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#1
Hypothetical time. Say the world decided to have an International Open Mic Day. It's one of the biggest media spectacles of all time, and the networks showing it make so much money off the ads you could send a monkey to Mars and back, twice. Time on stage is given away by random lottery; you are the lucky winner of some. You can't back out. The world is watching you, Pitmonkey. What do you say?

SHEdit: You can have up to fifteen minutes at your disposal to change or troll the world.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

Last edited by SteveHouse at Sep 5, 2010,
#4
Quote by Ikey
the game

See, the whole point of the Game is to have everyone in the world playing, and it's over once that goal has been reached.

Rather than saying that, I'd explain the rules, win the game, and end it once and for all so people stop bringing it up.


Actually, I'd sell that time to corporations. Get them to bid for my speech time, and I'd do adverts for whoever is willing to pay me the most.

You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here.



Steam: | PSN: Zeroxxed | Twitter:
#5
Fuck yo couch nigga.
Quote by MakinLattes
dwelling on past mishaps is for the weak. you must stride into the future, unabashed and prepared to fuck up yet again.
#6
Depends on how much I can say. Because I'd give a good speech to the world if I could, but I feel like this thread wants shorter things.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 75-84
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 2-1
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 32-15
#7
"I need about two fiddy"

really, I have nothing to say to the world. I'd just shake my head in disappointment and walk off stage.
Last edited by MakinLattes at Sep 5, 2010,
#9
Quote by necrosis1193
Depends on how much I can say. Because I'd give a good speech to the world if I could, but I feel like this thread wants shorter things.

You get fifteen minutes. Good luck holding the world's attention that long, though. (I'll put it in OP.)

Also, the rest of you suck at trolling the world

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#10
Wonga!

Gibson Buckethead Les Paul & Peter Frampton Les Paul
Dean Razorback Slime Bumblebee
Mesa Boogie Dual Rectifier
EHX Memory Man/Hazarai
Digitch Whammy
Sovtek Straight 4x12
Herdim Picks
Laney Linebacker 50 Reverb
MXR Phase 90
#11
Quote by MakinLattes
"I need about two fiddy"
Tree fiddy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4C96ZTJIhU
THE OHIO STATE BUCKEYES

Drive! Drive on down the field, men of the scarlet and gray...
I'm an
Engeneer
Enginere
Engenere
I'm good with math.

a0/2 + ∑ an cos(nπx/L) + bn sin(nπx/L)

ĤΨ(x,t) = iħ ∂Ψ(x,t)/∂t
σx σp ≥ h/2
#12
Attention world. Testicles. That will be all.

Amidoinitrite?
Gear:
08' Gibson Les Paul Studio
Peavey Valveking 112 w/ Vintage 30
Peavy Vypyr 15 watt
MXR 10 Band EQ
MXR EVH Phase 90
Boss DS-1
Dunlop 535Q Wah

Death to all butt metal.
#13
it would be quite fun just to piss off one country and have the rest of the world laughing at them
now extra flamey
#15
"smoke weed everyday" in a poorly gestured nate-dawg voice.
hide your kids, hide your wife.

Quote by angus_young_32
I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.


UG Hatecrew FTW
#18
Quote by Ikey
it would be quite fun just to piss off one country and have the rest of the world laughing at them

Now there's a winner. I nominate Canada, since they get made fun of so much anyway.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#22
"I suggest wearing a waterproof rain coat when its cloudy outside because it might rain"
Quote by Kumanji
How about you don't insult my friend's dead mum, you prick.


Quote by JDawg
Too be he had to be a dick about his crayons.
#23
I'm bored, its raining and I'm feeling a little creative, so I guess I'll make a semi-serious response.


"The world... wow. Its a weird feeling knowing that everything I'm saying is being heard by 6 billion people. I can't even start to imagine a number that high. I have the power to say anything I want. Preach my ideals, say hi to Mom and Dad, ask the woman I love to marry me. And yet, I find myself at a loss for words. And since I have 15 minutes, I guess I'll just wing it.

I think... I think the one thing that this world needs is to wake up and realize that there is more to life than waking up everyday, making a cup of coffee, slaving over a computer in a cubicle for 8 hours, coming home and doing it all over again the next day. There is so much untold beauty in the world. People need to appreciate the small things. To take a deep breath and see what we have. What The World has to offer. We need to realize that we are one world and that we need to start acting like it.

The sky is blue and the sun is shining down. We have the oppurtunity to flip this world around, we jsut need to make something happen."


/could be a cheesy movie script
Quote by MakinLattes
dwelling on past mishaps is for the weak. you must stride into the future, unabashed and prepared to fuck up yet again.
#25
"Organic food is a crock, climate change is real, evolution is properly supported, capitalism is a bunch of shit and all of those 3rd world citizens would really appreciate your millions, God isn't real, science and writing and history are the most important subjects to teach, ADHD is a serious disorder, and everything I say is true"

There!
i don't know why i feel so dry
#26
"Listen, there's this website called 'Ultimate-Guitar,' and if you hurry you can stop them from potentially ending western Judeo-Christian society as we know it..."
#27
Quote by thewho65
"Listen, there's this website called 'Ultimate-Guitar,' and if you hurry you can stop them from potentially ending western Judeo-Christian society as we know it..."


[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#29
"4CHAN IS A BAD PLACE! DON'T EVER GO TO /B/ EVAH!

I'd proceed to show them exactly why 4chan is bad: Child pornography.

Yes, I'd show the world child porn.
Quote by pielover375
So last year, I put some potatoes in this jar and forgot about them. Today, I found them, and when I opened the jar, there is a puddle at the bottom and it smells like alcohol. If I drink this, do you think I will die, or have I made potato vodka?
#31
I'd lampoon this website in a comedy song.
"If God exists, there's no way he is French" - Andrea Pirlo

S A D B O Y S
#33
Quote by Kilobyte
See, the whole point of the Game is to have everyone in the world playing, and it's over once that goal has been reached.

Rather than saying that, I'd explain the rules, win the game, and end it once and for all so people stop bringing it up.


Actually, I'd sell that time to corporations. Get them to bid for my speech time, and I'd do adverts for whoever is willing to pay me the most.

hey you... stop thinking logically!

"UG FTW", you know you would too don't lie
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


Quote by ilikepirates
ilikeyou.

not hated
#35
"Religion is the worlds greatest threat."

I'd also tell North Korea to calm the fudge down.
Quote by SlackerBabbath
My ideal woman would be a grossly overweight woman who would happy go jogging, come home all sweaty and let me put my dick under her armpit while she shuffles a pack of cards.

Stay classy, pit.
#36
Quote by bass-man9712
hey you... stop thinking logically!

"UG FTW", you know you would too don't lie

Oops, my bad.


I would fart into the microphone.

Better?

You are standing in an open field west of a white house, with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here.



Steam: | PSN: Zeroxxed | Twitter:
#37
Quote by gacharya
"4CHAN IS A BAD PLACE! DON'T EVER GO TO /B/ EVAH!

I'd proceed to show them exactly why 4chan is bad: Child pornography.

Yes, I'd show the world child porn.

Then when horny asian men save the pics on their phones, you're doing exactly what you tried to stop. Don't fuck with horny asian men. They may be small in stature but they sex like crazy in numbers.
#39
Quote by Twist of fate
Then when horny asian men save the pics on their phones, you're doing exactly what you tried to stop. Don't fuck with horny asian men. They may be small in stature but they sex like crazy in numbers.

Quote by lolmnt
We're better than Mexico cuz we rule USA USA USA
#40
I'd Rick Roll the entire world
Appreciating Metal since 1998



R.I.P - Ronnie James Dio

1942-2010
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