#1
ok so this is my first complete song that ive written..please comment....


Is this Love?!
So Futile and weak?
Hearts beating, just barely, Under the weight of my hand!
You said you loved me, I know you lied.
You face shows honesty but your eyes show your true intentions!


Chorus-
Dig the Grave, Dump the body.
Your life ends at the point of a Shovel!

Burried in a grave of corruption.
Blood no longer flows to the brain.
Your face forever etched in my eyes.
Your blood stains my hands, but your death sets me free!

Chorus-
Dig the Grave, Dump the Body.
Your life ends and the point of a shovel
*repeat 1X*

*Solo*

*Breakdown*
Dig the grave....
Dig the grave...
Dig the grave...
Give me your last breath!!
*repeat 2x*

Ending/fade out
Dig...
Dig...
Dig..
Give me your last breath!!
*repeat 3x/fade out*

C4C
WHISKEY
TANGO
FOXTROT
#3
ok its good but just rhyme it bit and also the last line of verse1 is too long so make it short so it fits. the rest is cool, keep on writing
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I write poetry
And it sucks.