#1
"People are going to let you down in life,
I just never thought I'd be the one to do it to you."
I'm not much for crying,
but I think that tonight,
yes, I think that tonight I could.
As she lays in my arms,
On this God forsaken dock,
her hair is wet
from her tears or mine I'll never know.
As my body tries to purge out this feeling,
hitting me harder than a hangover on a workday,
I lay here and finally
let myself go.

Don't pour me a drink,
there's nothing quite strong enough to do the job,
and there's not much misery left to drown anyways.
Don't give me a cigarette,
my hearts already working double shifts as it is,
but don't forget,
I'm always here,
I'll always be here.

And the radio droans on..
"it seems to me some fine things,
have been laid upon your table,
but you only want the ones,
that you can't get."
They say this is the first day,
of the rest of our lives.
Well I only wanted love and I'm stuck
dealing out forgiveness
on a table full of empty words.

"Don't you draw the queen of diamonds boy,
she'll beat you if she's able,
you know the queen of hearts
is always your best bet."
So I cast my lot with the princess of irony,
and woke up to find myself plotting against memories.
Memories of good times,
and things I should forget,
but I hang on to them none the less,
because ladies and gentlemen,
I always want to remember
the prelude to my lfe.
#2
I really didn't enjoy your second stanza. It came across as the Sesame Street of heartbreak (given that Sesame Street is now a back alley with hookers and alcoholics and drug dealers playing poker together).

The rest really had a nice zing to it. Some of the lines were too cheesy for me (ie the last 6). "And the radio drones..." as a stanza really overpowered the rest of the piece and carried it nicely to a solid finish. I don't think I cared as much for the rest... but with that stuck in the middle, by the end I enjoyed most of this.