#1
DragtheWaters, I won't fend you off this time

I'm look for crit on a two short works, the first being particularly on drums. I think I should explain myself before getting crits just to make sure people know what I'm looking to do:

Both pieces begin as if continuing from another piece that I haven't heard yet. They will also eventually end as if continuing to another piece that I haven't heard either.

For the first piece, the mood for the first two riffs is supposed to be "bouncy" and upbeat, and the mood for the third riff is one similar to a soundscape that bands like Gordian Knot produce. I don't have drums down for the third riff.

The second piece is supposed to be ambient and slow, something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD6k0anwLuM. Drums may be used, but only lightly.

Like the title says, C4C.
Attachments:
Puzzle Slow.gp5
Puzzle Fast.gp5
Last edited by WizMystery at Sep 6, 2010,
#2
Updated with two more riffs... the first of which I'd rather replace with a buildup of some kind.
#3
Not what I expected, haha. I misunderstood 'bouncy' for 'completely downtuned bouncy chug sounds.'

Anyways, not exactly my style, but I'll try to crit anyways.

The first (now second I think, the fast one) sounds good, but to be honest I'm not really hearing the upbeat sound you said you were going for so much. I almost get a dark feeling during a lot of it actually, though as I said I still think it sounds pretty good, just not really upbeat. =/

As for the second one, it sounds as you planned it to I believe, which is the main point IMO. Good, slow, and ambient. Only complaint on that one is personally I wish there was a bit more of a melody going on sometimes, too, as Cloudkicker (love them btw) does. Besides that though it's very good, would sound great with some reverb and/or echo.

Also, as for C4C if you wish: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1358877
Arms Of Empire
^ ^ ^ Band I am involved in ^ ^ ^
Please check it out? ;D


Axe FX II + EBMM JP6 + Jackson DK2S
#4
Quote by BigBigWater
Not what I expected, haha. I misunderstood 'bouncy' for 'completely downtuned bouncy chug sounds.'

Anyways, not exactly my style, but I'll try to crit anyways.

The first (now second I think, the fast one) sounds good, but to be honest I'm not really hearing the upbeat sound you said you were going for so much. I almost get a dark feeling during a lot of it actually, though as I said I still think it sounds pretty good, just not really upbeat. =/


Strange o.o I did lose that bouncy feel after a while but I always thought the first riff was pretty upbeat... but now that you mention it I kind of like the darkish feel it has now. I don't know how I even got there...

Quote by BigBigWater
As for the second one, it sounds as you planned it to I believe, which is the main point IMO. Good, slow, and ambient. Only complaint on that one is personally I wish there was a bit more of a melody going on sometimes, too, as Cloudkicker (love them btw) does. Besides that though it's very good, would sound great with some reverb and/or echo.


I'll try and add a synth melody in when I start working on that one again.

Quote by BigBigWater


Sure, I'll do it right now!
#5
I like the first (slow) but the bars would sound better in 4/4 if you ask me. The piece is pretty calm so a weird 5/4 kind of throws it off.
#6
Quote by Kirborg
I like the first (slow) but the bars would sound better in 4/4 if you ask me. The piece is pretty calm so a weird 5/4 kind of throws it off.


I put the 5/4 there to give it more time to ring if you know what I mean. I felt like 4/4 wasn't giving it enough time to die down and 5/4 felt just as natural to me *shrug*

EDIT:

Okay, I think I may have near finished the faster piece.
Last edited by WizMystery at Sep 6, 2010,