hey, i think your song is great. The vocals need a bit of work and in my opinion i think the vocal level should be up a little more in the beginning so that it stands out. but overall i think it was good =]
re-do the vocals. goes in and out of key alot. to be honest it seemed like u were recording it in ur bedroom trying to be really quiet so no one would hear. sing with more...idk...umph! haha. just project more i guess. if you fell unsure, it sounds that way
your guitar playing is great but i agree with impguitarist in regards to your vocals. your vocals should be louder and stronger.