#1
This is a song i've been writing, Kinda inspired by Firewind and Iced Earth, Solo isn't done yet, and with RSE the final chorus messes up, and playes at 115 BPM instead of 180, so If anyone can help me with that, I'd be greatful. and as always, C4C.
Attachments:
Sacred Avalon.zip
Quote by NotFromANUS
"Don't brutal your sister, Timmy!"


last.fm
#2
Critting as I listen. The Intro is pretty standard...nothing special. Same goes for the verse. The solo is pretty good. I actually did really enjoy the chorus...i like the minimalism of it. I like solo 2 but maybe change it up instead of playing the same thing 3 times. The transition to the instrumental passage is kind of abrupt. Wow, is that petrucci playing the beginning of solo 3? Like i said the chorus is my favorite part. I can def see Iced Earth/Firewind in there. Work on the solos and maybe add at least a vocal melody and Id say you have a pretty decent song.
#3
Thanks a bunch, I'll give the solo's a whack at again, but I'm a bass player so I'm not great at writing solo's but I'll try. Hmm. I was also thinking about the vocal melody. I'll give it a shot. thanks about the chorus, I really like it too!
Quote by NotFromANUS
"Don't brutal your sister, Timmy!"


last.fm
#4
Quote by Helloween4Ever
Thanks a bunch, I'll give the solo's a whack at again, but I'm a bass player so I'm not great at writing solo's but I'll try. Hmm. I was also thinking about the vocal melody. I'll give it a shot. thanks about the chorus, I really like it too!


oh so that explains the crazy basslines! They're pretty awesome btw.
Musical Theatre! *jazz hands*


...what am I doing on this site...
#6
Just listened to it in GP5 with RSE. I'll give you a proper crit now.

Liked the intro riff, though strumming the same note for three bars leaves room for improvement. Maybe add the power chord again at various points in the strumming to create a more interesting rhythm.
The basslines are definately one of the highlights of the song, especially in the final chorus. Thats some crazy shit. The chorus itself is great, the simplicity works really well. That solo was too repetitive. Needs more variation. But still sounds nice at the moment.
The switch to the instrumental passage was a bit abupt, but the riff there was pretty nice. Maybe have the sustain that leads into it ringing for more bars. I like the solo in there, but the random empty bar doesnt work. Is that just a part of the solo you havent done yet? Also, i think there should be solo all the way up to the 3rd chorus. If you do fill this bit, there would be a good bit to put some awesome solo lick, that bit of the solo that everyone remembers. The triplets need a bit more variation than just plain bars of three notes. Maybe change the top note sometimes?
Actually, I just played around with it a bit and I think this might sound better
http://img830.imageshack.us/img830/1811/32004081.png

Not a big change, and you have permission to use it if you want. If you dont like it, you dont have to use it.

Overall a pretty great song. Sorry if it looked like I was complaining about everything in the song, thats just my style of critting :P

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=25144000
Its called Fake Tan and Faker Hair
Musical Theatre! *jazz hands*


...what am I doing on this site...
#7
haha alright thanks man. Im gunna crit yours now, as I just got back from vactation. yeah, the solo is a weak spot for me. the empty bars are becuase I haven't written anything there yet. alright man, I'll give it a shot. thanks!
Quote by NotFromANUS
"Don't brutal your sister, Timmy!"


last.fm