#1
Hello Pit,

Today is a rather sad day, I woke up this morning, went outside to check on my ferrets and found my eldest, (Phoebe) lying on the floor of their run (which is outside and fairly exposed). She was shivering and didn't seem to be able to move her front legs. I assume she spent the night there and last night was the coldest in quite a while.

Now she's been getting worse over the last couple of weeks, I think due to a condition ferrets get called Cardiomyopathy. Now she's been on my lap for 3 hours and has warmed up, but her front legs (and her rear left leg) simply are co-ordinated. I have this happen to a ferret before and it doesn't end well.

But depressing story aside, the reason I made this thread is that whenever anything I love dies, I never really express any sorrow, and I feel so guilty for it. When my grandfather died, the rest of my family was understandably in tears, I just sort of phased out. The same happened when my cousin died and my last ferret. Does anybody else get this awful sense of guilt from not being sad? Well even then, it's not that I'm not sad, I mean I love her to bits, but I don't feel upset, I don't feel like bursting into tears.

Sorry if this thread is silly or just sounds stupid, I'm just kind of lost for words at the moment. Thank you all for reading, hope you have a good day.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#2
My grandfather died earlier this summer, and even though I loved him very much, I didn't cry about it as much as I thought I would. I found it kind of hard to accept that he was gone.

I'm told that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone has to do it their own way. Besides, if he was still alive, I don't think he'd want me to be dwelling in misery.

RIP grandfather. You were a brilliant man.
#3
Everyone deals with it differently. No need to feel guilty.

Sorry for you loss.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. - Douglas Adams
#4
I understand where you're coming from on that. I had 5 family members (none immediate) pass in a year's span my Senior year of High School into my Freshman year of College and it pretty much made me go numb. I was pall bearer for 3 of the 4 funerals I attended. I don't remember shedding a single tear though. I wasn't really close with any of them. I might have seen them at most, 3-4 times a year at family functions.

It made me feel bad but I think at the time, it was just so much that if I would have let it get to me, it would have really messed me up. I am generally a fairly laid back person anyway. I don't get excited easily but I don't get upset easily either. It can be a good thing sometimes but it also pisses people off. It works both ways. I don't get angry or upset over things like death and I don't get overjoyed by good things. just part of who I am.
#5
Whenever something like this happens I feel sad but I don't actually express anything outwardly. I don't really feel bad about it until someone asks me if I'm okay or says that I look really calm, then I start feeling slightly guilty for...not showing it, I guess. But the amount of sadness I feel has absolutely nothing to do with whether I'm crying or not. And like the person above me said, it's just the way I am.
cat
#6
Quote by bklinger83


It made me feel bad but I think at the time, it was just so much that if I would have let it get to me, it would have really messed me up. I am generally a fairly laid back person anyway. I don't get excited easily but I don't get upset easily either. It can be a good thing sometimes but it also pisses people off. It works both ways. I don't get angry or upset over things like death and I don't get overjoyed by good things. just part of who I am.


I am also similar, I can't remember crying when 3/4 of my grandparents died (in separate events), I felt a bit of guilt, but I knew they wouldn't want me to drown in sorrow. One thing were I felt massive amounts of sad anger (if that makes sense) was when one of my classmates (not too close) died in a car accident, along with half her family (grandfather and 2 children I think) they were all under the age of 14. It sort of made me angry at how unfair some things can be, but I still didn't have that feeling that I will burst into tears.

What I noticed most of all though is the fact that I move nearly every 2 years, sometimes less. For some reason I never have an issue with just cutting away people, it might sound scary, but its part of me. I am still a very positive person but I have no trouble at all cutting away the people I love (apart from parents or people that have been there all the way). Because life goes on, my friends will keep living their lives, I will keep living mine. Thats why I always think its bullshit when some teen chick has to move a state in america, and they make a TV show about it. I've moved 8 times from eight different countries spanning 3 continents before I reached the age of 15...wheres my prize?

I actually talked to some people and they kept claiming that one day it will all hit me, and I will collapse =S
Yes I will probably havve moments of stress or some crap, but collapsing....its really not my nature, everyones different.
#7
When my first hamster died a while ago I cried quite a bit, but when my second hamster died about 3 years later I didn't. I felt really guilty too, but I haven't had a massive family loss really that I've had to deal with. One of my grandparents died the year before I was born, another two when IU was about 5-ish and the other's still alive, so I don't really know.
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#8
A lot of you guys are saying that it's not in their nature to cry about these things. I was actually a very whiny kid and I used to cry a lot when I was young. I did cry and feel bad when my grandfather died, but not to the extent that I was expecting from myself. I felt like I was giving the impression that I didn't love him as much as I did, and that made me feel guilty.

If that makes any sense.
#9
"Guilt is the very nerve of sorrow" - Horace Bushnell.

I'm not good with comforting others.
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