#1
Knowing how The Pit enjoys a good story, I thought leave I'd this here. This was created about 10 min ago out of sheer boredom. Enjoy...

This is the story of a brave, brave Viking named Hrothgar Skullcleaver and his battle with the fearsome and mighty Scrumpflehumpfle.

It is celebrated on the 503rd Friday of every year.It celebrates the day that the mighty viking King Hrothgar Skullcleaver killed the mighty Scrumpflehumpfle. Now, before we begin this story, let me pain you a picture of this fearsome beast. Don't let the name fool you, this beast can kill a man very easily. He measures about 25 feet tall. His tail is 50 ft long and covered in razor sharp spines. He is a cross between a dragon and a Cave Troll. His teeth are razor sharp and carry a toxin so potent that a mere scratch is enough to kill a full grown Giant. He has 8 long arms, each with claws the size of broadswords on them. He can breath fire which can turn rock into lava in a mere 2 seconds. His eyes are as red as blood, and the size of grapefruits. This is a menacing creature who feeds on anything he can find, but enjoys humans the most. Now, onto the story.

You see, back then, Hrothgar was only a Viking. He wasn't king yet, but he was the most fearsome warrior in the land. When the Scrumpflehumpfle started terrorizing the clan's village, Hrothgar declared he would kill it. He used his mighty enchanted sword Richard to kill this unholy beast. He entered the woods where the mighty and fearsome Scrumpflehumpfle had his abode and knocked on the beast's door, but had no luck. It seemed that the beast was not home, but he entered anyway. The best entered the house not long after he did with an arm full of groceries. The beast saw Hrothgar and dropped his groceries and ran at him to attack him. Knowing that this would be to the death, Hrothgar drew his mighty and magical sword Richard and yelled his battle cry, "FOR VLAD!!" and attacked the beast.
The battle lasted several hours. Hrothgar was wounded, but not mortally. The beast was down to it's last 3 arms (having a total of 8). His shield had been broken long ago, and proved useless against the creature's firebreath. THe fight lasted several more hours, and Hrothgar's face was burned from the Scrumpflehumpfle's firebreath.

In the end, it was our fearless hero Hrothgar Skullcleaver that proved victorious. He slit the beast's throat and cut off it's head as a trophy. He then took the beast's groceries and money from it's wallet, then headed back home to his nice village of Visengrad. He brought back the fell creature's head to the king, and the king resigned his throne and gave it to Hrothgar Skullcleaver.

The day the Scrumpflehumpfle was killed was the 503rd Friday of that year
and that is why we celebrate Scrumpflehumpfle day on that day. It is celebrated to remind us of the bravery of King Hrothgar Skullcleaver and his fight with that unholy beast those many years ago.
Last edited by darkwolf291 at Sep 3, 2010,
#4
TL;DR viking mugs a helpless monster who was just shopping for its groceries.
So come on in
it ain't no sin
take off your skin
and dance around in your bones

#5
You high, nigga?
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ಠ_ಠ
#7
503rd friday? that year? wait a minute.... this story's fake. HEY EVERYONE, THIS GUY'S A PHONY!! A BIG PHONY!!!
All the way from Palm Springs, just out of detox.
Show him a warm welcome, let's hear some applause
#9
Cool story, bro.
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I can't look at anything starting with BB and not thinking big busty.
Big Busty Queefing.
#10
Haha, Richard...
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what's the point in being "philiosophical"?

Interesting question...
#12
You, TS, make me groan.

Edit: Why the fuck did he steal the dragon-troll's groceries? He could've just freaking asked for some food if he was so damn hungry! TS, that's not right, not right at all. You a bad influence on children.
Last edited by crazysam23_Atax at Sep 3, 2010,
#13
Dude. I really hope you didn't put much effort into that. Cause it's dumb.
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#15
Quote by crazysam23_Atax
You, TS, make me groan.

Edit: Why the fuck did he steal the dragon-troll's groceries? He could've just freaking asked for some food if he was so damn hungry! TS, that's not right, not right at all. You a bad influence on children.

HE was terrorizing the village....He was eating people. Hrothgar killed him because of that. Why let good groceries go to waste?

Quote by Jackal58
Dude. I really hope you didn't put much effort into that. Cause it's dumb.

Nah, it was made in 10 min while bored out of my mind.
Last edited by darkwolf291 at Sep 3, 2010,
#16
Quote by darkwolf291
HE was terrorizing the village....He was eating people. Hrothgar killed him because of that. Why let good groceries go to waste?


Nah, it was made in 10 min while bored out of my mind.

It's all good. Well except for the story part.
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You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

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#17
Quote by darkwolf291
HE was terrorizing the village....He was eating people. Hrothgar killed him because of that. Why let good groceries go to waste?
I was being sarcastic. But really, what badass monster buys groceries? He'd just eat the villagers.
#18
Quote by darkwolf291
Knowing how The Pit enjoys a good story, I thought I'd this here.

This is where I stopped reading.
Begin again in the night, let's sway again tonight.
Your arm on my shoulder, your cheek against mine.
Where can we go, when will we find that, we know.
#21
Quote by darkwolf291
I know you were...But where would he get his milk and Nutella from?

Norse monsters ate virgins. Last I checked you can't go into your local Kroger and get directions to the virgin aisle.
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You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

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Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

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I can fap to this. Keep going.
#23
Someone watched Beowulf on showcase last night.
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theory states 1+1=2 sometimes in music 1+1=3.