MobiuZ
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2009
1,119 IQ
#1
Here is a new song that i wrote , it normally takes me ages but i somehow managed to do it in 2 days anyway i hope someone leaves a comment, c4c of course

o yeah and its made WITH and FOR RSE ! so let me know if you listened with midi , if you did you probably have to tweak some things to make everything hearable.
Attachments:
The Age of War.zip
Last edited by MobiuZ at Aug 31, 2010,
MetaIronForce
ULTIMATE-DISNEY
Join date: Oct 2009
904 IQ
#3
Wow! but its a bit too happy sounding to be called "The Age of War"
Musical Theatre! *jazz hands*


...what am I doing on this site...
metalcoremax87
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2007
292 IQ
#4
a part that is softer than the rest somewhere in the middle. it would give it a nice dynamic. Also, the part in the middle (i believe you called it "theme"), id like to see a guitar solo there instead of the melody thing thats goin on there right now...

if you get a chance, check out my song at https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=25127629#post25127629 thanks
metalcoremax87
Registered User
Join date: Sep 2007
292 IQ
#5
sorry... i meant "add a part that is softer"... oh and i loved it overall
100%
Metal
Join date: Nov 2009
660 IQ
#6
It sounded great but find a new name for it
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Burning_Angel
Valar Morghulis
Join date: Jun 2006
2,379 IQ
#7
The Age of War, huh? Sure you don't mean the age of Sun and butterflies or some other happy shit?

That being said, I'll crit.

First of all, and this goes for the whole thing, I think... The strings are WAY too loud. Like, way, way, way too loud. Past the point of being invasive to being just overpowering. And I even like strings usually, but overpowering is bad. That said, I did like the melody they held in the chorus. And the bridge.

What with all the gallops in various forms, a lot of this song called to mind Iron Maiden and In Flames... But distinctly much more happy/upbeat. Interesting I suppose, but I'm not such a fan of those bands...

Another thing that stood out behind all the strings [when I could actually hear other shit], was the drums. They sorta reminded me of post rock a little. Which was good. I like those style drums. With fills and little rolls here and there.

All that said though, in the end the song was merely... 6/10. Average at best. Because it wasn't really... memorable, to me. Nothing stuck out, grabbed me by throat and forced its way into my head; the song played, played, ended, and there wasn't anything at the end to come back to. Except the chorus, sorta. Ish.

What I think this song really needs is for the strings to be much quieter, take much more of a back seat, and have at least one section where the riff takes the center stage. Hell, a nice melodic, tasteful solo/melody section would also do wonders to make it more memorable. Or a part with more intensity; some double bass here, a Swe-blast there, or something. My two cents.

If ya could/have time, could ya crit mine? 'Tis in my sig, titled 'Loss'...
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MobiuZ
Registered User
Join date: Nov 2009
1,119 IQ
#8
Quote by MetaIronForce
Wow! but its a bit too happy sounding to be called "The Age of War"


Quote by 100%
It sounded great but find a new name for it


Quote by Burning_Angel
The Age of War, huh? Sure you don't mean the age of Sun and butterflies or some other happy shit?


I understand what you guys mean , but the title is ambiguous.
I think you guys think that its about the wars that were fought , but its actually about what age someone should have before he goes to war , the first world war and second world war inspired me to write this song , as some soldiers were as young as 10 ( ww2 ) and 13 years old ( ww1 ) , and thats what this song is about , coping with al that when even adults would go insane on the frontlines.

So thats why the song is not as "dark" and "epic" as one might expect , so its just more of an up-temo rocker questioning the issue , nothing more , nothing less.

Quote by Burning_Angel

What I think this song really needs is for the strings to be much quieter, take much more of a back seat, and have at least one section where the riff takes the center stage. Hell, a nice melodic, tasteful solo/melody section would also do wonders to make it more memorable. Or a part with more intensity; some double bass here, a Swe-blast there, or something. My two cents.


from what i can tell from your post you listened with midi ? right ?
cuz i said in my post that it sounds pretty unbalanced with midi , but its ok .

Quote by metalcoremax87
if you get a chance, check out my song at https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=25127629#post25127629 thanks
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Last edited by MobiuZ at Aug 31, 2010,
169290
Banned
Join date: Oct 2005
820 IQ
#9
well first off i really enjoyed it after i had turned down the ambiance tracks because as others had said they where way to loud. I listened to it in GP6 with RSE on btw but that is RSE2 so it might be different than RSE1 anywho...

it had i thought a very generic sound to it, but not a bad generic sound its like ive heard that chord progression before but its a good one so yeah

Loved the chorus and the riff into the chorus. I wasnt to keen on the bass at the start or the strings maybe one of them sounded out of tune like hitting the wrong note every now and again unless thats what you wanted

but yeah overall good attempt and with the name maybe change it to "Age of enrolement" or "the young war" i dunno lol something like that because "Age of War" doesnt fit it at all even if i do no the meaning behind it (which i do lol i read what you put)

8/10 purely because the ambiance was way to loud and the bass/ambiance at the start was a bit off.
blackmagician
Registered User
Join date: Dec 2007
98 IQ
#10
starts of pretty good. i like the drums, the war type rolls. btw, fantastic selection of the drum kit
the riffs are good. but i would keep changing around. it sounds too repetitive.
too happy for my taste
if i were you, i would put so many solos there! i mean, short but sweet ones.
its a good happy upbeat song.
5/10 from me though
b101
Registered User
Join date: Feb 2007
768 IQ
#11
like others have said, the strings are a bit of a killer - tone them down to about 11 on the volume. Also, that snare really started to grate after a while but that may just be me. It's generally solid but as Burning Angel said, it doesn't really have a "wow" moment where you're blown away. Much as I hate to say this, but listen to some Guns and Roses and put in a standard cheesy clean section with a melodic solo over the top. Hell, a solo with delay and some big bends would suit this perfectly.

One of the biggest lessons I ever learnt about writing music (and I still haven't got it down perfectly :P) is about dynamics. Mix the loud parts with some soft parts and the loud parts sound a lot louder, and vice-versa. Also, don't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone, try and think of an odd technique and work it in melodically to your solos/leads.

All in all, it's got the potential to be class, I really like the fact that it's in a major key, nice little twist on the genre. Spend a bit more time on it adjusting the levels and working in that extra section and you could have a little gem here

If you fancy C4C, the Floydy one in my sig could use a little bump...
D-Saster
Is Jesus
Join date: Nov 2006
410 IQ
#12
As I go:
Well the happy mood surprised me from the title
4's section sounded really nice
Verse A i like the octave addition for the ringing effect
At the break i really like the overdriven's lines
Verse B is really catchy, it'll probably follow me to work today lol
Theme: okay ive decided i like all the leads from overdriven
Crossfade outro seemed to work quite well... as well. OK!
I think that's worth an 8, super happy vibes coming from war but i'm sure lyrics will aid in it being a happy take on it in a somewhat 'Maiden like style. I love the lines from the overdriven guitar like a said and i guess it's worth commenting on the cohesion of the whole thing seeing as there are 10 tracks and I didn't really notice like half of what was played. There wasn't too much clutter in here and as this doesn't seem like it was meant to be a technical piece so the lack of variety is welcome to keep things nice and simple.
Paradox_Empire7
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2009
334 IQ
#13
Too lazy to crit sorry but I think it's happy and that's ok, don't mess with the title if you're happy with it. Some lyrics would make it a lot better. You made RSE sound great, good job btw.
Kämpfer
Registered User
Join date: Oct 2009
736 IQ
#14
Really happy sounding. Reminded me of Iron Maiden a bit. I really like the Chorus etc, but I think you're over-using the main chord progression

Like someone else said, the strings are very loud. The Bridge and Theme sections are really good!

Outro was nice and soothing.

8/10.
Shaharz
DAH KEWL GUY
Join date: Jan 2007
921 IQ
#15
Haha that was so happy :P

It was very Iron Maiden, like everyone else said, and that's obviously a good thing.
Synths kinda took over and I couldnt hear the melodies at some points, and since the synth is only backing there's not point in it being that loud.
I don't think you overused the main chord progression cause it felt like you gave it a different direction every time, so it was ok.

Overall it was fun. 8/10.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1365775
-Flooow
Trivium fanboy
Join date: Feb 2009
433 IQ
#17
it doesnt sound like the age of war to me.
I rather feel like listening to a pop-song. xD
but its great .. really loved to listen to it.
Nemesis@Germany
Rhythm Guitar
Join date: Feb 2009
465 IQ
#18
i tried to pick something from your sig with a name that's not.. well.. too cheesy.
thought "Age Of War" might be my cup of tea, because of the name.
but it's totally not.
honestly, it sounds like some pop song i have to listen to when i'm having a drive with some friends and i'm forced to listen to radio.
i won't go into details, because all the part's sound very similiar..
the rhythms always like "long-short-short"-repeat, variation in every fourth bar and so on.
just like pop is.
in other words: this is generic.
the melody is, too.

it's really not my cup of tea.
well, even if it was, it's still pretty generic and boring after some bars.
it's just sooo predictable, thus, making it less fun for me to listen to.
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Holy shit nemesis, that was depressing.
Mission accomplished!
Nemesis@Germany
Rhythm Guitar
Join date: Feb 2009
465 IQ
#19
man, i sound like an ass.
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symphyses
Legacy of Brutality
Join date: Jul 2007
92 IQ
#20
I don't know if this is good critisicm or not... but I could deffinately sing the words to "Don't Stop Believing" to the chord progression. lol, anyway I thought this song was good. Just sounded a little similar to the song mentioned.
Uber Man
I <3 Four Strings
Join date: Sep 2008
1,022 IQ
#21
Quote by MobiuZ
... its actually about what age someone should have before he goes to war , the first world war and second world war inspired me to write this song , as some soldiers were as young as 10 ( ww2 ) and 13 years old ( ww1 ) , and thats what this song is about , coping with al that when even adults would go insane on the frontlines.

So thats why the song is not as "dark" and "epic" as one might expect , so its just more of an up-temo rocker questioning the issue , nothing more , nothing less.


pretty sure little kids going to war isn't a happy thing.
Nemesis@Germany
Rhythm Guitar
Join date: Feb 2009
465 IQ
#22
Pwnd.
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Quote by synestershadows
Holy shit nemesis, that was depressing.
Mission accomplished!
TehDutchDude
I'm really Dutch.
Join date: Oct 2009
995 IQ
#23
Writing as I'm listening.

Intro: Pretty punk-like, haha. Sounds cool.

WOAH! Awesome part afterwards! Love it man, I love the epic feel that this song has, already! Bar 11 is very nice. The break fits the theme very well, mainly because it seems to follow the overall melody. Lucky for you, it's a nice melody.

Verse B is a nice change. Love it. Keep it in, please. I like the chorus as well. Bar 48 is a nice variation. This song is full of nice variations.

Lead guitars are unexpected, but nice. I was expecting some shredariffic stuff, but this fits in nice.

Part afterwards (theme + break) is awesome (man, I sure am repetitive XD). The ending is nice as well. Fits the song.

All in all, amazing. At first I was like: hey, this not MobiuZ-like. But then came in the epicness and it became a MobiuZ-song. It resembles Iron Maiden a lot.

One thing I don't get: The Age of War? I was expecting something sad, or angry. Turns out to be a happy song :P

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1380752
Yeah