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#1
Hey there writers of UG! This is for you. We've been hosting an ongoing competition for short stories! Unlike last round though, we're hoping that this thread will continue on. If you've any interest in writing, even if you've never tried, this is where to start! We will tell you how to do better

The first one went very well, with 25 entrants and three judges, and the winner was dann_blood. The second round went just as well, and Sir Anonymous was crowned victor. In the third, Neopowell the PUSO was first place finisher. In the fourth round, webbtje took first place.


This fifth round will be Flash Fictions, just as the first round.

Quote by wikipedia

Originally Posted by Wikipedia
Flash fiction is fiction of extreme brevity. There is no widely accepted definition of the length of the category. Some self-described markets for flash fiction impose caps as low as 300, while others consider stories as long as 1000 words to be flash fiction.



The last few rounds we used 500 words, and to keep that tradition going we'll do 500 again. For reference, this post is about 250 words including the Wikipedia entry, and there are a lot of spaces, so it might appear shorter or longer to you, don't be discouraged.

There is no cap on entrances.

Judges will be SteveHouse and dann_blood, plus one additional judge. Feel free to offer your services, but be prepared to rate more than 25 stories.


Judges will be

dann_blood

SteveHouse

alaskan_ninja

Crossback7

vintage x metal

Deadline is September 1st.
Last edited by captaincrunk at Aug 21, 2010,
#2
Sounds fun! I'm definitely in.
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#4
I'll go ahead and be the Word Count Czar if you like. My Word 07 is unbeatable.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#8
Quote by gonzaw
Is there going to be some kind of compilation in the end or something?



Everyone posts their stories ITT. The judges (and anyone else who wants) read them. Then the judges put them in order from best to least good. Compilation...?

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#10
Quote by SteveHouse


Everyone posts their stories ITT. The judges (and anyone else who wants) read them. Then the judges put them in order from best to least good. Compilation...?



From all the rounds...

Also I cba to look through all the pages of these threads to read every single story, it would be better if they were compiled and put in the OP/another thread or something...
#12
I'll be joining, although I'm annoyed that this contests is in the weeks when I have results day, college induction day, my driving theory test and I still have to finish reading Hamlet before the start of College. Oh well.

Edit: Oh and by the way. If you requested more detailed critic on your work from last time, I haven't forgotten you. I know it's taking forever but I've been having some issues will social events and other interruptions. If you still want it doing I will, just resend me your piece or the name of it so I can find the file. I really apologise for taking so long though.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
Last edited by Todd Hart at Aug 18, 2010,
#13
Quote by gonzaw
From all the rounds...

Also I cba to look through all the pages of these threads to read every single story, it would be better if they were compiled and put in the OP/another thread or something...

500 words/story * 20+ stories/competition * fifth competition = a short novel, 50,000 words. You compile it.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#16
IIRC, Alaskan Ninja volunteered to judge as well, right?

Quote by The Contagen
Wait...so we just write about anything that pops in our heads as long as its fiction?

And it's under 500 words.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#17
Need a judge? If not, I'll enter, but I would love to judge.
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#19
Quote by SteveHouse
500 words/story * 20+ stories/competition * fifth competition = a short novel, 50,000 words. You compile it.


And don't forget to collect written agreements of permissable copyright.
#21
Quote by Colohue
And don't forget to collect written agreements of permissable copyright.

I think we should edit the terms of collective commons licensing into the first post.
Everyone loves CC!


Also I'm probably in.
#23
Quote by MadClownDisease
I think we should edit the terms of collective commons licensing into the first post.
Everyone loves CC!


Also I'm probably in.


Yeah, UG forum servers are held under Russian copyright law.
#24
Et Voila! Here it is!

WARNING: Contains naughty words and use of caps-lock!



The Writer's Tale

“Now then,” began Marley, leaning forward on his clasped fists and peering over his spectacles, “Before we begin let me just thank you sincerely for making our organisation your firs..”

“Stop that” snarled Asher with barely any attempt to conceal his disdain “I've no interest in your corporate spiel. All I want to know is whether you're going to publish me or not?”

“Well, after giving your piece a great deal of consider..”

“A simple Yes or No will do just fine, thankyou”

“Oh, very well then” remarked Marley, leaning back in his chair. “In that case, I'm afraid it's going to be a No”

Asher closed his eyes momentarily and exhaled deeply.

“Fine, fine, that's just.....fine, thankyou” He stammered, then paused. “Do you mind if I ask why?

“Well, when we reviewed your book we noticed some similarities to other, previously published works”

“Yes? So what's the problem?”

“The problem is that you appear to have borrowed very heavily from these other works, you understand?”

“And? What's wrong with that!? It's called inspiration....Writers do it all the time!”

“That may be so, Mr Asher. But quite frankly, your book is a piece of flat-out Plagiarism”

“WHAT...THE...FUCK!??” exploded Asher “How...how can you even say that, you fat fucking....RING PIECE!!? Do you even know what the fuck you're talking about? What part of it is fucking PLAGIARISM? Come on; orphaned boy, lives with his hated relatives? Discovers he has magic powers? Goes off to magic school? HOW ISN'T IT FUCKING ORIGINAL!!??

“That's the plot of Harry Potter” replied Marely “Mr Asher, please calm down or I'm going to have to..”

“NO I WON'T FUCKING CALM DOWN YOU PIG-FACED FUCK. I..I mean, sure, that part's borrowed a bit, but...but what about the part where the protagonist is captured by hundreds of tiny people? That part's fucking golden!!”

“That's Gulliver's Travels. Please calm down or I will..”

“NO!! FUCK YOU!! FUCK ALL OF YOU!! Arrgh! Alright, fine! How about when the hero is crucified by the Romans only to return to life 3 days later, huh?”

“That's the Bible”

“WELL OF COURSE IT'S FUCKING SIMILAR, IT'S A VERY RELIGIOUS WORK!!! BUT LIKE YOU'D FUCKING KNOW ANYWAY YOU CUNT-FACED...DICKSHAFT!!!”

“Mr Asher, I'm going to call..”

“FUCK OFF!! I DON'T CARE WHO YOU CALL. MAYBE YOU SHOULD CALL SOMEONE WHO KNOWS FUCKING LITERATURE??!! I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN SIT THERE IN THAT CHAIR AND CALL YOURSELF A FUCKING PUBLISHER?? YOU WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD BOOK IF IT WHIPPED YOUR ARSE IN A FUCKING NAZI ORGY YOU...SCROTUM SUCKING PERVERT!!”

Not even the arrival of security could interrupt Asher's hateful diatribe, which continued even as they dragged him kicking and screaming down the hallway. Marley waited until the raucous screams had subsided, then casually pressed the button on his intercom.

“Sheila. Send in my next appointment, please.”
Last edited by PeZ546 at Aug 19, 2010,
#26
"Nightfall"

Jane had never run as fast as she did that night.

There was no time to think, only just enough to act.

“Somebody please help me!” were the only words she could muster up the strength to proclaim to someone, anyone that would listen. But it was to no avail. The torrential downpour that sky of the outside world burst from its subjects of nimbus washed out her pleas to the gods above for help.

Jane Richardson was sprinting at such a brisk pace that the darkness around her concealed the wall she was speedily approaching from her vision. Like a tree in the woods being cut down, expounded from its resting spot high above the earth, Jane plummeted to the ground below at the impact of the concrete bricks.

Her pursuer ceased to move or even make a sound. She looked up at the unfamiliar pace for a quick second before succumbing to her pain. For a minute or two, Jane blacked out. The sight she awoke to could effortlessly make the firmest of man squeamish.

The first thing she noticed was the warm sensation of her own blood smoothly smearing down her face, dripping onto the floor below. She was on the floor, bound and gagged, lying on her stomach, only being able to look at the musty bookcase towering over her. Behind her was the man who had broken into her house on that Saturday night that she had spent in tears, the night she was supposed to spend with her fiancé. Instead, she spent it in solitude, sobbing into an old framed picture of the couple when they had first begun dating, remembering the times they had spent together, the moments that had deteriorated into nothing with one crushing blow.

Precisely two hours before the present, Jane opened the door to the house of Mark (her fiancé to see him receiving oral sex from another woman.

The man placed one hand on her neck, and the other was used to quickly to unclothe the two individuals, as he began to violently rape her. Jane tried as hard as she could to resist, but the large man’s brute strength opposed her feeble attempts to escape.

Like a violently twirling radiant band of light from the sky, thoughts of moments shared with her fiancé consumed her, as she again began to close her eyes and cry for the last time. The last thing Jane heard was not the sound of the bullet piercing through the back of her skull, but the soothing tone of Mark’s voice whispering lies about the other girl into her ear, and she believed every one of them.


There's my submission.
#27
Quote by dann_blood
IIRC, Alaskan Ninja volunteered to judge as well, right?
That I did. And the offer still stands.
kill all humans
#30
19/8/2010


Dear Abby,
It’s been such a long time since I’ve seen you darling, where have you been. I’ve missed your beautiful blue eyes, your intoxicating brown hair, and those cute little scars on your cheek. I know our last meeting may have not been so pleasant for you, but it’s water under the bridge now. If I can forgive you for cheating, surely you can forgive me for hitting you once or twice. Yes, surely you can forgive my anger and understand how I took your face in my hand and stole all its beauty, so that no other man would ever dare try to touch you again. I do so wish you can understand that it was because I wanted you to be mine forever that I carved an outline of my hand on your cheek. It may have been a little over the top, but we can’t have women being so insolent now can we? What would the world come to if we just let everyone run free and sleep with whoever they wanted to? No I needed to cut you up a bit so you would remember to stay in your place. I will admit though, that the hand was all that was necessary, and I did get a bit over-zealous with the whole thing. Worry not though, no one will ever see the other scars. If you dress like a proper woman that is. Now I’m afraid I must end the letter here, or they’ll find me and send me back to that dreaded hell-hole, but worry not love, I’ll come back to you one day. And what a glorious day that will be.

Love,
Anthony


And thar be me submission.
Last edited by cornmancer at Aug 19, 2010,
#35
^ You can only submit one.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#38
^ Im pretty sure thats referring to how many people submit. In the first few competitions there were 20-25 submissions allowed before the comp ended.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#39
I'm allowed to post a story that I posted in the Writer's Thread, right?
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. - Douglas Adams
#40
Sure, as long as it meets the requirements.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.