#1
I'm working with someone on a video game project, and wanted to know UG's opinion on what I've made so far. This is supposed to be a fast-paced Death Metal Instrumental.
Attachments:
Level 1.gp5
#2
You can do better. Especially in the slower section. Just sounds out of place and plain bad. The part after the intro wasn't too good, either. Sounded like my guitar pro was skipping.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
#3
Quote by DragTheWaters11
You can do better. Especially in the slower section. Just sounds out of place and plain bad. The part after the intro wasn't too good, either. Sounded like my guitar pro was skipping.


I don't know if this is some coincidence, but it's supposed to sound exactly as you just described it. The skipping and the "bad"-ness.

EDIT: That slower section is supposed to be a meshuggah-like ramble reminiscent of Catch 33. Forgot to mention.
Last edited by WizMystery at Aug 16, 2010,
#4
Quote by WizMystery
I don't know if this is some coincidence, but it's supposed to sound exactly as you just described it. The skipping and the "bad"-ness.

EDIT: That slower section is supposed to be a meshuggah-like ramble reminiscent of Catch 33. Forgot to mention.

So what you're saying is a bad song is perfectly what you were aiming for?

Sorry, the song is just bad. For a video game especially.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
#5
Quote by DragTheWaters11
So what you're saying is a bad song is perfectly what you were aiming for?

Sorry, the song is just bad. For a video game especially.


Quote by DragTheWaters11
So what you're saying is a bad song is perfectly what you were aiming for?


Quote by DragTheWaters11
a bad song


Quote by DragTheWaters11
bad


Sorry, but once you use this word you've lost all credibility. I'm trying to bring something different to a soundtrack, not produce the same ol' same ol.
#6
Quote by WizMystery
Sorry, but once you use this word you've lost all credibility. I'm trying to bring something different to a soundtrack, not produce the same ol' same ol.

Yes. Saying something is bad is definitely a way to lose credibility.

Listen, the song isn't good enough. Start over or fix it up. Honestly, if I heard this in a video game, it just wouldn't be a song I'd like to hear. Especially on Level 1.

You can do better, you should probably start over.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
#7
Intro + Bars 15 - 22. The rest, you should scrap. I KNOW it's a video game song, but if it's NOT good then it doesn't give an excuse for it to be used.

Make something BETTER.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
#8
Quote by DragTheWaters11
Yes. Saying something is bad is definitely a way to lose credibility.

Listen, the song isn't good enough. Start over or fix it up. Honestly, if I heard this in a video game, it just wouldn't be a song I'd like to hear. Especially on Level 1.

You can do better, you should probably start over.


It is. I don't know how long you've had an interest in music, but you should know by now that everyone has their own taste. Saying it's bad just simply because you don't like it isn't showing that you know how to critique. You're basically coming in here thinking everyone should just conform to what you think is good or bad by telling me to change the song completely. That's not going to happen.

Quote by DragTheWaters11
Intro + Bars 15 - 22. The rest, you should scrap. I KNOW it's a video game song, but if it's NOT good then it doesn't give an excuse for it to be used.

Make something BETTER.


I'm not trolling you here when I say bar 23 is my favorite part.

...and haven't you ever heard of a comedic piece before? Not that this is one, but people do make bad songs on purpose.
#9
Quote by WizMystery
It is. I don't know how long you've had an interest in music, but you should know by now that everyone has their own taste. Saying it's bad just simply because you don't like it isn't showing that you know how to critique. You're basically coming in here thinking everyone should just conform to what you think is good or bad by telling me to change the song completely. That's not going to happen.


I'm not trolling you here when I say bar 23 is my favorite part.

...and haven't you ever heard of a comedic piece before? Not that this is one, but people do make bad songs on purpose.

But this ISN'T a comedic piece. Listen, while you say you're making a bad song on purpose, it makes no sense. I would understand if you were making something for someone and you don't like that person. But you are helping a friend out with a video game. And I'd imagine this person doesn't use Guitar Pro 5.

So either way, the guy is going to like it. But in all honesty, you can do much better than this. Don't defend the song by saying it's intentionally bad. If everyone in here came in here and said they loved it, you wouldn't be saying.. "...but it's intentionally bad."

Here's a full critique since that's what you're shamelessly looking for I guess.

The intro starts of very good. The style and imagery you put into it thusfar is quite good. The sudden start and tops of the riffs sound really good.

The transition from bar 14 to bar 15 is done quite well. The theme of sudden "quick-starts" and stops followed by a quick trill kick on the drums is starting to run out on effectiveness. It still sounds alright, but a change of pace could very well benefit.

Bar 23. You had the RIGHT idea here, but the riff isn't that good. The idea of the "out of time" riff fits perfectly, but the notes aren't the best choice. If you look in the staff, you will see a # sign next to half the notes. That simply means, your notes are out of key, and they don't sound right. Not only that, but if you're going to do an incorrect timing, the notes could fit a little bit better.

Then the outro fits well afterwards, but it could be better.

Overall 6/10


Now do you see what I am getting at? I'm not saying it's bad because of personal preference, I'm saying it's just not good enough and you could do better. It IS for a video game, and that alone should at least give you somewhat of a boost in your writing. The middle part is very out of key at times, and the note choice simply isn't the best.

PS: Don't come back by saying "It's meant to be that way." I'm trying to help you out, but you simply can't seem to comprehend that this piece could be better. It's for a video game for christ's sake.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
#10
I think it's pretty decent overall, the drums are really badly done and the transition to the Catch 33-ish section could be smoother but the riffs are ok. I will say however, that if you are going to submit a work to a public forum for critique than you have to take the criticism for what it's worth and not argue with other people about their thoughts on the piece even if they don't like it, it's their opinion after all.
#11
Quote by DragTheWaters11
But this ISN'T a comedic piece. Listen, while you say you're making a bad song on purpose, it makes no sense. I would understand if you were making something for someone and you don't like that person. But you are helping a friend out with a video game. And I'd imagine this person doesn't use Guitar Pro 5.

So either way, the guy is going to like it. But in all honesty, you can do much better than this. Don't defend the song by saying it's intentionally bad. If everyone in here came in here and said they loved it, you wouldn't be saying.. "...but it's intentionally bad."

Here's a full critique since that's what you're shamelessly looking for I guess.


Now do you see what I am getting at? I'm not saying it's bad because of personal preference, I'm saying it's just not good enough and you could do better. It IS for a video game, and that alone should at least give you somewhat of a boost in your writing. The middle part is very out of key at times, and the note choice simply isn't the best.

PS: Don't come back by saying "It's meant to be that way." I'm trying to help you out, but you simply can't seem to comprehend that this piece could be better. It's for a video game for christ's sake.


That's a little more along the lines of what I was looking for. I just got a little bit offended at the use of the word "bad" since I generally believe there is no "good" or "bad" music. I was taking your definition of bad the wrong way.

Anyway I know keys and all that, I'm intentially breaking musical laws for the fun of it here, since that's what I'm a fan of. That Rambling riff uses a chromatic scale. I do understand it could be better... but I'm starting to get too attached to it to change it.

Quote by Nergal22691
I think it's pretty decent overall, the drums are really badly done and the transition to the Catch 33-ish section could be smoother but the riffs are ok. I will say however, that if you are going to submit a work to a public forum for critique than you have to take the criticism for what it's worth and not argue with other people about their thoughts on the piece even if they don't like it, it's their opinion after all.


Drums aren't my strongpoint so for the moment I'm just trying to make it grindy.

To that last comment, once again I took what he said the wrong way, and I got a little out of hand.
#12
Quote by WizMystery
That's a little more along the lines of what I was looking for. I just got a little bit offended at the use of the word "bad" since I generally believe there is no "good" or "bad" music. I was taking your definition of bad the wrong way.

Anyway I know keys and all that, I'm intentially breaking musical laws for the fun of it here, since that's what I'm a fan of. That Rambling riff uses a chromatic scale. I do understand it could be better... but I'm starting to get too attached to it to change it.
.

Intentionally breaking music laws can often have a profound effect, but you were off somewhere with it and it just doesn't sound right. Might be the drums, might not be. I don't know. Maybe you can try writing other similar riffs in another guitar pro file and you might find something that you like better, or fits a little better. Because you could write something a bit stronger in that part.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
#13
Quote by DragTheWaters11
Intentionally breaking music laws can often have a profound effect, but you were off somewhere with it and it just doesn't sound right. Might be the drums, might not be. I don't know. Maybe you can try writing other similar riffs in another guitar pro file and you might find something that you like better, or fits a little better. Because you could write something a bit stronger in that part.


Well... that's kind of what I do and I'm new to that sort of riff. Wouldn't hurt to produce several...
#14
Don't change the riff starting at 23, change the drums. That's what's ruining the riff, the cymbals sound too out of place. When the other guitars came in (bar 28) it actually sound pretty awesome. The rest of the song is just painfully simple, but I guess if it's videogame music it works. I suggest you get inspiration from the Doom and Doom 2 soundtracks.
#15
The riffage ain't half bad, but it's obvious the drums are not done by a drummer. You're addicted to powerchords, and because of that the song ends up sounding more like mid-pace goregrind than "fast death metal". The lack of bass is easy enough to fix, so won't be pointed out. The stumbling, meshuggah-like shiznit is quite okay, though the drums... yeah, you know. Needs some work, and do some research if you want to know what "fast death metal" actually means :P
#16
Quote by bloodshed344
Don't change the riff starting at 23, change the drums. That's what's ruining the riff, the cymbals sound too out of place. When the other guitars came in (bar 28) it actually sound pretty awesome. The rest of the song is just painfully simple, but I guess if it's videogame music it works. I suggest you get inspiration from the Doom and Doom 2 soundtracks.


Lol the guy said it sounded like Doom a little.

Quote by Rumpy
The riffage ain't half bad, but it's obvious the drums are not done by a drummer. You're addicted to powerchords, and because of that the song ends up sounding more like mid-pace goregrind than "fast death metal". The lack of bass is easy enough to fix, so won't be pointed out. The stumbling, meshuggah-like shiznit is quite okay, though the drums... yeah, you know. Needs some work, and do some research if you want to know what "fast death metal" actually means :P


The power chords were mainly put there because in GP5 single notes don't sound... loud enough. I'm playing it mostly single-string (the end is an exception, though). I put bass in after releasing this, forgot to update (I'll attach the current version in this post). Anyway, the guy I'm working for apparently doesn't know what Death Metal is (he showed me a Pantera song and said "do that" after I made this, thinking the midi I sent him sounded too "retro" (I'm not kidding)) so I'm making this and something else for the game. "Fast Death Metal" to him apparently means normal metal.

Drums. I'll have to look at some of my downloaded Death Metal tabs to see how they really work... The same thing happened with my other uploads, I just can't get drums right.

Here's the current version with the bass, not much has changed:
Attachments:
Level 1.gp5
Last edited by WizMystery at Aug 21, 2010,