#1
The first finished project i have on Guitar Pro. I know the drums and bass may not be the best, but I really only play guitar. Also, I know the solo isn't great either, but all dissonance is intentional, and I can only really improvise.

*Any ways I can make the song longer? I was thinking about making the solo longer.

*What do you think of the bends on the chorus? Idk if I like them.

Please link to your song and I'll crit as soon as I can.
Attachments:
Schitzophrenia.gp5
Last edited by TheJHubs at Aug 19, 2010,
#2
Yeah, I'm not going to sugar coat my crit because if I did, you wouldn't gain anything from it. Personally, I thought the song was PG Thrash at best. It was extremely "kiddish" and not very heavy at all. It sounded like a theme to some cheesy 80's video game, to be honest. The drums and bass was extreme dull, boring and mindless. It's pretty clear that there wasn't any creativity into their creation.

Intro - There wasn't anything special about it. Had nothing that captured my interest.

Pre-verse - Sounded like the Guitar Pro theme tab. Plus, it's a generic progression that all of beginners use.

Verse - Pretty dull and lazy. Pretty much the same feelings as the above comments.

Chorus - I simply did not like it. It's too simple and generic.

Solo - The solo was just terrible and had little to no direction.

Overall, I would just use this song as a base to build off of. Make throw about some abstract ideas to make it more interesting? But overall, this song needs A LOT of work.
#3
the song would definatly benefit from having vocals on it, while the idea's are good, the way you structured everything needs some definite work.

my biggest issue was with the solo, definatly need to work on that man, it's just like some out of place thing smack bang in the middle of the song.

also, i would suggest shortening how many verses and choruses you have, or changing the riffs slightly because it starts getting overly repetitive.
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Although i guess the OP will have to get used to reading them if he's going to buy a bugera..
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along with fire escape routes...

#4
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sup i'm business

I would type something up for you but he's saved me the trouble!

Keep at it, don't be afraid to experiment. You have a good flow to your song so you have a good idea on how to arrange a song, but you really need to read up on some basic music theory and start doing more interesting rhythms and avoid bars of full of eight notes. That's what's killing you.
#5
Hmmm.. Okay, first of all, even though you stated you're maining a guitarist, you should still work on those drums. I imagine if you treated the bass the same way you did the guitar you could write something better for it, because in all honesty bass and guitar aren't all that different if you think about it when it comes to composing.

While the progressions and such are dull like the others have said, I'll be honest, I don't mind them... because they're simple you know? and fun. No need to be fancy when these do the job in the style you're writing for. Of course that doesn't mean you shouldn't be creative. naturally hehe.

the bends in the chorus.. I would get rid of them for a different lead line. Maybe even make the whole chorus slightly more melodic and less abrasive, so you get some kind of hook into there. cause even Thrash has those little hooks that really grab a listeners attention and keep them coming back for more.

eighth notes aren't as bad as people make about, but yes you should probably at least have one riff which doesn't rely on them entirely. To break things up.

On the drum front, I know this is only GP and any drummer playing this would improvise more, but don't be afraid of throwing in some variations rather than c&p-ing it all.

to summarise, even if you're not a bassist or drummer, don't be afraid to experiment with them hell I've only ever had a year of drum tuition, I never practice, and I don't have a kit or anything, but I manage you know.

Don't get disheartened by these crits dude. You're doing good. We're just trying to get you thinking.

EDIT: Forgot the solo. I'm not sure the dischord is working in the context of this song. I know what you're getting at, but I think a more melodic approach would be best in this situation. Of course still throw in a bit of dissonance if you fancy. It's never a bad thing to spice things up haha

Oh and if you have the time, a little comment on my newest would be awesome. Thanks! https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1356034
Last edited by Of_Wolves at Aug 29, 2010,
#6
First of all, lets get this out of the way: The solo was terrible. It almost seemed random. I'd suggest studying some basic music theory on scales or something to maybe get some knowledge of what notes to use. The pentatonic minor scale is a good one to use, along with using arpeggios. (But be careful with the pentatonic scale, if you use it wrong it'll sound like chinese oriental music). Just make sure all the different lick you make flow together. Also, maybe double the length of the solo, it's a bit short. Only do that if you think you can write enough good solo to fill the space.

Intro and main riff were okay, but it uses a REALLY common rhythm. That: |O..O..O.|O..O..O.| rhythm (where O is a note and . is other beats and | is a bar line) it wasnt really too catchy. Maybe vary the rhythm instead of using 8th notes all the way. One trick you can do is what I can only describe as starting the next bar early. on the last eighth note, tie it to the first eighth beat of the next bar. A simple trick, but it sounds good. Maybe dont do it on EVERY bar, but play around and see where it sounds good.

I actually liked the bends in the chorus. Sounds cool. Maybe add a different lead part over the second bit of the chorus.

Drums need work, though I like some of the bass licks you put in there.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1356563
It's called Fake Tan and Faker Hair.
It's a bit different to what I normally write.
Musical Theatre! *jazz hands*


...what am I doing on this site...
Last edited by MetaIronForce at Aug 31, 2010,