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#1
Hey pit,

this topic has probably been done before but i dont see any topic like this active. Anyway me and a couple of my friends like to have a little fun once in a while and let ourselves go. We start talking about random stuff such as me wanting them to "feel the earth" we also saw a bunch of goblins around. it was a great time. I know im not the only one who has said stupid stuff like that so i wanna know what u guys have said
#2
"........................................what?"
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#3
the only time i was drunk was accidental and i said

"I wonder if i can take this golf club and shove it right up your bosses asrse for sexual pleasure."

after that i slipped on the ice (it was January and the whole course was cover with 4 inches of frozen snow)
and felll into the lake
People in the pit take my post way too seriously.

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7-String Legion

If you have a question PM me and I will always get back to you.
#4
The best quotes are obviously going to be missed out on, as the poster probably can't remember.

While drunk as all hell one night, I can remember telling my friend I felt velvety.
Gear:
08' Gibson Les Paul Studio
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MXR 10 Band EQ
MXR EVH Phase 90
Boss DS-1
Dunlop 535Q Wah

Death to all butt metal.
#7
I was chatting up some gal at a party and kept calling myself "The Wolf."

I thought it was hot at the time, but that's so embarrassing it's hard to even type.
#8
[quote="'-[NiL"]-']I was chatting up some gal at a party and kept calling myself "The Wolf."

I thought it was hot at the time, but that's so embarrassing it's hard to even type.


too much Duran Duran?
People in the pit take my post way too seriously.

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7-String Legion

If you have a question PM me and I will always get back to you.
#9
Quote by Deadlock Riff
too much Duran Duran?

Nah, too much Grey Goose.

edit: Totally still slept with her.

Also, I went outside for air and fell down the stairs at my friend's apartment. Everyone inside heard me banging on the metal steps on the way down. When I went back inside:

My friend: Did you just fall down the ****ing stairs?

Me: No. *continues drinking*
Last edited by -[NiL]- at Sep 1, 2010,
#10
I said something hilarious when I was pissed. The next morning I remembered it and it was actually shit. I guarantee that 99% of this thread will be shit.
#11
The stupidest thing I've said was when I was smoking salvia. I had just taken a huge hit of it and it felt like I couldn't get up. It felt as if my whole body had doubled in weight and gone numb, well anyway after falling to the grown and laughing uncontrollably I kept saying "gravity won't let me get back up!".
#12
My friends and I have a notebook that we call The Stupid Book where we write down funny things we say when we get stupid. I highly recommend it.
#13
"Well you was speeding too ociffer if you coulda caught me! Gotta write yourself a ticket!"
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


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ilikeyou.

not hated
#14
if anyones got annnoying stuff they said i wanna hear it too. i remember one time i couldnt stop telling people to "take a seat over there" but i never specified where "there" was and i couldnt stop saying "are you sure" XD but i have learned to control myself so im not annoying
#15
Quote by crackerpleaz
My friends and I have a notebook that we call The Stupid Book where we write down funny things we say when we get stupid. I highly recommend it.


d00d that is one of the best ideas ever! i cant believe i didnt think about that before!! im doing that next time i get with my buddies. I might make a doodle pad too because i draw when that happens
#17
I was watching a meteor shower high and I about threw up out of fear for my life... if that counts.
#21
Comment:

every empty bowl needs to be filled
and every filled bowl needs to be emptied

Response:

deep shit




What the fuck man?
#22
Comment: You know how they do auto-tune the news? I think it would be funny if someone auto-tuned porn, but thats just my opinion.


What?
People in the pit take my post way too seriously.

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If you have a question PM me and I will always get back to you.
#23
Quote by Deadlock Riff
Comment: You know how they do auto-tune the news? I think it would be funny if someone auto-tuned porn, but thats just my opinion.


What?


thats actually not a bad idea... im gonna download one and autotune it and see how funny it is
#24
Drunk:
Once I repeatedly used the word "mojadra" (whatever the fuck it means). I think it might've been a drunk derivative of "mojado" (which means floor).
Created two of my catch phrases "She wants ta BONE me!" (which I don't get to use often) and "Just let it happen" (which I get to use quite often).
One of my friends thought he was Undertaker and one of the other guys was Goldust and was threatening to chokeslam him.
Same friend went into what we now refer to as "kill mode" because he kept threatening to kill the guys.
Two of my friends thought they were swimming in another of our friends' yard after shots of Cuervo.
And just the occasional "Dude you're my brother" and the like between me and my friends.

High:
A few of my friends ran from one of my friends screaming "Dude! (insert name) turned to a zombie!"
Two of my friends thought they were in WWII fighting AS Germans (and probably not speaking it well either. I don't know, I don't speak the language.)
While taking Triple C's, one of my friends though water was rushing into the living room and we were gonna drown and another thought he was flying while listening to DSOTM.

(These are just the things I remember right now)

EDIT: NiL, your avatar just made me nostalgia-gasm all over my inner child's face! NOT COOL MAN!
Last edited by cyco_bob56 at Sep 1, 2010,
#25
Everything just seems so fuckin' smart when I'm high, I'm struggling to think of stuff.
#26
dude, you be trippin
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wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
#27
Few nights ago, most drunk ive ever been (i never meant to be so drunk) and after being up all night drinking whiskey i remember parts of the conversation me and my friend had.
He was really drunk and i was telling him that he could 'be a great blues player, all you need is the two frets there , and you've got the blues'

He can't play anyway, and this conversation went on for about half an hour. 'one chord man, remember what the guy at the pub said, remember..' etc
#28
No quote really sticks out to me, everything I say/do is pretty stupid when I'm ****ed up. When I'm high I just act really stupid, have long stupid conversations, and generally don't make alot of sense. When I'm drunk I talk kinda ghetto for some reason, everyone becomes my best friend, and I feel adventurous and go out and do stupid shit with my friends.

Edit: Holy shit, I never noticed that UG censors out ****, I thought people just typed out the *s like douchebags.
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Last edited by SatanPriest at Sep 1, 2010,
#29
My friends are lucky that they never got me drunk. I probably would have tried to make out with my best friend if I ever got drunk around him.
Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
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#30
"Okay guys I could not find anythign to shove up my ass, but I do have a potato and Carmex...will that work?"
#25 for top 100 UGer of 2009
UG's 2nd Funniest UGer and 3rd most likely to be a Serial Killer of 2009, 2nd of 2011
#32
I was smoking weed with a few friends on a hill next to one of my friends' neighborhood. A car pulled up and parked on the road which was about 100 feet away from the base of the hill. No one ever drives on that road so we thought it was odd. One of my friends randomly says, "Oh my god it's a stick up!!" and bolts off. The rest of us just sit there looking at each other with a dumbfounded look on our faces and then we start running as fast as we can. After a few minutes of running we all stop and start laughing

it was very odd.
#33
"DUDE I THINK WE LEFT A BLACK GUY IN THE OVEN!!!!

"OH SHIT WE GOTTA GET HIM OUT!!!"

*search the oven*

"****KK.... WE ARE TOO LATE.... HE VAPORIZED"

XD
#35
Quote by spanishyanez
"Okay guys I could not find anythign to shove up my ass, but I do have a potato and Carmex...will that work?"

It probably would have collapsed and gotten trapped in your bum. Please tell me that you didn't follow through with it.
Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
The grandmother is having a baby with her grandson, so the grandson will be his own fathers father, the baby will be his own grandfather, and grandson, and the grandmother will be the mother, and great grandmother?

Quote by TheBurningFish
ಠ_ಠ
#36
oh boy i got a ton of these
"where are we going?" "the laser show" "wait but where the **** are we going?" "i told you 10seconds ago the laser show" "no no no i asked where the **** are we going?" "say that one more time i will kick your ass" "where are we... nevermind haha"- me and my friend who wasnt high while i was super blazed.

"i feel like a ****in train that like smashed into another train and like ****in flipped or something."

"can you bj me please?"- i asked this ugly girl that while super drunk
"i feel like a butterfly, flying away."
"dude my car feels like a ****in rocket ship!! i think we are going like light speed!!"
"what i did before i was sober? well i drank before i was sober, i slept before i was sober, i uh drank milk before i was sober, i drive before i was sober..."-my friend who was completely wasted, i asked him to say something he would regret when he is sober.

"dude are you drunk too?"(me) "no im not, its just you"(friend) "dude why the **** not??" "cuz im driving" "so i can drive drunk" "no you cant, thats bad." "yes i can i just havent drank yet."- me talking to my friend one night when i was totally hammered.

i gots lots more ill try to remember.
I smoke like Rasta, got hair like pasta
I be sippin' on them shots then bustin' rhymes like Busta


Load up the bong, crank up the song, let the informa call 911
#37
I got a buddy who got completely hammered and walks up to me "Jessy your half my size so just push your tits together" i got at least 70 lbs on him lol. Another time on mushrooms i was in a field with a bunch of people and i went and laid down in the grass and stared at the sky. All the stars fell and i shot straight back up and yelled out "DUDE I JUST HIT ****ING LIGHTSPEED".
Keep On Keepen' On
#38
"hahahaha....haha....guys....I can hardly think as much as a giraffe right now..."
I'm Like a Super Hero Without Any Powers or Motivation.
#39
I was hanging out with one dude a few weeks back who was high off his ass. He went out back, and laid on the ground, holding on to the grass for dear life. All he kept saying was, "help me, I'm going to fall! Into the SKKKKYYYYYYYYY!"
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#40
Got two for the thread

*I see my friend at a party and he does this weird thing where he leans on me
Me:Shit man how drunk are you?
Him: ...Blurple.

*and me while I was really high
Me: Hey should I buy that strawberry banana smoothie? sounds good man.
Friend: Nahh save your money its like seven dollars its a ripoff
Me: Dude do you know one place where they grow strawberry bananas? I didn't think so. I'm gettin it.
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