#1
Terrible band.

http://www.myspace.com/neichemusic

For lols

Listening to the beginning of alternative rock band Neiche's track "Oregon", the average alternative/indie rock fan will find the instrumentation pleasant and mellow. A simple chord progression arpeggiated by piano and guitar is peaceful and seems to induce beautiful images.
The mood begins to drift away from this, however, as the vocalist enters. "This indecent, unrealistic request / This atrocious, yet fantastic mess." The word mess is whispered hyper-dramatically, in what sounds like an almost self-mocking attempt to sound sensitive and romantic. Fortunately for the rest of the first verse, he does not repeat this error. However, the lyrics appear to be repeated attempts at deep, meaningful-sounding phrases all haphazardly strung together in a rhyming fashion. The singer's narrations provide conflicting emotions and feelings, and it's impossible for any real story to be conceived. It's not completely hard to imagine lines such as "This victory conceiled by deceit / Has left us completely obsolete" being awkwardly written with a rhyming dictionary in hand, and the two halves of the couplet really have no relation to each other.
The chorus finally enters: "You're playing with a loaded gun / Timing is everything on this one / You're wielding a double-edged blade / Let's hope you realize before it's too late." The "request" mentioned in the first line of the song is still not explained in the least, and the only purpose the lyrics seem to serve is to provide ultra-vague descriptions of some overly-dramatic conflict that is not once described any more clearly than lines such as "This stimulating verbal misuse / Is on par with drug abuse". Unfortunately, the only verbal misuse that's occurring is in these very lyrics. While sitting and pondering on whatever the **** that last line means, the listener is bombarded by another use of dramatic pretentious whisper from the singer. This time, however, he adds in a quantity of self-perceived sex appeal as he whispers "Addictive, vindictive at it's core / Making you beg for moooore." In accordance with the rule of three, this line is followed by the most forced rhyme in the entire song. "But now this pen is getting heavy / I might as well lower the levee." Really?
As the second chorus enters, it is a welcomed release. He ends the last word of the chorus with another whisper, unfortunately, but the guitar simultaneously launches into a new chord progression for the bridge as the other instruments drop out. The chords are surprisingly catchy, but a change in key signature makes it sound detached and unrelated to the previous sections of the song. A duel-speaker duet commences, with the first singer crooning "You know I would marry you in a heartbeat!" While this is an odd choice of lyrics for a 16-year-old boy, it has the added benefit of being horribly cliche. The second singer responds with "I'm more than eager to sweep you off your feet," and the first singer specifies "To our quaint little place in Oregon." Not many teenage boys own a "quaint little place in Oregon", or would say something like that, or would ever use the word "quaint", but Neiche is different. Neiche is sensitive.
The two singers continue, evidently so close that they finish each other's sentences. "It's a-", "White house with a picket fence..." Yes, the poetic, creative master songwriters behind Neiche has a beautiful dream house that is white. Oh, and it has a picket fence. He continues on to say something about how there's a forest next to it that's really thick with trees, and how he's so in love with his girlfriend that they could get lost in it and wander "for days", but it's obvious to the listener that he's making a lazy attempt to sing about feelings he doesn't really feel.
The bridge shifts melodies, and the new one is genuinely catchy and interesting, but the singer puts such an emphasis on his rhyming words that it sounds like a parody of itself, and his singing isn't particularly top-notch. The lines "Just to / Be together, just to / Grow old together, just to / Love together" sounds actually nice besides the rhythmic emphasis on "love", which is actually rather irritating. The next few bars, however, are the best in the entire song, and the lyrics for once are decent, though cliche. The chorus is repeated one more time, and the song is over.
So the overall effect of the band? Very full of themselves. Very pretentious. The awful lyrics wouldn't be as big of a deal if the band didn't list one of their three genres as "lyrical".
#2
Legs... breaking... can't... last.. much.. longer.. wall of text.. too.... big...

HHHNNNNGGGRRGGGHHHH
R.I.P. PAUL GILBERT

You will be missed...