#1
Last week I posted a song, and wasn't comfortable with the feedback so, here's another try. I put the drums in to serve as a place holder, I'm not very good at writing drums, so if the beats are really simple that's why, it's just to give an idea. and if anyone wants to play with the drums that'd be sweet.

C4C thank you.
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#2
What's with the 8/4... You may aswell tab is as 4/4. Anyway, that aside. The intro was damned good. The drums could be better, but you said you weren't very good at those anyway. The piano run at bar 8 sounds odd to me, try changing the E's to Eb's. The tremolo picked part near the end of the intro was great. Generic. But I am a sucker for that kind of stuff

The verse... just sounded a mess, to be quite honest. The intro was builing up to something epic, then it kind of gets killed by a metalcore-ish verse. I think guitar one is the problem, I muted that and it sounded a fair bit better. Just change what guitar one does so that it compliments everything else a bit more.

The chorus, the transition into it sounded a bit forced. But the chorus itself, it was alright. But I think those high-chord things guitar one does need to turned down a little, so that guitar 2 comes through a bit more. 29 - 31, have one of those guitars doing something different, even if it's just powerchords, it will help pad it out a bit.

The outro, was fantastic. It didn't flow from the chorus though, that's my only real critism.

Overall, 7/10. Could use some work, it's mainly the verse that kills it for me, to be honest. But with work, this could easily be a 9 or 10 out of 10.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#3
And the 6/4 could've been 3/4, I just need more bars, and before I knew it I had a lot of retarded time sigs. Thanks for feedback and I agree with the verse comments. And I was trying to do to the chorus what you said, I was just having issues getting it to come out similar.
#4
Quote by Matt Chavie
And the 6/4 could've been 3/4, I just need more bars, and before I knew it I had a lot of retarded time sigs. Thanks for feedback and I agree with the verse comments. And I was trying to do to the chorus what you said, I was just having issues getting it to come out similar.


I don't really mind people tabbing 3/4 as 6/4. But doing 4/4 as 8/4 just seems a biy silly to me. But that's a fair enough excuse anyway.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#5
Just saw your comment on mine.


The intro reminds me of agalloch, therefore it's insta-like. Wasn't a big fan of the verse, but the rhythm guitar had something going. You need to find a better way to end the chorus: it was a bit of a letdown. Again, the outro was cool, but it needs to flow a little better from the previous riff.

That's all i got, I can't comment on the drums or bass because i can't write them myself
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#6
Can I just say thats over hellishly quickly. Which is a shame. If you had just one more riff to throw in in place to would solve at a lot of over use problems. What I mean by that is often in song writing if you have similar sections too close together they almost instantly lose their impact the section time through.

That be said mind you, This had some very awesome moments. The piano was a nice touch though in bar 16 and all bars similar I would change the 5 to a 6, I don't know it stood out less against the chord you where going for to my ears. Personal pref probably.

But I definitely suggest you write a pre-verse riff or something, to bulk this out to the usual 3 mins something. and instead of jumping to the outro you could have a middle "eight" [hopefully would that provides contrast] and then the outro.

Speaking of that outro. Nice. Thats all I'll say haha

If you want to crit something, take your pick from my sig. Can't remember if you've done one already, but in that case crit the other :P hehe see you round!