#1
I was rummaging through some of my older writings when I came across this.
Enjoy.


Make me a hero
he screams to the sky that stopped listening eight years ago
when he first said he didn't believe in God
and finally admitted his hope was all his own

That little twinkle in his eyes is the last sign that he even has a soul anymore
He slashed his wrists and stood out in the rain
just to see if blood loss would slow his breathing
He just wanted to know if he would finally feel pain if his heart would just stop beating
#2
It's in present tense in the first part, and in the first line of the first part. Then you go into past tense. Not sure if you did this on purpose, but it sounds a bit odd. Maybe change the tenses around so they're consistent.

Other than that it was a little dark for me, but not bad! Keep it up.
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Quote by Jackal58
Yer pretty fly for a Canadian.