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#1
I've met a woman. She's prefect in every way, unbelievably gorgeous, smart, and knows her Halloween films.

The only problem is she wants to eat me. Literally.

If it comes down to it, half my fretting hand is paralyzed, and I wouldn't mind losing it.
#2


Your name is UriniYUM so you must be tasty....
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#3
Either part of the hand or part of your liver.
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

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#4
I bet I'm not, I eat a navvy's diet. The moral question is, if I did marry her, I wouldn't have a ring finger.
#7
Maybe instead of eating you, you and her could eat a drifter. Like, make it one of those things you do together as a couple.
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#8
tell her to eat <.< >.> <.< your penis

Edit: got beaten to it, god damn
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Last edited by Lou108 at Aug 17, 2010,
#9
relationship thread brah!

but gross dude...
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#10
Quote by Jon777
Let her eat your dick.

I'd rather not man, we wouldn't be much of a couple. To be fair, I'd rather not get eaten. But I'll try anything once, and I don't need those fingers.
#11
Just cook a sausage and put some nail clippings on it, she won't know the difference. And keep your left hand in your pocket so she doesn't notice anything amiss.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#12
Quote by Soul Power
Maybe instead of eating you, you and her could eat a drifter. Like, make it one of those things you do together as a couple.

I've considered that, but I don't want to eat people.


dude, how does this fit in the relationship thread. She wants to eat me. It's better than anything Fassa's ever posted.
#14
Quote by Pat_s1t
Hmm, time for an obligatory and uncreative pun.

"Looks like TS bit off a bit more than he could chew on this one!"


I am not pleased.

TS demands that you come back with a creative pun.
#15
It all depends. Will she be permanently satisfied from munching on a few fingers, or will she expect to eat more and more until you're just a brain stem and a skeleton? Or can't you just give her your spare kidney?
I Want One!!!

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#16
Quote by Soul Power
Maybe instead of eating you, you and her could eat a drifter. Like, make it one of those things you do together as a couple.


Aww
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He will be missed.
#17
Quote by Salute to Jaco
It all depends. Will she be permanently satisfied from munching on a few fingers, or will she expect to eat more and more until you're just a brain stem and a skeleton? Or can't you just give her your spare kidney?

That's what I want to know, tbh. I mean, she can have the fingers, I haven't been able to use them for years. But if she wants more, I don't want to part with any other body parts. I could placate her with my tonsils, and my spleen. But where does it end?

It's probably illegal though.
#18
The buffet at the wedding reception is gonna suck.
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#19
Quote by guitarsftw
The buffet at the wedding reception is gonna suck.


I beg to differ.
#20
Quote by Ashland112
I beg to differ.

Oh cool, you just volunteered to be the buffet.
#21
Maybe I don't understand true love, but it sounds like this isn't worth going through with.
I Want One!!!

The Kraftwerkers: The Society for the Appreciation of Kraftwerk
#23
Quote by SaintsofNowhere
I wish this were real

Erm, it is mate. It's a serious question, but most people don't have much experience with it.
#26
This is weird

I'm gonna suggest that you just eat a prostitute or maybe a hobo

No one will miss them
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#27
Quote by UraniYum
I've met a woman. She's prefect in every way, unbelievably gorgeous, smart, and knows her Halloween films.

The only problem is she wants to eat me. Literally.

If it comes down to it, half my fretting hand is paralyzed, and I wouldn't mind losing it.


So? That sounds like the ideal girl. Perfect in every way bruh.
hide your kids, hide your wife.

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UG Hatecrew FTW
#28
Quote by trebe
WHY does she wanna eat you literally?

She's had a rough life, taken too many mind-altering substances. She suffered from drug-induced pyschosis. I had the same thing, it changes you on a fundamental level. I believe Muhammad Ali is the second coming.

We're a pretty good match.

EDIT^ She is if you don't mind missing body parts.

^^Homeless people still have families.
Last edited by UraniYum at Aug 17, 2010,
#30
Quote by Boomspartaakick
What do cannibals do after they dump their boyfriend/girlfriend?

Wipe their butt.



Bad joke timing.


and what are these mind altering drugs of which you speak?
People in the pit take my post way too seriously.

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Last edited by Deadlock Riff at Aug 17, 2010,
#31
Are you actually considering this? How long have you known her?

I don't mean for these to come off as condescending, I'm just curious.
all I ever wanted was to pick apart the day
put the pieces back together my way
#32
this is why you dont date zombies

edit: now i feel like a jerk...sorry ts goddamit
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sorry
#33
Quote by mattman93
Are you actually considering this? How long have you known her?

I don't mean for these to come off as condescending, I'm just curious.

Well, I'm a gonzo kind of fella. And my paralyzed fingers have ruined my guitar playing. So I wouldn't mind losing them.

To put it in perspective, I'm 20, she's 21. It may just be a phase.

I've known her for 8 years, we've both abused substances, to the max. This is the actual side-effects of uppers. You want to eat people.

This is going to get closed because no-one believes me .

EDIT: ^ no worries man, she's just a girl with a slightly... injured mind.
Last edited by UraniYum at Aug 17, 2010,
#35
Are you serious you're advising him to let her cut off his fingers and eat them?

Iv this were real, what happens when she leaves you or wants something else? What happens when you stop liking her and you're missing fingers? Without a guarantee there's no logical reason to give up something that you'll never get back.

I still think you're trolling. This is too stupid.

#36
Quote by SaintsofNowhere
Are you serious you're advising him to let her cut off his fingers and eat them?

Iv this were real, what happens when she leaves you or wants something else? What happens when you stop liking her and you're missing fingers? Without a guarantee there's no logical reason to give up something that you'll never get back.

I still think you're trolling. This is too stupid.

Fella, this is real. If she moves on, my fingers move on. I won't miss them. They don't work.

She has an interest in cannibalism. I have some fingers to spare. They were paralysed last year, I'm a joiner. It's a match made in heaven.

I do not care about these fingers. What happens if she doesn't like the taste, but values the commitment?

I know it's hard to believe.
#37
Quote by UraniYum
Fella, this is real. If she moves on, my fingers move on. I won't miss them. They don't work.

She has an interest in cannibalism. I have some fingers to spare. They were paralysed last year, I'm a joiner. It's a match made in heaven.

I do not care about these fingers. What happens if she doesn't like the taste, but values the commitment?

I know it's hard to believe.


Can't say I believe you 100%. You will have a weird looking hand if you lose them and she leaves you, and feeding her your fingers won't help whatever has gone wrong with her making her want to eat people.

I would never say a relationship in which the female wants to consume the male is "made in heaven". Maybe made by spiders. They do that, y'know

#38
Quote by UraniYum
Fella, this is real. If she moves on, my fingers move on. I won't miss them. They don't work.

She has an interest in cannibalism. I have some fingers to spare. They were paralysed last year, I'm a joiner. It's a match made in heaven.

I do not care about these fingers. What happens if she doesn't like the taste, but values the commitment?

I know it's hard to believe.

You said that you've known her for 8 years, is this a recent thing with her. I suggest waiting longer if you actually are serious about and also talk to her about it. How does she feel about you wanting to do this for her? Just think about it, I have a feeling you'd miss your fingers more then you think.
all I ever wanted was to pick apart the day
put the pieces back together my way
#39
I can't belive there's actually a thread on this... Might I remind you, you're asking the PIT if you should let your girlfriend eat your fingers. I vote no btw, that's just disgusting.
I pride myself on my humility.
#40
Quote by SaintsofNowhere
Can't say I believe you 100%. You will have a weird looking hand if you lose them and she leaves you, and feeding her your fingers won't help whatever has gone wrong with her making her want to eat people.

I would never say a relationship in which the female wants to consume the male is "made in heaven". Maybe made by spiders. They do that, y'know

Half my hand is paralysed. I'm more informed on the subject. It looks goddamn weird already.

Man, it's obviously pretty goddamn strange, but it's true. And the Pit has some pretty strange regulars.


Quote by mattman93
You said that you've known her for 8 years, is this a recent thing with her. I suggest waiting longer if you actually are serious about and also talk to her about it. How does she feel about you wanting to do this for her? Just think about it, I have a feeling you'd miss your fingers more then you think.

I do believe you're being too rational about this. She wants to eat me man. I haven't been able to use those finger since the accident, they're just an embarrassment.


This is so going to get locked because people think I'm trolling. Mods, I'm not, I am honestly in this situation.
Last edited by UraniYum at Aug 17, 2010,
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