#1
Hey there. Back with yet another new one.

This one is pretty much all doomy. Very influenced by Mar de Grises, along with the usual suspects. Burzum and Moonsorrow such.

It's long, but not quite so long as the previous two. This one is only like 12.37 or so.

Regardless, I like it, and would like some outside thoughts on it. C4C if I have time, and if ya leave a link. [Can't promise though, as I'm starting college very soon]
Attachments:
Loss.zip
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#2
Anybody?
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#3
I find it rather insane that you can essentially shit out new songs pretty quickly and they are quality. That said I'll give you a critique:

A: Very doomy and very enjoyable. It does what it sets out to do.

B: I like the transition here. Some may find it a bit awkward, but I think it works. The riff is interesting for the style of music. I'm no expert in music theory but I love the chord progression being used here.

C: I like this riff as well. Nothing overly memorable up to this point, but atmospherically it does the trick. This section reminds me of classical music.

A-1: The mix is very thick here. I think in a recording it would be nicer than it sounds on GP.

D: I like this in the same way as B.

E: I always like when you write softer parts. This is probably the best part of the song up to this point.

C again: The transition into this part makes this part more interesting for some reason. It just makes sense. In a recording I would consider throwing in some octave strings to make it stand out from the earlier C section. I also think it would be a good build up from the strings in E to this section.

A-2: Hands down the best section so far as far as I am concerned. I love the black metal riffing in general, and the synths are just perfect behind it. I love your control of dynamics through drums as well.

F: This one is good. Not nearly as memorable as A-2, but it works.

D-1: I am really enjoying this section.

G: I like this. It has the doom chords plus black metal riffing. It just works in context of the song as well.

G-1: This was unexpected and is very nice. I would be tempted to say extend this song a little bit more in the following way: During the last 2 repeats of this cello riff, add a harmonizing string instrument. Incorporate some light drums to that section as what would essentially be a build up. Then follow that section with straight blast beats, a nice black metal tremelo picked chord riff to go behind this same melody. I think it would work dynamically, and give you the opportunity on a recording to really bring the song to a brutal end and make some sort of statement in the final act of the song. I also think adding that would essentially bring some sort of conclusion to the song when it appears to just end in monotony (albeit, well done monotony).

Overall you have, yet another, good song on your hands. Most of the riffs are good to excellent, and I would like to see what you can do with my advice regarding the outro.
#4
First, I shall address the song.

I LOVE that idea you suggested for the ending. I think that'd be brilliant. If I can do it right.

When I have time/a chance, I think I will for sure at least try that out. xD

and second...
Quote by Ulalume
I find it rather insane that you can essentially shit out new songs pretty quickly and they are quality. That said I'll give you a critique:


I take that as a compliment. Made me laugh pretty hard, gotta say. I'm glad you enjoy them overall, too.
That said, make no mistake, it is tough to write this fast... But I can do it when I have proper inspiration. Usually, once I have a riff or two [+ideas/variations], it all just snowballs and I can write a song pretty quick... [However, the two I posted before this one were written in like... June/early July. So it's like one song a month, at this rate. Maybe two if I'm lucky, like this month. ]

EDIT: [yes, I do have one more song under wraps to post at some point.
might just be my best too. I'm still tweaking it here and there, but it'll come soon. When it has a name, probably. ]
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Aug 24, 2010,
#5
I thought I'd give this a shot, despite only being able to listen to the midi track, so unfortunately, I can't bring tones into consideration, just rhythm and melody. Nonetheles...


This thing sounds huge, really powerfully dark, very atmospheric in the melodies. The sort of thing that has the gravitas to fill stadiums. I really like how it's all layered, gives a really thick sound - shame I can't hear the tones of each intrument. :/
Plenty of changes of pace to keep things interesting. I will say, it's a little long for me, but that's much more down to personal taste. I'm no expert, but I'd say really good job.

(c4c- https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=25100624#post25100624)
#6
If you rework the ending do post it back up here so I can have a listen.

Also, record some of your music. With some proper recording and what not, you have the potential to be a noticeable act in the black metal scene. Thats coming from someone who has been relatively active locally and through the internets (haha). In all honesty most black metal of late has really been boring me to tears, with a few exceptions.
#7
I for sure will post it back if I do.

And I'd love to record my albums, but I wanna make it sound... I dunno, how I hear it in my head? And so far, I just don't have the means... I need a bass/bass amp, a better way to program drums and strings/piano than FL Studio, and a Shure SM57 + computer interface, first.

But I digress. Someday, I'll definitely record it all.

Oh, and really [about the bm]? If ya gimme a list of your favorites, I might be able to rectify that/recommend some good stuff to check out. Possibly.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#8
Hey man returning the favor

The song started out pretty nice allthough the meldoy sounded cinda random . after that it dragged on and it never got to the climax i was waiting for , some parts had some good mood , others were just boring , and the whole piece felt cinda repetetive and way to long ,
i dont mind long songs , but it has to be good to keep me hooked , and maybe its the midi that just doesn't do it for me since im used to RSE.

Anyway u have some good ideas but you repeat it way to much , and i think this could have used some more interesting leads to keep the repeating pieces more varied.

but keep in my mind im not a black metal fan !

6/10
Last edited by MobiuZ at Aug 31, 2010,
#9
I'll admit I'm not normally a fan of black metal but I thought "It cant hurt to try something new". Its starts off pretty good, but the main issue with this song is repetitiveness, which is especially an issue with long songs like this. A load of riffs that repeat alot and sound similar. Though I really liked E, really great part. A-2 was a refreshing change, I was waiting a long time for the song to pick up. One thng this song could do with is some lead lines. Normally this role is taken on by the vocals, but since you dont have any, you add in some lead guitar parts over some of the riffs. The cello ending was a nice touch.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1356563
It's called Fake Tan and Faker Hair
Musical Theatre! *jazz hands*


...what am I doing on this site...
#10
wow man, sounds like depressive black metal or something.
A - Intro is awesome, atmospheric.
B - Good transition to move the song forward
C - Adds to the moody atmosphere
A 1 - Didnt really like the transition, you can take a 1 bar gap there to make it sound less abrupt. The riff is still very good.
D - Getting a bit repetitive now. Still works towards the song, but diminishingly now.
E - Again, the transition. Work on it man. The riff, still sounds fine.
A 2 - Now, that's something i am talking about. Good job on this part. Though, goes on too long.
F - No change in drum pattern? Rhythm?
D 1 - Nothing much to comment on.
G - Really liked it. But, why so long?
G - 1 - Nice outro to end a good atmospheric black metal song.

Tell you what, i am actually learning some of the riffs on guitar. can you also help me in writing stuff of this genre? i am trying since sometime but haven't found good success.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1357307
#11
Thanks for the comments, everyone. I shall get back to y'all as soon as I can. I'm aware it's repetitive; that was kinda part of the goal. The drums are pretty much where all the variation lies. That being said, I may still make some cuts/changes/add some variation.

And blackmagician: Depressive BM, eh? I'll take that as a compliment. DBM is a big influence on me. Namely Gris, Miserere Luminis, Farsot, Sui Caedere and the like.
And the end is so long cause well... I wanted it that way. Wanted all those subtle changes in the rhythm, build up the drums, build the tension, and finally release it with the Cello outro. There'll probably be vocals over it too, of course. [There's meant to be vocals over all of my songs, I just have yet to actually write lyrics... ]
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#12
I was just relooking at this and saw your comment regarding needing the right gear for recording. Whenever that occurs, if you need assistance by way of synth strings/piano or even drums (albeit programmed) I can help you out. I have pretty high quality gear for those purposes. Just letting you know my friend.
#13
Thanks for the offer, good ser! I may indeed take you up on that. xD

Anybody else got a crit?
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#14
to me it sounds like a neverending slow avenged sevenfold or non doom band-ish bridge. ive never really listened to "doom" because if youre trying to head bang its about up and down every 10 seconds.
#15
I'm not sure whether to laugh or facepalm.
Let's go with both.


Ever thought to realize that perhaps, just maybe, the goal of doom isn't headbanging/moshing/whatnot?

But I must say. If you listened to the whole thing, there's proper 'headbanging' material in the 'grooves' later on in the song. [see: pretty much any section in which double bass is used.]

I'm also more than slightly confused as to how you'd get anywhere near gay7x out of this, let alone anything I've ever done. In any case, you did say you've never listened to anything doom, so run along and listen to Fall of Every Season/Mar de Grises/Swallow the Sun [who all have songs in which proper headbanging material exists, mind you], before you try to pin down what my doomy material sounds like. Then, you can come back, and we'll talk. mkay pumpkin?
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Oct 17, 2010,
#16
I can't get past the Casio keyboard purchased from Toys R' Us being used throughout. Sounds like one of the Casio pre-programmed demo's that you would hear in Walmart lol. There is nothing original about this at all and nothing stands out. This is not doom nor is it remotley black metal in any way shape or form period and anyone who mentioned those as comparisons needs to be slapped. Boring and repetitive. The start of the techno at 6:00 is hilarious. Orion from Master of Puppets anyone?
#17




Wow, I need to update this if you're going to necro it. It's all rather out of date with updates I've made.

Regardless, I do hope you realize that it's written in GP. It merely gives one an idea. Repetitive? Sure, needs vocals though. But, as far as Orion goes, I havent listened to that song in YEARS. So that's surprising. Especially considering I hate Metallica.

And as to originality or what have you, that's fine. Think what you will. I just play, and hope to write songs that I get some enjoyment out of. Whether they be cathartic or fun, or whatever. I'm not trying to reinvent the wheel or anything. Just play from what inspires me and hope it comes out into something I like. Something I want to hear.

Aaaaaand finally, I just would like to say, when it's recorded you might have a better idea as to what it is and/or isn't. I know merely my influences and what it sounds like, and what I want it to sound like in my head. Which hopefully, I can make come to fruition someday.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Mar 12, 2011,
#18
Quote by Lokki Saints
I can't get past the Casio keyboard purchased from Toys R' Us being used throughout. Sounds like one of the Casio pre-programmed demo's that you would hear in Walmart lol. There is nothing original about this at all and nothing stands out. This is not doom nor is it remotley black metal in any way shape or form period and anyone who mentioned those as comparisons needs to be slapped. Boring and repetitive. The start of the techno at 6:00 is hilarious. Orion from Master of Puppets anyone?


Elitist anyone?