#1
cover up your breasts, it makes me angry
her flesh is only a missed opportunity
when we met we shook hands then took it upon ourselves
to put logs on the fire while all the others retired to bed
a clash of wit mixing like dust with water
sinking and sitting until stirred in the summer
by kicking feet from kids like us.

we talked until it was time to take a walk
up to the porch where at the base of the steps
she started writing in the earth with her fingernails
"i was raped years ago"

a hug felt cheap, but i was broke and the gesture would be kind.
her mouth went to my neck, then mine to hers
but our restlessness began to shake the bottom of our depths
eyes closed, lips wide, i knew in the morning she would forget
what it had meant to me to feel trusted and loving
walking back, the stomps erased her silent dirty words
and in the white mountains, every morning still shivers like
she did years ago.
Quote by ottoavist

i suppose there's a chance
i'm just a litte too shallow to consider
that maybe i've been a little more eager
each day to wake up and take a shower
brush my teeth and smile for the mirror
Last edited by freshtunes at Aug 22, 2010,
#2
I was expecting a comedy song =p

Good lyrics but maybe change the name man
#6
I'd agree with the above-change the name. I really liked the dark, slightly unreal style of the writing...the tone is great, it feels like it's describing something quite intense in a strangely detached way. I was pretty impressed, the best lyrics I've ever seen on this website.
#7
title changed, "lay around and love in pajamas".
Quote by ottoavist

i suppose there's a chance
i'm just a litte too shallow to consider
that maybe i've been a little more eager
each day to wake up and take a shower
brush my teeth and smile for the mirror
Last edited by freshtunes at Aug 22, 2010,
#8
Stick to lyrics dude, your titles are awfull
On a serious note, really good lyrics! Nice and dark but very subtle.
Bought
Ibanez S520EX EMG 81+ 85
Boss MT-2
Weeping Demon Wah
To buy list
Dtech Whammy
Hughes & Kettner Trilogy
#9
I actually quite like the phrase "Lay around and love in pajamas", regardless of whether you intend it to be the new title or not. There's actually something quite beautiful about it...
#11
Re-titling work takes something away from it. I've never changed the title of any written piece, because the title is as much a part of the whole as the content.

I really loved this. Reminds me a lot of Dylan_'s work. Post more, I'm ravenous.
the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn


#12
impressssssssed.

minor things about it I would've changed, but otherwise- this was a nicely surprising read.
#14
this is bloody good. best thing i've seen on here in a while. change nothing.
--------------------i'm definitely the alphaest male here--------------------
#15
links please
Quote by ottoavist

i suppose there's a chance
i'm just a litte too shallow to consider
that maybe i've been a little more eager
each day to wake up and take a shower
brush my teeth and smile for the mirror