#1
this song is about how promises were made between friends and yet broken time and time again.

enjoy! don't get too harsh :/


London Bridge

what can i say, when you slip away
i don't know what i've done wrong this time.
nothing left today, so much left unsaid.
how i hope things turn out okay.

and i look at you i have nothing to say
when things go out of hand
will i be the one to knit the stitch
when your words weakned it.

this is our very own london bridge,
it's falling down on us indefinitely.
what can we do, my fair lady?
what can we do, my fair lady? x2

and i lay out the cards on the table right
about time we handle all the feelings inside
will i be the one again to suffer the most
because i feel the friendship going cold.

this is our very own london bridge,
it's falling down on us indefinitely.
what can we do, my fair lady?
what can we do, my fair lady? x2

what's all this awkwardness between us
i thought we were friends, i thought saying it was enough
it all boils down to a matter of trust and
i guess we would never go back to the past.

this is our very own london bridge,
it's falling down on us indefinitely.
what can we do, my fair lady?
what can we do, my fair lady?
#2
i like it! but there are some good n bad points!! bad points- verse1 doesnt flow that well, the chorus.. doesnt fit either. good points- i love verse2 and verse3, verse4 is also good! so overall good job!! keep on writing
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I write poetry
And it sucks.
#4
Just so you know. London Bridge is a very plain, boring motor bridge in London. You probably imagine Tower Bridge.
Not sure how that adds to your song. But brits get a chuckle out of people who get that confused.
Been in Japan since August, no fucking money left!
#5
well, i thought of it being london bridge is falling down, and "metaphorically, falling down" as the bridge crumbles. you know, burning bridges...etc. ah i should stop :X
#6
Quote by CantReadTabs
well, i thought of it being london bridge is falling down, and "metaphorically, falling down" as the bridge crumbles. you know, burning bridges...etc. ah i should stop :X

Yeah I get you. More to do with the nursery rhyme than the bridge itself.
The song is because we actually sold London Bridge to the Americans. They expected it was Tower Bridge but they asked for London Bridge so we took it down, brick by brick and delivered it to America.
Been in Japan since August, no fucking money left!
#7
hmm.. change the 2nd and last line of verse1, though i dont know exactly wat could be written in place of it so THINK!!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I write poetry
And it sucks.
#8
thanks alot leafwhisperer, now i have a history lesson in this xD

looks like it's back to the songwriting board.
#9
yeah i did understand the metaphorical meaning of london brigde but wat about the line "wat can we do fair lady" i mean i dont know... it doesnt fit?!
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I write poetry
And it sucks.
#10
hahaha, "london bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down, london bridge is falling down, my fair lady" i hope i got the correct rendition of this nursery rhyme. but..does it fit now? haha
#11
hahaha sure it does:P this is going nowhere -__-
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I write poetry
And it sucks.
#13
I could see this working as is. If you've ever read the lyrics to a song you haven't heard before it can be surprising how different the song is compared to what you might think it would sound like. Good work.
#18
ahh corny, haha yea i guess. i was pretty much clueless on what to add in there...

i already did, thanks for the critique =)