#1
seated in quiet tension
expectant of
nothings sure to come.
heydays washed out and in
the estuaries of gray-days
there's peace in this;
emptiness on black-cloud trains
hopping out right before the rain
and the city limits.

union station, union square;
send me patience, show me care.
wandering through traffic and
breathing in the wrigley air.

it's here in the bones of the city
railways rusted; treetops pretty.
(the el roaring forward like
it doesn't even miss me.)
with traffic lights clicking red to green,
tired counting seconds in between;
it's here in the veins of mass transit
i search for the heart of my city,
the hope i'll never be alone again,
ponce de leon and the mythical fountain.
#2
i dont really know what to say.. loved the whole piece, the first stanza is great i always loved reading pieces that places pretty images in my mind.

it's here in the bones of the city
railways rusted; treetops pretty.
(the el roaring forward like
it doesn't even miss me.)
but it started sounding funny to me from here though, especially the last line
with traffic lights clicking red to green,
tired counting seconds in between;
it's here in the veins of mass transit
i search for the heart of my city,
the hope i'll never be alone again,
ponce de leon and the mythical fountain
.

could u explain what this all means?
#3
i really connected with this. i'm from chicago too (i had no idea you were, though) and i've often felt the same way while walking down the streets of that city. the rumbling and bustling of everyone and everything on the move has left me feeling so detached and disconnected from it all (the "el" line was spot on). i've often shared the same hollow feeling that this narrator feels. and i also feel like you don't necessarily need to be from chicago to get where he's coming from either.

only thing i didn't necessarily like was "wrigley air". personally, i thought it merely served to note that the poem was being set in chicago and didn't add much to the piece in terms of description. just my opinion though.

like i said, i really connected with this man.
here, My Dear, here it is
#4
First stanza was just too constructed for me to find meaning in. The wording felt unnatural and the flow was awkward at best.

I loved the rest of it though, you found your pace and in a way, it suited to the theme, the awkward search for meaning in a city, search for purpose in a place where there are so many to choose from.

I still think you could have made the first stanza more elegant in it's confusion and incoherence, but I did like the piece in general. It had a heart.
This is not a pipe