Was feeling bored. scanning the UG and was bored. so heres the worst joke ever in my opinion.

"2 fish were talking with each other. one of the fish asked the other fish "why dont we live on the earth?"
the 2nd fish replied "because earth is not for fish. earth is for selfish"
a part of me died after hearing that.

lets see what you guys got.
what is brown and sticky.................????

a stick
Epiphone LP Standard Honeyburst, Stagg Custom Job
Relic'd Tele, Carlsbro GLX30
Frontman 25R, Zoom G1X
Dunlop SW-95, Danelectro DTB-1
Behringer VT999

Quote by obeythepenguin
Damn, that was fast. AlexW1989, thanks to you I can finally get to sleep again at night...
I went on that once-in-a-lifetime holiday everyone was talking about... Never again.
Me: Hey, I feel like this thread has been done and done and rehashed over and over again

You: Oh, well post stuff anyways.

I guess that is a pretty bad joke.
<3 Beardfish

Quote by 'Leviathan'
I love you so much.

whats the animal that always hits its head on things???

DOG! *say it like its the sound of your head hitting the ceiling*

you have to admit that is one of the worst jokes ever lol
Did you hear about the fight in the chip shop last night?

2 fish got battered!
Actually, i quite like this joke.
Quote by uk.mace
This man is smart.

Quote by guitar-guy69
you spelt colors wrong

Tweet me bro.
A man walks into a bar, sits down and looks at the bartender.

"What'll you 'ave, mate?" asks the bartender.

"An ale" says the man.

The bartender then turned around, dropped his pants and bent over.

"That'll be 2.50".
Who's got the biggest hat in the world?

The man with the biggest head....

Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize?

He was out-standing in his field....
This thread is the worst joke ever
Quote by jrcsgtpeppers

If women can be annoyed there arent any women incongress I should be allowed to be pissed off there are no members of pink floyd or the beatles in congress.
I didn't like genital fungus at first, but now it's really growing on me.
heres one. this is just a lame joke i made to a friend a few days ago. she laughed her ass off but still its kinda messed up.

Girl: Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey
Me: Wow you said so many heys that i had to make a heystack. :P
One from my old DT teacher:

"What's grey and can't climb trees?"


"A car park"

Quote by Stormx
I tremble before your enormous penis.
Quote by molala2
and i farted, it was really stink
Quote by italiarlz135
Led Pepplin, you are god because of this thread.
Quote by josh999x, Brick23

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Yup, one of the earliest bad jokes.

You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here.

Steam: | PSN: Zeroxxed | Twitter:
then wut lol it was liek turkey olol genghisgandhi

Many profile views... few friends...
Girl: Hey howard, can you come and unhinge my keyhole?

Howard: Sure, here's hoping i don't screw it up

Quote by vivalasteve
This one time, I was...erm...orgasming...but nonstop. It just wouldn't stop and, without being too graphic, basically was like how the blood was coming out of your mouth, then I got dehydrated and died. True story.
There are two muffins in the oven.

One muffin says, "Hey it's getting hot in here."

The other said, "AHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
#57 in UG Top 100 2010!

I really ought to get my username changed...
What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord?

My ass.
I stood before the glittery borders of new radius In search of the fabled city of mud and crushed velvet, What I found was a gutter where the love of entertainment Meets the lust for blood and demerits.
Quote by ZubierAbd
heres one. this is just a lame joke i made to a friend a few days ago. she laughed her ass off but still its kinda messed up.

Girl: Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey
Me: Wow you said so many heys that i had to make a heystack. :P

Damn it that's actually funny.
why did the chicken kill itself

to get to the other side
now extra flamey
Quote by UntilISleep
Excuse me, but your sense of humor is broken.

I'm drunk...I find stupid things funny when I'm drunk.
Two penguins were taking a bath. One penguin asked "Hey can you pass me the soap?"

The other replied with "What do I look like, a loaf of bread?!"
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it
Last edited by jamestwelve at Aug 28, 2010,
Why do white bears dissolve in water?
Because they're polar.
Quote by Pleasure2kill
The truth is, Muslims never apologized for their faith having something to do with the attacks on 9/11.
I don't get half of these but they ****in suck hahaha.

and props to the Master Pain/Betty joke
Dead soldier! Go now to Valhalla!