Posted an early rough version of this earlier, finished it now.

Supposed to be a bit more comprehend able then some of my previous stuff, and I was trying to get a bit of influence from The Human Abstract's Nocturne, though you can hardly tell that.

I did have some issues with the length at first, it was around 2:12 with a 20 second version of the acoustic outro. As such, I had to go reuse and add some parts which did somewhat make parts feel less natural and more like filler for me, though maybe it's because I was already accustomed to how it was previously.

I will gladly C4C anything if you want, just know that it might take me a while. I procrastinate a lot but I DO get around to it. ;P

Thanks. ;D
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Last edited by BigBigWater at Sep 6, 2010,
The acoustic is very out of place, the first bar sounds like a phone ringing
Quote by Athabasca
My ex did the same. Cheated on me and then acted like I'd given her sister a facial. Women are retarded.
I quite possibly agree in it being out of place, might add a different bit of intro to transition into it better if needed. It's meant to transition correctly into my next piece though.

Also lmfao@phone. I'm never going to be able to unhear that now. Bastard.
Arms Of Empire
^ ^ ^ Band I am involved in ^ ^ ^
Please check it out? ;D

Axe FX II + EBMM JP6 + Jackson DK2S
Don't know if you saw my comment in your other thread for this, but I'll just say it again to save us all some time haha. That first riff, the harmonisation is still sounding really quirky to my ears, I'm guessing you meant it that way though so I'm not going to go on about key or what ever. Its different, I give you that, but I guess it works.

The second thing I wanted to say was about bar 24 and all repeats of that, the last to eight notes playing e and b, sound off in the context of the entire riff. I believe it may sound better as D and A#, e and c would probably do to, but then that c is repeated in the next bar and it could sound a bit perculiar..

anyway, two minor minor niggles, aside from that its pretty good, the riffs take a bit of getting used to but it definitely hits the spot as a human abstract style piece. You may want to add in a slightly more traditional riff somewhere to break up the quirky THA feel, but thats just a personal thing.

Did you see my little offer in the other thread for this?

Again, though you probably know, anything from my sig is fine to crit. Though I would prefer comments on my progish pieces.

The intro sounds pretty good. I like the offbeat bars a lot as well as the tapping bars, they stick out to me the most. The transition into the second riff (bars 16 and 17) is pretty cool too.

The second riff has a really... odd contrast to it. I can't really put my finger on it... the first three bars of the pattern sound both dark and light at the exact same time, and of course the fourth bar of the pattern sounds very airy. I don't know how you managed to accomplish this but you did!

After you repeat the first section and go onto the third (er? Bars 31 - 34) you really get me. I LOVE this part... the offbeat rhythm borrowed a bit from the intro and the notes work perfectly.

I like the call and response between 46 and 48.

And then the part I like the most returns in full blast with more dissonance. Bar 77 has a little mistake in it, there's a part that isn't being played because it goes over the bar limit. I like the repeat of the theme in consonance as well from bar 89.

The acoustic part seems like it was meant to be relaxing, but it seems to put you on edge.

I liked this, 8/10.