#1
Hey, so I've never written lyrics before and nor do i sing or scream. I just felt like it so I wrote some lyrics. They are probably really shitty but let me know what you think!

While getting the blood off my hands
I had a realization of what I've now become.
Disgusted, but proud to be
The way your ****ed up god created me

Your scent is driving me crazy, now knowing it is almost gone.
Gazing into blank eyes
Drinking the blood of a previous loved one
I have only few minutes left to spend.

Too big of mistakes to ever be forgiven
I crave my sentence while rotting in my cell
Never forgetting that night
The reality will never change

The preist is reading me my last rights
I spit blasphemy in his face
Squeeze the syringe, insert the needle
I won't die, I will live on.

I will live on
I will live on

Please don't be too harsh. They are probably really bad but I'd rather you guys tell me than my band haha.
#2
Alright but just seemed a bit depressing to me.

A little off-topic but why do all these lyric threads always overuse words like blood/death/dying? Is everyone really that negative here?
#3
Quote by JayLacelle
Alright but just seemed a bit depressing to me.

A little off-topic but why do all these lyric threads always overuse words like blood/death/dying? Is everyone really that negative here?

It's for the br00talz! LOL.
I play metalcore.... so yeah haha. But I don't like lyrics like that all the time though. It's just what I had for an idea. If these are decent lyrics, and if I try writing again it won't be about murder or nothing lol
#5
I like it, is it going to be sung or screamed?

also, about lyrics being so negative, I think its easer to write about things like blood death and gore then it is to write about sunshine and daises... its because we can all relate somehow to them and the downer emotions can be inspirational...
Last edited by Stillanovice at Sep 10, 2010,
#6
Quote by Stillanovice
I like it, is it going to be sung or screamed?

also, about lyrics being so negative, I think its easer to write about things like blood death and gore then it is to write about sunshine and daises... its because we can all relate somehow to them and the downer emotions can be inspirational...


I'm not saying write about sunshine and daisies...but honestly who can relate to this stuff? Have you ever "drank the blood of a previous loved one"?

My suggestion was just to write songs about experiences people can relate to.
#7
it's about someone who killed someone and receives lethal injection right?


Your scent is driving me crazy, now knowing it is almost gone.
Gazing into blank eyes
Drinking the blood of a previous loved one
I have only few minutes left to spend.

Is this song addressed to the victim? is it their scent? is it the scent of their blood from the murder?
If that's the case, i think this verse should go first. he's smelling the scent of murder, drinks the blood (vampire?), then he's getting the blood off his hands and thinking about who he is. then looks back on it. then is executed.

I think my version has a stronger narrative. not sure if that's what you're describing. but as it is I think the 2nd verse doesn't fit.

the few minutes he has left to spend. i think that means savouring the kill. that line plus the 'drink blood' line makes me think he enjoyed the kill. if that's true. i also think the 1st adn 2nd verses should be flipped.