Page 1 of 2
#1
Sometimes when it gets quiet, my past makes me sick to my stomach, and I know I'm not the only one.
What do you do to try to ignore your regrets, other than music?
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#2
Just find something to distract yourself, like video games.
Quote by lolmnt
We're better than Mexico cuz we rule USA USA USA
#5
Drinking is one of the causes of something that happened.
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#6
Just don't have regrets. What's in the past is in the past, you can't help it anymore.
Gear:
----------------------
Jack and Danny Brothers Ls-5
Ibanez Gsa 60
----------------------
Zoom g9.2tt (for sale (NL))
----------------------
Blackheart Little Giant
#7
Figure out how I'm going to make fewer mistakes in the future and not whine like a baby about it?
Q: Favourite Pink Floyd song?
A: The one where they get wicked high and play Emin and A for an hour.
#8
Quote by travislausch
Figure out how I'm going to make fewer mistakes in the future and not whine like a baby about it?


When did I whine? I just asked how you deal with yours.
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#9
like a man does.

denial.

then supression.
Ill Take it all
Arrows and Guns.. Hundreds and more


Save you from one
#10
I write it down and make a set of rules which ensures that I never make said mistake again.

Being friend-zoned: Solution - Have less friends.
The content of this signature is pretty much irrelevant
#11
Considering the general age group of the site, I'm going to assume that you, like me, are too young to have done something seriously horrible to regret(ie, killing someone intentionally or otherwise, rape, etc.), so I'll go ahead and give the advice that allowed me to come to terms with my own personal demons and allows me to keep going even when I screw up.

The past is done and dead. It can't be changed, it can't be fixed. But you can make the future better. No amount of regret is going to fix anything, and no amount of sadness is going to fix anything. What will fix things is learning from your mistakes, and, as corny as it sounds, dedicating yourself to making amends for the wrongs of the past and making those you wronged happy again, and putting on a genuine smile to keep those who care for you happy.

Again, I know it sounds corny, but it worked for me, and so far, it's been the truth for me. Hope it helps. If you need more, come visit the Hugging Thread, we're always happy to help.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#12
Convince myself that I was right all along, and keep moving.



edit: My mistakes often come back to haunt me. I can't date a gal without an ex-girlfriend coming up and saying, "He cheated on me!" or "He was a total dick to me!" or "He'll get drunk and break up with you for the coat-check girl at The Standard!"
Last edited by -[NiL]- at Aug 24, 2010,
#13
Quote by necrosis1193
Considering the general age group of the site, I'm going to assume that you, like me, are too young to have done something seriously horrible to regret(ie, killing someone intentionally or otherwise, rape, etc.), so I'll go ahead and give the advice that allowed me to come to terms with my own personal demons and allows me to keep going even when I screw up.

The past is done and dead. It can't be changed, it can't be fixed. But you can make the future better. No amount of regret is going to fix anything, and no amount of sadness is going to fix anything. What will fix things is learning from your mistakes, and, as corny as it sounds, dedicating yourself to making amends for the wrongs of the past and making those you wronged happy again, and putting on a genuine smile to keep those who care for you happy.

Again, I know it sounds corny, but it worked for me, and so far, it's been the truth for me. Hope it helps. If you need more, come visit the Hugging Thread, we're always happy to help.



I am young, but, well, I won't get into it.

Also, I went in the hugging thread and they said something along the lines of not being able to help if I don't tell them everything and all they can do is type a hug smiley every 15 seconds. But I feel like that's what I need, and I'm getting that from my girlfriend, who knows everything I've done. But I still want to be able to help myself.
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#14
I just deal with it. Life goes on, and it's not like you are the only person in the world with problems.
#15
Quote by adamrandall
When did I whine? I just asked how you deal with yours.

Not saying you did specifically, but the idea of worrying about regrets generally includes whining about it. It's kind of a pointless endeavor to worry so much about your regrets, because you can't change what happened. The only thing you can do is learn from experiences and move on and not worry about the past. The more you worry about the past, the more you come off as whiny about it, and the harder it is to actually deal with it.
Q: Favourite Pink Floyd song?
A: The one where they get wicked high and play Emin and A for an hour.
#16
Quote by adamrandall
I am young, but, well, I won't get into it.

Also, I went in the hugging thread and they said something along the lines of not being able to help if I don't tell them everything and all they can do is type a hug smiley every 15 seconds. But I feel like that's what I need, and I'm getting that from my girlfriend, who knows everything I've done. But I still want to be able to help myself.


There's the thing. You need to get it out, or it'll keep festering inside you until it comes out in the form of a complete emotional breakdown, which has happened to me once or twice. If you're lucky it'll be around people who know and/or love you who can try and pull you back out, and if you're not, well, it's not pretty, to say the least, and can end with suicide. Maybe not somewhere as public as UG, but try to get it out to someone?
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#17
Quote by travislausch
Not saying you did specifically, but the idea of worrying about regrets generally includes whining about it. It's kind of a pointless endeavor to worry so much about your regrets, because you can't change what happened. The only thing you can do is learn from experiences and move on and not worry about the past. The more you worry about the past, the more you come off as whiny about it, and the harder it is to actually deal with it.


Believe me, I get what you're saying. I just want to find some ways to not think about it so I don't have to whine and worry. I know I can't change it, but it doesn't mean I don't wish I could. Coming to terms with it isn't my forte.
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#18
Quote by necrosis1193
There's the thing. You need to get it out, or it'll keep festering inside you until it comes out in the form of a complete emotional breakdown

Very much, extremely this.

That's usually the first step towards tackling your worries and regrets in a positive and constructive manner.
Q: Favourite Pink Floyd song?
A: The one where they get wicked high and play Emin and A for an hour.
#19
Quote by necrosis1193
There's the thing. You need to get it out, or it'll keep festering inside you until it comes out in the form of a complete emotional breakdown, which has happened to me once or twice. If you're lucky it'll be around people who know and/or love you who can try and pull you back out, and if you're not, well, it's not pretty, to say the least, and can end with suicide. Maybe not somewhere as public as UG, but try to get it out to someone?



It's already out to everyone it needs to be out to. I've already had the breakdowns. Now it's just the after-'what the **** was I thinking?'
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#20
Duct tape.
. . ▄████▄ . ▄███▄
. █████████▀ . . . . . . . . . . . . ▄▄
.███▌█|█|█|█|█|█|█|█|█|█▐███▄▄
. ████████▄ . . . . . . . . . . . . . º º º º º º º
. . ▀████▀. ▀██▀
#21
Quote by adamrandall
Believe me, I get what you're saying. I just want to find some ways to not think about it so I don't have to whine and worry. I know I can't change it, but it doesn't mean I don't wish I could. Coming to terms with it isn't my forte.

Honestly, the first step is getting it out. Talk to someone about it. Then realize what you can do to prevent the same mistakes in the future, and do it. It really is that simple.

Remember, it's all about finding positive and productive ways of learning from your regrets. And it's a lot easier to come to terms with them than you might think.
Q: Favourite Pink Floyd song?
A: The one where they get wicked high and play Emin and A for an hour.
#22
Quote by adamrandall
It's already out to everyone it needs to be out to. I've already had the breakdowns. Now it's just the after-'what the **** was I thinking?'


So you had a lapse of judgement and did something stupid. We've all done that plenty of times. Like I said, just getting depressed about it and feeling bad isn't going to make it better. Making amends in every way you can and carrying on to fix what you did and try to make others happy can, depending on the thing.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#23
Quote by necrosis1193
So you had a lapse of judgement and did something stupid. We've all done that plenty of times. Like I said, just getting depressed about it and feeling bad isn't going to make it better. Making amends in every way you can and carrying on to fix what you did and try to make others happy can, depending on the thing.


What if someone else needs to come to terms with it? Someone involved, who isn't me, but someone who now has trouble trusting me because of everything I've done, and it makes it harder to forgive myself?
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#24
Quote by adamrandall
What if someone else needs to come to terms with it? Someone involved, who isn't me, but someone who now has trouble trusting me because of everything I've done, and it makes it harder to forgive myself?


That's where the making amends part comes in. Feeling bad won't make them feel better, nor will saying sorry. "Sorry" is a promise to make things right when I offer it in real-life, and nowadays a lot of people use it as a way of saying "I feel really bad, can you make me feel less bad?" But to me, making amends isn't saying you're sorry and just leaving it at that, and hoping they forgive you. It's going out of your way to make things better for those wronged, to prevent what happened from happening again, to become the opposite of what you were.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#25
Quote by adamrandall
What if someone else needs to come to terms with it? Someone involved, who isn't me, but someone who now has trouble trusting me because of everything I've done, and it makes it harder to forgive myself?

If that's the case, do what you can to improve the situation between you two, but if it can't be done, move on, and learn from the mistake you made and take any action you need to in order to make sure it doesn't happen again, and take some comfort in the fact that you know you're not going to repeat the same mistake.
Q: Favourite Pink Floyd song?
A: The one where they get wicked high and play Emin and A for an hour.
#26
I don't want to "feel less bad" until I know I deserve to. Just so I can explain, it's my girlfriend. She's there for me, but it seems like even though I'm doing everything I can to be the opposite of what I was, she can't trust me as much as she did.
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#27
Quote by adamrandall
I don't want to "feel less bad" until I know I deserve to. Just so I can explain, it's my girlfriend. She's there for me, but it seems like even though I'm doing everything I can to be the opposite of what I was, she can't trust me as much as she did.


Right there is another problem. You're letting your desire for punishment get in the way of your progression. Some of us want to be punished when we do something truly wrong. Granted most people wouldn't say they want to pay the ticket when they get caught speeding, but some people wouldn't feel right until the new one was bought on their bill if they broke someone's chair.

This is a good thing; It can be seen to mean that you can put yourself in someone else's shoes and you have a convicted sense of morality. But at the same time, it's getting in the way. You deserve to. Simple as that. Someone who is moping about is never going to be as useful or effective as someone who's happy about what they're doing.

As for the rest, that's going to be how it is for a while. Trust and respect are hard to earn and easy to lose. You're going to have to work a while to get back to where you were, no way around it. But there's no other way, and that's just how it is. There's no magic fix or a do-over button. But being sad about it is going to do fuck-all, I know I keep saying this, but what's going to fix it is action, not remorse.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#28
I didn't mean I deserve to feel bad. I mean, I feel remorse, but I just meant I don't want her to really accept my apology until I'm acting on it and not just saying sorry like you said.
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#29
You know what Necrosis, I'mma let you take the rest of this thread, cause I'm actually learning from you too.
Q: Favourite Pink Floyd song?
A: The one where they get wicked high and play Emin and A for an hour.
#30
Quote by travislausch
You know what Necrosis, I'mma let you take the rest of this thread, cause I'm actually learning from you too.


Always glad to be a help.

Quote by adamrandall
I didn't mean I deserve to feel bad. I mean, I feel remorse, but I just meant I don't want her to really accept my apology until I'm acting on it and not just saying sorry like you said.


Then start acting on it. It's as simple as that. In the end nothing is preventing you from doing so but you. I'm not trying to put the burden on your shoulders, I'm trying to make it clear that if you want to act on your apology before she accepts, then start acting on it.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#31
I have been acting on it. I guess I'm just looking for immediate gratification. It's not for selfish reasons though. I want her happy, and I know she can trust me but she can't see into my head.
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#32
Quote by necrosis1193

Then start acting on it. It's as simple as that. In the end nothing is preventing you from doing so but you. I'm not trying to put the burden on your shoulders, I'm trying to make it clear that if you want to act on your apology before she accepts, then start acting on it.


TRANSLATION: touch her womanly parts
Last edited by axethrower13 at Aug 24, 2010,
#33
Quote by adamrandall
I have been acting on it. I guess I'm just looking for immediate gratification. It's not for selfish reasons though. I want her happy, and I know she can trust me but she can't see into my head.


Then be patient. Respect is like a flame made with flint; It's hard earned, and easily lost. But the only way to get it back is to try all over again. It's going to take a while. But you're sincere, so I have no doubt in the world you'll be able to do it no matter how much effort it takes. Again, like I said, it'll take a while, but you're going to have to grit your teeth and bear with it.

Quote by axethrower13
TRANSLATION: touch her womanly parts


Normally I'd laugh, but come on man, he needs some help.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
Last edited by necrosis1193 at Aug 24, 2010,
#34
Quote by necrosis1193
Then be patient. Respect is like a flame made with flint; It's hard earned, and easily lost. But the only way to get it back is to try all over again. It's going to take a while. But you're sincere, so I have no doubt in the world you'll be able to do it no matter how much effort it takes. Again, like I said, it'll take a while, but you're going to have to grit your teeth and bear with it.


Normally I'd laugh, but come on man, he needs some help.



Thanks man. Your constantly positive outlook really helps. I'll let you know how this goes.
Godin LG Signature
Samick UM-3
Ibanez Exotic Wood Series Acoustic- Burled Maple
Ibanez Artcore AWD-82
Ibanez ART-300
G&L Tribute series S-500
Squier Bullet special
Cameo Hollowbody
SX tele with neck p90

Peavey XXX Super 40 EFX
#35
Quote by niels-uiterwaal
Just don't have regrets. What's in the past is in the past, you can't help it anymore.



This.

I have no regrets, shit happens, get on with it. My dad always says "it's water under the boat". It's gone, done, move forward.
No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable


@gossage91
@overtimefitnessau
#37
I do regret the mistakes I have made in the past, but I know that I will/have learn/ed from these mistakes. So, IMO making mistakes is not a bad thing.
Quote by Kensai
You'll find whisky very different, but try it and you'll grow into it, soon you and whisky are one, but still two, lovers dancing across a frozen lake under moonlight, wrapped in honey and warmth.


Sums up whisky perfectly
#38
Quote by adamrandall
I don't want to "feel less bad" until I know I deserve to. Just so I can explain, it's my girlfriend. She's there for me, but it seems like even though I'm doing everything I can to be the opposite of what I was, she can't trust me as much as she did.

Really? This your big issue?


She didn't break up with you, it can't possibly be that bad. Just move on, stop being such a downer and rebuild her trust again. Do your best to be the guy she hopes for you to be.

Or you could break up with her. Or stay unhappy forever. These are your options.
Quote by BeefWellington

what's the point in being "philiosophical"?

Interesting question...
Page 1 of 2