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#1
for example:

Q: why did the girl rock divorce the boy rock
A: Because he took her for GRANITE!

Q: Why do sharks swim in salt water
A: because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Q: Why are frogs so happy.
A: Because they eat anything that BUGS them!

Q: What place do dogs hate to go most.
A: The FLEA market!

Q: Whats a snakes favorite subject.
A: Hisss-tory
#3
Q: Why aren't bass solos lively?
A: Cause half the notes are dead.
There's no such thing; there never was. Where I am going you cannot follow me now.
#4
Q: Why doesn't H3r_piNk_TaCo use question marks at the end of his questions?
A: He failed grammar class in the 10th grade.


Seriously, dude, considering there is no grammar class in the 10th grade, please use the following symbol when applicable: ?. There, not too hard.
#5
Women's Rights
Quote by Nomack
Next hendrix is like a a sidesplitting triumph of slapstick and scatology, a runaway moneymaker and budding franchise, the worst thing to happen to Kazakhstan since the Mongol hordes, and, a communist.


This is my sig!
#6
Why did the drummer get on his IQ test?

Drool
Quote by AgentWiggles
Thanks, douche.


Quote by SlayingDragons
Dude...



Gear:
Ibanez SZ 520QM
Ibanez RG 450DXB
Fender Big Apple Stratocaster
Pod XT Live
Peavey XXX Half Stack
Peavey Bandit 112
and a soul of Rock n' Roll
#7
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
Q: Why doesn't H3r_piNk_TaCo use question marks at the end of his questions?
A: He failed grammar class in the 10th grade.


Seriously, dude, considering there is no grammar class in the 10th grade, please use the following symbol when applicable: ?. There, not too hard.

#8
Quote by Next Hendrix
Women's Rights


Ha! It's funny because they have no rights!

Last edited by tyler_j at Aug 28, 2010,
#9
Quote by tyler_j
Ha! It's funny because they have no rights!



Women have no rights? You chauvinist pig!! Women can work the same jobs as men for the same pay and still come home and make me sandwiches and clean my house. Feminism FTW!!!
Quote by Nomack
Next hendrix is like a a sidesplitting triumph of slapstick and scatology, a runaway moneymaker and budding franchise, the worst thing to happen to Kazakhstan since the Mongol hordes, and, a communist.


This is my sig!
#11
does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

how was copper wier invented?
two jews fought over a penny
Quote by stratdud39

i just facepalmed your facepalm


Quote by whalepudding
Hitler has been a villain in more films and ruined more hairstyles by association alone than any other suggestions.
#13
This is better spoken than written, and is great for a few groans:

"What does a house wear?"

"Address." Do not accent the A when pronouncing it.
Battling FC: 0259 8373 3725
#17
ur mom

- in response to anything and everything
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#18
Q. Why doesn't darth vader make toast?

A. Cause it always comes out a little on the dark side...
❒ Taken ❒ Single ✔ Would like a sandwich


Vereor Deus

Quote by dann_blood
Branding!?!? THAT'S TOO PROGRESSIVE! I say bring back settlement payments in weights of lead and impalement upon wooden stakes!


Quote by Doctor Matthews
Oh! Sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
#19
I had a good joke about salad, but I tossed it.

I had a good joke about crap, but i flushed it.

I had a joke about cheese, but it stunk.
#20
Quote by H3r_piNk_TaCo
for example:

Q: why did the girl rock divorce the boy rock
A: Because he took her for GRANITE!

Q: Why do sharks swim in salt water
A: because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Q: Why are frogs so happy.
A: Because they eat anything that BUGS them!

Q: What place do dogs hate to go most.
A: The FLEA market!

Q: Whats a snakes favorite subject.
A: Hisss-tory


you got those from laffy taffy wrappers didn't you?
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#21
Q: Why can't John drive a car?

A: John is a stone.
Gear:
----------------------
Jack and Danny Brothers Ls-5
Ibanez Gsa 60
----------------------
Zoom g9.2tt (for sale (NL))
----------------------
Blackheart Little Giant
#22
Q: A chicken and a monkey were sitting in a tree. When the monkey jumped down, so did the chicken. Why?


A: BECAUSE THE CHICKEN WAS STAPLED TO THE MONKEY
Quote by pielover375
So last year, I put some potatoes in this jar and forgot about them. Today, I found them, and when I opened the jar, there is a puddle at the bottom and it smells like alcohol. If I drink this, do you think I will die, or have I made potato vodka?
#23
what do you get when you mix a brown chiken with a brown cow?

a porno!

brownchiken brown coooowwwww (bow-chika bow woooow)
no sir away a papaya war is on
#24
A man walked into a bar, and said ouch.
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


Quote by ilikepirates
ilikeyou.

not hated
#25
Quote by niels-uiterwaal
Q: Why can't John drive a car?

A: John is a stone.



Thanks alot, I just pissed my pants laughing
#26
What's the difference between a baby and a chair?

I don't saw off the legs of a chair and shove them up my ass...
#27
Quote by AJSaw
Thanks alot, I just pissed my pants laughing


Works everytime I tell him
Gear:
----------------------
Jack and Danny Brothers Ls-5
Ibanez Gsa 60
----------------------
Zoom g9.2tt (for sale (NL))
----------------------
Blackheart Little Giant
#28
Quote by ratracekid111
Q. Why doesn't darth vader make toast?

A. Cause it always comes out a little on the dark side...



that's racist bro
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#30
Quote by the_perdestrian
what do you get when you mix a brown chiken with a brown cow?

a porno!

brownchiken brown coooowwwww (bow-chika bow woooow)



wtf
#33
Quote by the_perdestrian
what do you get when you mix a brown chiken with a brown cow?

a porno!

brownchiken brown coooowwwww (bow-chika bow woooow)

This made me crack up It's terrible, but funny
#34
If Hooters did delivery, would they be called Knockers?
E-married to ilikepirates

Quote by bloodtrocuted93

How are you so fucking awesome at music?


>¦<
¦
#36
Quote by Sean-Man
Why did the drummer get on his IQ test?

Drool

xD. I lol'd.
Quote by BobDetroit
Directions:
Unplug keyboard.
Place it in your butt so you can't post anymore.


Quote by Fadetoblack5:03
You deserve some form of awesome reward, but I'm to lazy. Imagine the rest of these:


#37
I read all of the Mitch Hedberg quotes and the longest joke in the world, wow I'm a loser.
Quote by Zaphod_Beeblebr
Theory is descriptive, not prescriptive.


Quote by MiKe Hendryckz
theory states 1+1=2 sometimes in music 1+1=3.
#38
Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the batmobile?
A: Get in the batmobile!

Q: What do you call an arabic man flying a plane?
A: A pilot.

Edit: I just read the longest joke in the world.
All I can say is:
Last edited by Blitz93 at Aug 29, 2010,
#39
we had a similar thread earlier, it got closed.

*reported*
Quote by vivalasteve
This one time, I was...erm...orgasming...but nonstop. It just wouldn't stop and, without being too graphic, basically was like how the blood was coming out of your mouth, then I got dehydrated and died. True story.
#40
"I was watching TV the other when a commercial came on telling me to forget everything I knew about sponges. So I did and then they started selling their sponges and I had no idea what they were."
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