#1
OK, so this is a song called "Syrup" by a high school alternative rock band called "Mud River". I'm not quite sure about the genre but it's definitely metal-influenced and I know you guys like that stuff. However, our band's influences also include the diverse likes of Sonic Youth (noise rock), Led Zeppelin (heavy metal), the Melvins (sludge metal), and the Pixies (alternative rock) as well as a few other more recent bands such as Radiohead.

It's only a draft version so I know it sounds like shit but please don't let that turn you off. The bass needs lots of work, the boring drum beat need lots of work, etc.

Also, I wasn't able to write any decent lyrics so basically I'm just mumbling random sounds throughout the whole song. The vocals were recorded on the first take with the vocalist lying down on the floor with a recording machine on his chest so there are definitely some mistakes and off parts.

I know the solo takes up too much of the song but I purposely made it that way since we're going to turn it into a music video and there are some clips I'd like to put on the end. Perhaps just a bunch of us skateboarding and stuff.

But the overall structure of the song is complete and that's what's important. Soon I'll write some proper lyrics and fix up the drums and bass, add some sound effects to sweeten the deal, then I might record a new version with proper instruments.

Do you think it has some potential? What else should I be looking for?

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLIpiqC7QEI

The final version with the music video should be ready by next week.
#4
Quote by timfoley
quality is poos.
turn the delay off.
too repeatitive and you really need mix it better.
other wise it was good,except maybe the vocals need more power in parts.
your from nz right, which highschool?


thanks for the feedback. Your definitely right about the editing quality but youtube also made it worse by clipping the loud parts. oh and I cant state which high school coz of privacy reasons but its around the auckland area.

Quote by Zeletros
Copyright © 2010 Mud River. All rights reserved.


This a joke?


huh? Isn't that standard practice for all recordings? I admit the riff was influenced by the pixies "where is my mind" but I dont see any evidence of plagiarism.
#5
It reminds me of 24-bit soundtracks to old games like the original Legend of Zelda and the original Pokemon games. (Not a bad thing)
As already stated, quality is suck especially on vocals.
So come on in
it ain't no sin
take off your skin
and dance around in your bones

#6
Well getting past the quality (I seriously thought there was something wrong with my earphones when listening to it. You seriously couldn't fix the intro static/waving thing??) I'll rate the musical quality for you...

:02 - The guitar riff; Meh, boring and generic cookie cutter, I'd personally turn it off at this point.

:38 - Chorus; I don't think playing the same exact thing with distortion and adding a random piano is awful. Seriously, write something new for the chorus or make the main chord progression in the verses something else (or try for a smells like teen spirit bass thing.)

Vocal Melodies: Be spoken in the same chord of the guitar. I do not like this.

----
Bottom Line: You guys are sure rushing to put out your music; midi guitars, awful vocal recordings... c'mon man; take your time. I would never want something like that attracted to my name.

You need to get a book/look up info on the web for song construction and song writing in general. Also, don't put out 'recordings' until you can at least record live guitars.

Keep at it, you'll get it with enough practice and research.

Peace
#7
No, I'm just wondering, copyrighting is never free as far as I know. And you copyrighted a band name, only after you wrote 1 song. Oh and... I just read everything you posted. And led zeppelin=heavy metal? Wikipedia probably. And if you're in a band, and showing off your bands music, how come you're so "private", and you're working on the track alone?

Oh and yes, I'm a jerk.
#8
Quote by Zeletros
No, I'm just wondering, copyrighting is never free as far as I know. And you copyrighted a band name, only after you wrote 1 song. Oh and... I just read everything you posted. And led zeppelin=heavy metal? Wikipedia probably. And if you're in a band, and showing off your bands music, how come you're so "private", and you're working on the track alone?

Oh and yes, I'm a jerk.

So I guess you're a person here who contributes nothing to the topic of the thread and brings up irrelevant issues?

You're so edgy, man.