#1
love can be found in
dark blue eyes with just a spot of amber
honey brown eyes that glow in the light
icy blue eyes that grow sad when you speak
chocolate eyes that flicker in the dark
green eyes that match the sunlight filtered in leaves
hazel eyes that aren't sure what to say so they sip on coffee

love can be found in hats
the ones worn with flannel and dusted with snow
found in the words that you speak like water over rocks
found in fish
found in cocaine-funded spending sprees
found in new jersey
found in a bite-sized guitar pick sent through the mail
found in love poems

love can be found in a headrub
both by momma and by phillip

love can be found in a backscratch
love can be found in kittens


love can be found in people i dont know very well
in things that dont care back and in simple little comforts
but most importantly, i hope to find love
in the warm black eyes staring back at me every morning.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#2
"Mad I smoke cigs, said they bad for my own health; said she'll never love me cuz I don't love my own self..."

I liked this. I was expecting a "melt" somewhere in the first verse. The only thing I'd change would be to substitute "spoken" for "that you speak" in the second verse.

And I really hope love can be found in new jersey. It'll give me a reason to not hate it so much.
the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn


#3
i haven't had much to say about your recent stuff, but i really liked this saadia. i'll have something more constructive to say on your next one
here, My Dear, here it is
#4
I think this is a wonderful taste of simplicity and the closest I've heard anyone come to describing love since Shakespeare told us his mistresses eyes were nothing like the sun.
#5
I find most times, repitition just doesn't work for me, but this had a good ring to it. Going through the different eye colors brought a lot of imagery to mind thinking about it. I've got hazel eyes and it described me pretty well. I can never think of the right thing to say, lol.

The first 2 lines in the last stanza almost seemed just thrown in there to me. It just felt like it took away from the rest, but then those last lines just jump out at me and I forgot all about it. "Warm black eyes" seems like the perfect oxymoron. Awesome way to end it.
#6
it's a nice sentiment and one that i've been clinging to myself lately, and the bittersweet ending ties it off beautifully. i liked this more than most of your other stuff.
#8
Are you people still rating each other's pieces on a 10 scale? Really?

Ms. Vintage (though I know your name is Saadia, which is fun to type),

I have personally inspected many of the places you mentioned, not necessarily looking for love specifically, but more "just because it feels good to be right here right now" and I can tell you that love does linger in those places, sometimes if we're looking for it or not, so there is truth here. For example, "found in love poems" Right. Well, this is a love poem you've written here, certainly, a poem about where love can be found, and I love the way you ended it, coming back around in that kind-of-sappy-but-no-one's-going-to-say-it-because-it-makes-them-feel-good sort of way. It's happy ending, you know? We know. So yes, this could just be a list, but it's not just a list. however, if I'm ever wondering where it's gone off to, I will reference this list, even though it is not just a list.
#9
I dislike the list format of this poem- it makes me feel like I'm being lead through it. I enjoy the sentiment, however, I find the form a little grating. it feels very fill-in-the-blank.
#10
thanks guys. idk. I just wanted and needed to write it, not as a piece of art or good writing but just a simple collected expression of thoughts
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#12
love can be found in
dark blue eyes with just a spot of amber
honey brown eyes that glow in the light
icy blue eyes that grow sad when you speak
chocolate eyes that flicker in the dark
green eyes that match the sunlight filtered in leaves
hazel eyes that aren't sure what to say so they sip on coffee
This has a lot of good imagery here.
love can be found in hats
the ones worn with flannel and dusted with snow
found in the words that you speak like water over rocks
found in fish
found in cocaine-funded spending sprees
found in new jersey
found in a bite-sized guitar pick sent through the mail
found in love poems
Found in fish just seems a little tacky.

love can be found in a headrub
both by momma and by phillip

love can be found in a backscratch
love can be found in kittens


love can be found in people i dont know very well
in things that dont care back and in simple little comforts
but most importantly, i hope to find love
in the warm black eyes staring back at me every morning.
Hmmm maybe a different color then black.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1353352
"Music became a healer for me. And I learned to listen with all my being. I found that it could wipe away all the emotions of fear and confusion relating to my family." Eric Clapton
Last edited by Blackwaterson89 at Aug 22, 2010,
#13
as with all love focused pieces, i came in half expecting to contract diabetes, but the sentiment is actually quite disarming, even to someone as grumpy as me. the simplicity of content makes you take stock of everything you love in a way thats very difficult to be cynical about. its nice. if it had a face, i would imagine it smiling contentedly, in a way that would make you feel guilty if you were to punch it.
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------
#14
i want everyone to read this. i keep coming back to it.
the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn