#1
I'll follow guitar_jew's actions and make a thread for my contest song as well. Enjoy and leave a link and if time allows it I'll try to return an equal crit!

Thanks, <3
Attachments:
tts.zip
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.
#2
I really enjoyed this song man. You ever think of recording it? If you ever do message me about it. I would really like to hear the finished product. The only gripe I really found in this was during the break, particularly in the start-stop guitar riff, It just seemed like it needed a little more "oomph." Other than that though, great song!
The clock strikes midnight
When tomorrow and today collide
The moon is at its highest
And the twilight seems fitting
For in these moments
The light at the end of the world
Shines like a thousand suns....


Victor Gutierrez
#3
I think you can remove 18 - 33. Drags out the intro a bit much for me.

I liked those breaks with the lead.

Can't really think of much else that you would need to change. It's pretty straight forward, reminded of A Day To Remeber A Bit, but with catchy lyrics it should be solid
Last edited by 21Fretter at Aug 28, 2010,
#4
Critting as I go for a change.

The intro is fairly solid. While some people say it drags out for too long, I think you really remedied that by changing up the lead line in the second half.

The break in drums in the bridge really worked, and the lead back into the full band riff with good too. The chorus at 68, I noticed you used some variation in the drums and things compared to previously, nice job, it really works here in this case.

The "dunno" section - in the last bar the build into the chorus seems to drag ever so slightly. While I would cut it down to a 3/4 personally, I'm sure in the context of the song you don't want to be messing with time sigs. In this case I would take out the last eighth note worth of stuff in all parts for that bar, and end what is left with a good hard snare hit. It would probably make things far snappier perhaps, and "clear the air" so to speak, before the chorus lead comes it, so the chords don't get to mixed up in themselves

[and by that I'm not talking dissonance cus there isn't any naturally but I mean in terms of feeling... you know what I'm getting at? well the lead of the concert band I'm in uses the clearing the air speech all the time. makes sense to me at least xD haha]

Anyway the bass and lead in the break is fabulous! and that calmer bit that follows.. good choice and lovely lead in to the climax. Not so sure about the placement of a breakdown after this, but that is probably a person choice thing, as its pulled of perfectly for what it is and works nicely as a outro. You should keep it haha. Don't listen to me.

So I don't have too many gripes about this, and its and all round solid piece, just the one thing I mentioned above. good job!

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1356034

or if you don't fancy listening to something of that style I should have another piece on the first page that is more along the lines of post hardcore called "Paoro".

Feel free to check out whatever.
Last edited by Of_Wolves at Aug 29, 2010,
#5
The bridge and verse for this is incredible. It has just the right punch to it that makes it really catchy and it flows very will into the chorus. The chorus is really catching. the bass line in the break is really good and that Climax at the end is definitely right on. The tapping part is really awesome, flows very well into the breakdown. great song, 9/10
#7
I think it was awesome! I'd love to hear the vocals to it. Drums were solid and I loved the variation of cymbals to accent the song. I'm honestly a bit lazy when it comes to that and stick to the basics. haha. I'm looking forward to checking it out fully recorded and hearing vocals to it. Do you have a band myspace or something?

I especially like the lead in that one "DUNNO" segment. haha. I like the patterns on that break/bridge. Really cool. Digging it a lot man! Props! Really clean.

Mind sharing the love and giving me some constructive criticism on my stuff?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1358380
#8
The intro to this was good. It wasn't outstanding, but it worked well. Reminded me a little bit of some of It Prevails' stuff for some reason. Maybe it's just the 4 - 0 progression.

The next riff was good, seemed to drag a little bit, but flowed well with the drums. The octaves at the end of it made it good.

Call me strange but I really liked that little link you put in there at bar 65, worked really well.

The part titled "dunno" was good when the second guitar came in, i think you should have maybe turned it to clean at first, and used bigger/prettier chords, and then when the second guitar comes in, turn to distortion.

I really liked the bassline in the Break.

The climax was definitely the best part, and so it should be! But very well done with when it all cuts out and slows. Very effective.

I really liked it.

Also that one bar 191 at the end was sweet.
#9
Reminded me of the newer Saosin, in a good way. Didn't like the drumming during Verse (screamed) think it might be the ride and bass-drum pattern, but the "Cleans in" Section fixed that. The "Dunno" break was good, I'd keep that. The chorus is great and all, high pitched Sao-style vocals wold fit so great. The final Break worked great. The Climax was perfect. Not sure of what i think of bars 184-198, I'd have to hear it with vocals to make up my mind.

All in all, solid song. Only had minor dislikes. I would love to hear a recorded version of this with vocals (: so if you ever get that done leave me a message.

C4C Stars to live by plz (: