13
I'd keep the opening, it's quite punchy mate and one of the strongest parts in my humble opinion. My personnal preference would be to omit "babe" and "man" from it, but without hearing it in the context of the whole song it's hard to judge.

"It’s Just ME.
It’s not you,
And with all that I ever do,
It was all to impress you,
But I guess we can’t come through.
Yeah babe, it was all done for you."

The first four lines of this are very raw, I like them a lot. I think you can come up with some alternative to "But i guess we can't come through" though.. leave it with me, I'll try and thiunk of a suggestion

Overall really good, I enjoyed reading it.

LL
#14
Quote by LandingLight
I'd keep the opening, it's quite punchy mate and one of the strongest parts in my humble opinion. My personnal preference would be to omit "babe" and "man" from it, but without hearing it in the context of the whole song it's hard to judge.

"It’s Just ME.
It’s not you,
And with all that I ever do,
It was all to impress you,
But I guess we can’t come through.
Yeah babe, it was all done for you."

The first four lines of this are very raw, I like them a lot. I think you can come up with some alternative to "But i guess we can't come through" though.. leave it with me, I'll try and thiunk of a suggestion

Overall really good, I enjoyed reading it.

LL


Thanks for the crit man its much appreciated. obviously this piece bodes well with some people and others, not so much :P
but aside from that.
thanks a lot for the crit! you got a piece in mind you would like me to crit?