#1
stattacktuesque. heralding streets
parting talk to a cross like an intersection
or a stop in the road, fastening our bodies
to the seat of a car stalking on pavement
where past bodies never walked; and
we drive by statues, eyeballing us
past High.

we sit and talk about what they are thinking,
whether or not they are perfect beings, sculpted
to stand and to wait for something never coming,
or someone never leaving. Our hands soft for
marble contours, muscles and hips or white
tiny breasts, we sit and we watch in horrid regret
with no patience or love or spirit or beauty
we drive and we sulk with withering flesh, taught
tight faces sinking with age;
pink and red and blue and yellow we drive forward
constantly in rot.

yet the statues are never bleeding
anything but envy, green with vines,
dry with jealousy.
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#2
it seems like where other people kind of lose focus when theyre being descriptive you never get lost in your words they just work together well. i remember you wrote something about oh comely a while back and one of the things that stuck out to me was how you mentioned the description without the use of too many adjectives. I dont mean this specifically to this piece but you do that well also. Here in the first part i picture high street in columbus but i have such a clear image of the characters and the scene just because the wording is intoxicating (<-sort of a dramatic word choice).
I dunno bottom line is i'm just trying to describe how much i enjoy reading you and your style. nice post.
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Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#3
I enjoy the metaphor your putting across here, and I understand what you're trying to achieve with your style (as far as I know) but for the most part I see a lot of colours and no picture, if you know what I mean.

I think this piece lacks focus. its good and everything, but it doesn't feel like you're trying.