It definantly builds up towards the end, overall it sounds good but very incomplete without a band. I can hear the idea though
Do Emperor Penguins work best for commuting purposes? I listened to your tune. I like it! Much of it reminds me somewhat of an acoustic Smashing Pumpkins. Pretty good guitar playing. You didn't say C4C, but I have yet to get a review from someone in Alaska. My 10 year old daughter thinks she is a polar bear. Here is a link to my tunes:

That was a really nice song. It felt way to short though. I was hoping for a shift of some kind to move the song in a different direction. I don't know if you plan on adding to this or not but I think you could really expand on this. Could you crit my song here
frog_friend and WGP: UG's Kramer brotherhood

Ug's 4th ENGL endorser
Randy Rhoads is god
founder of the "ENGL amps" fanclub. PM me to join