#1
So this all came together in a day, I had a lot of riffs left around and all of the extensions, solo, and merging came yesterday. It's kind of prog-rock, but no time signature changes or anything. Enjoy

This is also my first attempt at attaching a .zip file, so please don't hate me if it fails.

C4C

Edit: Panned, so listen with headphones. New version after 2 crits.
Attachments:
C#MinorEpic.zip

I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
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Last edited by WyvernOmega at Aug 28, 2010,
#2
Prog is generally repetitive, which I think this piece has in spades. That's not a knock on your song. The pre-verse (bar 49 specifically) and the verse are great, but the extraneous syncopated chordage is just so unnecessary. I didn't feel that it add anything to the song.

Hell, I would suggest getting rid of all that nonsense, stick to the groovin verse riff, make the transition to the chorus a bit stronger, and transition back to the verse more relevant.
What I mean by that is removing the backing line that permeates the verse riff (on track 2) and then playing some ringing notes that relate to the chordage, be it in a dissonant or consonant manner.

Breakdown is very hit and miss. The distorted guitars didn't mix well with the keyboard/synth at first. There was a lack of concrete direction. It's as if the song itself was confused as to what was going to happen next.

Harmony riff as well. There are some spots that just get it right, but then it starts to veer off course. I guess just work making the leads a bit more digestible.
Ah, Harmony riff is good.
It's the solo section I have a problem with. Bar 243, with that G#/D double stop. It sounds very ugly, especially in the context of this section.
Why is it even there? And the lead as well. Sounds very gray and dull. Nothing redeeming about it.
The rest of the solo is fitting, but that one bar throws it off.

You know how I feel about the remaining 2 sections.

Ending is a bit abrupt. Minor issue, but I think a longer ring out would definite the song more.
The answer is always to ring out!

If you are to record this, I would cut alot of the fat off of it (in terms of length) and strengthen the drums. I was assuming the whole time that the drums you have on here are just placeholders for the time being.

Nice effort, but it could be significantly improved.
#3
Quote by huevos
Prog is generally repetitive, which I think this piece has in spades. That's not a knock on your song. The pre-verse (bar 49 specifically) and the verse are great, but the extraneous syncopated chordage is just so unnecessary. I didn't feel that it add anything to the song.

Hell, I would suggest getting rid of all that nonsense, stick to the groovin verse riff, make the transition to the chorus a bit stronger, and transition back to the verse more relevant.
What I mean by that is removing the backing line that permeates the verse riff (on track 2) and then playing some ringing notes that relate to the chordage, be it in a dissonant or consonant manner.

Breakdown is very hit and miss. The distorted guitars didn't mix well with the keyboard/synth at first. There was a lack of concrete direction. It's as if the song itself was confused as to what was going to happen next.

Harmony riff as well. There are some spots that just get it right, but then it starts to veer off course. I guess just work making the leads a bit more digestible.
Ah, Harmony riff is good.
It's the solo section I have a problem with. Bar 243, with that G#/D double stop. It sounds very ugly, especially in the context of this section.
Why is it even there? And the lead as well. Sounds very gray and dull. Nothing redeeming about it.
The rest of the solo is fitting, but that one bar throws it off.

You know how I feel about the remaining 2 sections.

Ending is a bit abrupt. Minor issue, but I think a longer ring out would definite the song more.
The answer is always to ring out!

If you are to record this, I would cut alot of the fat off of it (in terms of length) and strengthen the drums. I was assuming the whole time that the drums you have on here are just placeholders for the time being.

Nice effort, but it could be significantly improved.

Thank you so much for your in-depth criticism, it's people like you that help a lot.

I've cut out the un-needed chordage stuff, and I agree the odd harmony on the second guitar was just random banter which wasn't really needed either.

I don't really understand what you mean with the breakdown being confused.

What parts veer off in the harmony riff? The solo is supposed to have moments of tension/release, and why is the lead dull?

Sorry if I seem defensive or overly interrogative, but you being the only critter, I need to know more!

(Also, I'm not a drummer, so I will get my band's drummer to help me out with the part.)

I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
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#4
I for one, lOved the 1:09 riffage that came in haha it's sick.

The intro was a little unnecessary for me, the buildup I think you were going for was sort of lost in translation. It didn't add to the rest of song really.

At 2:10 I liked the pick up and how it flowed, but the build up part you went back to for the 3rd time, ruined the momentum. I'd put more space between the times you use it.

4:08, I enjoy the clapping percussion and the synth. Very nice touch there.

In the riff inside that part, I wasn't a fan of the dissonance you used, but that's personal opinion entirely.

Overall, great! That was fun to listen to!
#5
Quote by blake1221
I for one, lOved the 1:09 riffage that came in haha it's sick.

The intro was a little unnecessary for me, the buildup I think you were going for was sort of lost in translation. It didn't add to the rest of song really.

At 2:10 I liked the pick up and how it flowed, but the build up part you went back to for the 3rd time, ruined the momentum. I'd put more space between the times you use it.

4:08, I enjoy the clapping percussion and the synth. Very nice touch there.

In the riff inside that part, I wasn't a fan of the dissonance you used, but that's personal opinion entirely.

Overall, great! That was fun to listen to!

Wow, I forgot to put the new version in my post, even though I had hours . I fixed some of the things you said, I'll edit it in now

I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
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#6
I thought the intro was quite cool after all the instruments came in, the mix of dissonance and consonance worked well I thought. Going into the pre-verse, I didn't like both guitar riffs at the same time. I feel they both work well on their own, but for some reason I don't like both of them together. I feel Bar 49 is where it's at, where the piece really gets rocking. You should probably get to this part as soon as possible, it's awesome.

Chorus 1 is nice, and provides a nice melodic feel which contrasts to the verse. In pre-verse 2, I reckon you should just have the "Baylee Neck Distorted" riff playing by itself without the other riff underneath it. Second verse is as good as the first, however not much has changed, the same with Chorus 2. Maybe a small change (in the drums perhaps?) so the parts aren't exactly the same.

In the bridge, I like the idea of having the bass drum and claps, but I think the cymbals are a bit out of place here. I really like the "breakdown riff" with the synths. Harmony riff is awesome, except I don't like the bends on the 16s. I liked the feel of the constant eights notes.

"Bringing it Back", I have the same opinion I had before. I'd prefer the Neck Distorted riff on its own. The drum fill into chorus 3 is very nice.

Overall you've done a very nice job, well done.
New To Town With A Made Up Name

In The Angel's City

Chasing Fortune And Fame
09/03/2012
#7
Pretty great song imo. Like the build up in the intro. The verse riff is absolutely awesome. I dont like how the chords on one guitar are louder than the riff. When both guitars start playing it the riffs at its best. The breakdowns good, like the piano riff but its repetitive. Maybe have some variation every 4th bar or something. Harmony riff is cool. In the solo that triplet lick is cool, but imo the solo's too short. It would be good if the song had a proper outro section as well. Also it would be good if the song had another, more harder hitting solo, since the current one is like really happy sounding. Actually, maybe combine those last 2 crits and ened it with a another solo (Maybe use that verse riff as the backing for it)

Overall a pretty great song.

Mind checking out my song?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1356563
It's called Fake Tan and Faker Hair
Musical Theatre! *jazz hands*


...what am I doing on this site...
#8
Quote by MetaIronForce
Pretty great song imo. Like the build up in the intro. The verse riff is absolutely awesome. I dont like how the chords on one guitar are louder than the riff. When both guitars start playing it the riffs at its best. The breakdowns good, like the piano riff but its repetitive. Maybe have some variation every 4th bar or something. Harmony riff is cool. In the solo that triplet lick is cool, but imo the solo's too short. It would be good if the song had a proper outro section as well. Also it would be good if the song had another, more harder hitting solo, since the current one is like really happy sounding. Actually, maybe combine those last 2 crits and ened it with a another solo (Maybe use that verse riff as the backing for it)

Overall a pretty great song.

Mind checking out my song?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1356563

It's called Fake Tan and Faker Hair

No problem at all.

Thank you so much for the crits and compliments guys, it's people that care that makes me want to write.

I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
none
#9
Quote by WyvernOmega
No problem at all.

Thank you so much for the crits and compliments guys, it's people that care that makes me want to write.



D'awwwwww how noble.

I do it for the hookers.
#10
Quote by blake1221
D'awwwwww how noble.

I do it for the hookers.

Music won't get the hookers I wanna buy

I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
none