#1
I'm crawling through this life, waiting for someone to pick me up
I'm broken and scarred, and I think I've had enough
Love's not in the way of saying, "Don't you know", you gotta let her know
One thing I wish I could've learned a little earlier...

And now you're gone, and I'm all alone.
What happened to yesterday
When we were happy, and laughing at everything?
Come back tonight, I promise I'll find a way.
'Cause your my light, your my hope, what I'm looking for.
I need you I want you, I love you.
There I said it, these three words that are
Killing me tonight.

I think I'll pack my bags and go away from here.
'cause I lost you and losing you was my biggest fear.
Would it even matter if I told you that i do love you?
It seems time's stopped but you haven't and I don't know what to do
All i wanted was you...

And now you're gone, and I'm all alone.
What happened to yesterday
When we were happy, and laughing at everything?
Come back tonight, I promise I'll find a way.
'Cause your my light, your my hope, what I'm looking for.
I need you I want you, I love you.
There I said it, these three words that are
Killing me tonight.

These three words are killing me tonight.
#2
I'm crawling through this life, waiting for someone to pick me up
I'm broken and scarred, and I think I've had enough Really, not that ''scarred'' is really all that bad, but some more relatable imagry could really help this out, especially since it is the introductory stanza.
Love's not in the way of saying, "Don't you know", you gotta let her know This is one of those lines that don't flow well at all. We'll just try re-wording what you've alread have and see what that does...
''Don't you know?" Is not the the way of saying ''Love."
This isn't really the best wording of course, but this is just an exersice to see that sometimes rewording everything while writing to see what ways could make it sound better
One thing I wish I could've learned a little earlier... Reword

And now you're gone, and I'm all alone.
What happened to yesterday
When we were happy, and laughing at everything?
Come back tonight, I promise I'll find a way. It might just be me, but I thought it was her that is going somewhere, so it's her that needs to find a ''way"
'Cause your my light, your my hope, what I'm looking for. Cliche
I need you I want you, I love you.
There I said it, these three words that are
Killing me tonight. These last three lines were almost painfull and need rewritting at the very least

I think I'll pack my bags and go away from here. So you want her to come to you, but now your just leaving? Doesn't make any sense to me
'cause I lost you and losing you was my biggest fear. Rewrite
Would it even matter if I told you that i do love you?
It seems time's stopped but you haven't and I don't know what to do
All i wanted was you...
Eh... Really doesn't catch my attention

I am sorry if my critique sounds so cruel, but this is a really strict genre to work in. SO many people write in this genre and it's really hard to stand out using cliche wordings and stories. The only way that I've found to really get anything to work is meditation. Now meditation is just simple to sit there, and think only on your breathe, in and out and in and out and in. And you will have ideas and things going through your head the whole time and all your suppose to do is to awknowledge it and then forget about it. Then when you're feeling really relaxed, and you've had a few ideas come by, start writing down some of the ideas before forgetting. Though I've noticed it's hardly poetic, it's just ideas for different thing Keep on Writing
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