#1
i just like the way your head feels on my chest
bobbing up and down in my breaths so effortlessly
its as if youve been stranded off into the sea
and are lulled to sleep by the salt.

maybe its these things that matter
hiding in between laced fingers
nestled in the breaths that falter
shatter linger when you look up at me and


maybe its these things that dont matter
wipe the salty taste of your skin off my mouth
lock your sea tempest eyes in a drawer and
sit and wonder and wonder,
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#2
I thought I would like the ending until I got there. It's a cliffhanger, ending right at the part of a thought that starts to feel important, and yeah, I'm left wondering. Was that intentional?

The flow is great - second stanza, especially. 'salty taste' seemed kind of weird at first, but now I think I'm okay with it.

goodgoodgood.
#3
Of all the words you wrote here, of all the words I've ever written from you, it feels a little silly to pick out a little piece of punctuation as my absolute favorite thing your fingers ever tapped out, but that's how I feel about this. That little comma, so unobtrusive, so unimportant in every other situation, is just wonderful here. You're not ending the piece, you're continuing it, merely highlighting this bit of poetry as it sits as a part of your existence, as a part of all existence. Because things don't have a concrete beginning and an end, they flow into one another, and the divisions we humans create are artificial. I love it, because you could have ended sooner, or later, or anywhere, or kept going on and on until the sun collapses and then explodes into a red giant and all records are lost.

Also I love "sea tempest eyes".
kill all humans
#4
glad you liked. i thought the punctuation would fit the setting well
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja