Hey guys I need a little help for my english class, if you guys could proofread my rough draft.

I took out all the names and changed the name of one person. If this is against the rules please delete this thread quickly, if not, please be serious. You shouldn't find to much wrong but eh.

Preaching the Good Word
I’ve been going to First Baptist Church of (left out for my safety) for about a year now, and of all the churches I’ve attended, this church only one that has really lived out the biggest part of Christianity, the single most important part. When Jesus was on trial and he was being asked what his most important commandment was, he said love. Of all his commandments the biggest one is love, and the biggest way to love someone is to talk to them about Christ. The Gospel According to Mark 16:15 says: “Go forth into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.” This commandment is one of the hardest things to do as a Christian because it brings the most “eyes” onto you. People are more likely to watch you and call you on things you do wrong just because you talk about God.
Well, I had been going to this church for awhile, so when the Pastor and church staff asked me to run the soundboard for Vacation Bible School, I was more than happy to oblige. I had my headphones on and I had the music in the player all I had to do was press play. I hit the play button and away the music went, a happy tune about a place named Saddle Ridge Ranch. The moment I turned on the music and the happy childish tune began to play, all the teenagers got up and left. I chuckled, popped my small ear buds into my ears so that I could tune out the Western styled music, and I waited for a visual cue from the youth leader to kill the music. I propped up my feet and waited a few minutes. A small moment passed and then a long-haired Mexican kid walked into the sound room. His name was Ricky but we all just called him “Brotha” Beans.
“I don’t know about all this stuff,” Beans said with a solemn tone.
After talking to him for awhile, we concluded that having all the kids at this church for a function in which the goal is to get them saved might not be a good thing. They could all just be getting “saved” and not actually be talking to God. The biggest punch in the gut any Christian can get from the Devil and a sure ticket to hell is false salvation. A lot of Christians get “saved” at a young age and think they’re good for there whole lives, but they don’t live for God because they never truly accepted Christ, they just sort of said some words and prayed a “prayer”.
Here’s a little back story on Beans. Ricky’s family is Catholic and lives in Georgia. He was in Florida for only a short visit to his uncle. When he got here, we instantly got him to go to church and become part of the youth group, even if it was only for a few weeks. Just like what happened to me, Beans fell instantly in love with the group because we treated him not as a kid, but as family and as a brother. So Beans and I were pretty close.
“Have you ever asked God into your heart?” I inquired.
“I’ve always been told I haven’t had to, that good works will get me to heaven” he answered.
I told him not through works can man achieve his grace, but through our Lord’s sacrifice alone. We talked for a long while about God. Eventually, Beans said he wanted to accept Christ, but he didn’t know how.
I located (Friend of mine), and older member of our youth who still has scars from his past life of drugs, alcohol, and piercings, and also (Deacon man), a deacon who has shown a great interest in the young people’s lives. Together, we all spoke to Ricky, taking him outside where it was a little bit quieter, after I found someone to sit in for me on the soundboard, of course.
We spoke to Ricky about God, about His love and about how God wants only to see us in his home. God wants nothing more than to someday say, “Come, child, into my home.” Given my own personal commitment and love for God, along with (Friend of Mine) and (Deacon Man)’s love for God, our love was shown through to Ricky, Ricky could see that God’s love and our love shines. The Bible says we are to be candles unto the darkness, the darkness being that which is unsaved.
When we spoke to him, we let him know he needs God in his life, and anyone who doesn’t accept him will go to hell. We showed him the scripture where it says so, and we showed him the Bible verses that say not through works but God’s son, Jesus Christ, can man get to heaven. Salvation is part of the New Covenant, the new contract God made with man when he sent Jesus as a living sacrifice.
Ricky asked God into his heart and the moment he did, Ricky glowed. Ricky didn’t actually glow, of course, but Gods love had shown through him. He had what I had and what Drew and Larry had. With giant tears of joy running down his face, he wrapped his arms around me and said, “Thank you,(Me). Thank you for talking to me.”
In essence he was saying thank you, Ian, for asking one simple question:
Have you accepted Christ into your heart?
I havn't changed this thing in a year.

No this is a real occurence but given the religous tolerance of the Pitt I didn't think it'd be that big a deal for you guys to be the regular grammar nazis you are and help me with my work.
I havn't changed this thing in a year.


Too much 'God', didn't read.
Quote by Pleasure2kill
The truth is, Muslims never apologized for their faith having something to do with the attacks on 9/11.
Then why post in the first place?

Edit: Resuci-post. I would really like this thing proofread, I don't need to know about your religous beliefs, I just know most of you guys are religously tolerant and mega grammar nazis sooooo...
I havn't changed this thing in a year.

Last edited by wowsux at Aug 29, 2010,
I know I'm not supposed to double post and it's a thread lockable offense but I guess my edit didn't bump it. I would like a little bit of feedback on this guys.
I havn't changed this thing in a year.

Wont the lecturer be looking at it if it's a rough essay only?

"The mind is its own place, and in itself

Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n"

- John Milton, Paradise Lost
Yes, but the grade will be higher if she doesn't have to do as much with fixing it.

And no, I did a search, their isn't a thread relating to fixing one anothers work. This isn't religous, this is strictly me looking for grammatical help.
I havn't changed this thing in a year.