#1
I am all in all looking for some feedback on this semi-rough recording of a song I wrote. I am not very willing to share my songs often, so it's taking me some courage to post this on here. Any critique will do; voice (I will say my voice isn't at all good), guitar, levels, writing.

Thank you in advanced, I'm pretty new to this place heh

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/Raumcole/music/all/play890141
"Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright, it's alright"- John Lennon
#2
If you're going to have the voice in only one speaker, you really need to turn it up louder than the instruments on the other side. Also, think about re-writing lyrics. A lot of them really don't fit the song at all. Also, consider writing a more dynamic bridge for this. Right now it sounds Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus, Repeat End Line Of Chorus. Maybe some kind of string quartet playing a refrain over it? I'm not entirely sure, it just feels very repetitive and incomplete. It's a solid effort though, def better some of the other shit I've heard in here that I don't bother to comment on.
I actually do have schizophrenia, so stop making fun of people who have it.

GEAR:
Boss ME-50
Silvertone Paul Stanley Apocalypse (modded)
Squier Affinity Strat (modded)
Italia Modulo 2
Fender Front 15G
#3
Thank you very much for your input, Deflected.

I will go ahead and make changes on the lyrics, pattern of the song, and also the levels of the vocal.
"Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright, it's alright"- John Lennon
#4
Apology for double post

Made the changes of bringing vocals forward and also added quite a bit to the lyrics, including a bridge (which was difficult for me). I really like the product so far from your advice, the song is seeming less repetitive.
"Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright, it's alright"- John Lennon