#1
I don't care for your sandals
I've no interest in your bones
its fun to let it bleed
then its time to be alone


these words the lawyer gave the chief
look back in the saddle at what you see
And the doctor told the thief
that's what indifference has been to me


maybe wings are on your fingers
and your strings are made of gold
but you really make me wonder
what's a man without a soul?

these words the lawyer gave the chief
look back in the saddle at what you see
And the doctor told the thief
that's what indifference has been to me
#7
"maybe wings are on your fingers
and your strings are made of gold
but you really make me wonder
what's a man without a soul?"

This is really good, I like it- especially the first two lines. I understand the piece is about indifference, don't personally get the lawyer/chief doctor/thief references though, would you explain them? I enjoyed it though, thanks for sharing

LL
#8
I agree, ^ the 3rd stanza is really good
Im not too sure about the opening stanza. It doesnt paint a setting or scene..nor evoke any emotion. I know its about indifference, but there must be a clearer/vivid way of getting that accross.

I also feel like the intorduction of chief, lawyer, doctor and thief have no real relation to one another.
#9
its just a song about 2 people I know and don't like and how should I care that they are more skilled at music then I am, and how you should be positive and focus on doing yer thing. but I can tell you its not for the sake of weirdness I made this, its just really hard to explain