169290
Banned
Join date: Oct 2005
820 IQ
#1
Its finished now so a proper crit would be appreciated I no the drums arnt very good but i cba to try and make new parts for each riff!

C4C!

Thanks!

Edit: Uploaded a new version with parts of "Freak44" version
Edit: Finished it now just need to do up the drums
Edit: improved drums added new solo and edited outro
Edit: changed verse and drums slightly
Attachments:
song1.gpx
song1.gp5
song1.mid
Last edited by 169290 at Sep 20, 2010,
brandon2784
UG's Oli Herbert wannabe
Join date: Oct 2007
882 IQ
#2
ssaight nothing groundbreaking but it has potential.
"Could everyone please stop sounding like everyone else that's trying to sound like meshuggah?"

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100%
Metal
Join date: Nov 2009
660 IQ
#3
sounds pretty good
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theogonia777
Miss Kristen
Join date: Jun 2009
2,130 IQ
#4
Quote by brandon2784
ssaight nothing groundbreaking but it has potential.


this
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Read this please.
169290
Banned
Join date: Oct 2005
820 IQ
#5
ok guys i didnt mean that rough! bit more than that please!
169290
Banned
Join date: Oct 2005
820 IQ
#7
Quote by Freak44
made a few edits thought your song was awesome \m/~


gotta say you did a pretty good job i do like it and i will use it
169290
Banned
Join date: Oct 2005
820 IQ
#8
I uploaded a new version using some of "Freak44" changes
andre27
Registered User
Join date: Jul 2009
621 IQ
#9
Doing a fast crit as i listen.

Do some more mixing, all the volume knobs are at 11 and the panning is all at 0. Its pretty short so i suggest you add some more, as you have quite a few solid ideas already. If I were you I'd play around more with thirds to get some more harmony going. The last riff tat starts at bar 35 is great, extend it and play around with it.

All in all, its not something incredibly new to the genre, but nevertheless it is a solid song which needs a major extension.

C4C "Stars to Live By" in the sig please
169290
Banned
Join date: Oct 2005
820 IQ
#10
finished now! the drums could do with a bit of a doing up but hey!

andre27 i will crit that tomorrow bit busy today
champayne
Sexual Harassment Panda
Join date: Sep 2006
843 IQ
#13
Very Unearth-y sounding (as if it could be on III - In the Eyes of Fire). That being said, it's pretty good. Like, really good. It's also generic, though it's more original than the better half of the metalcore songs here. But I don't really keep genericism in mind when critting songs here, so let's move on. It really has the same structure as a expected, but it flows, and that's all that matters. The first riff reminds of Unearth the most. The riff preceding the pre-verse is one of my favorites. The chorus jumps back into the intro verse without much trouble, and the song flows from there. 106 pre-solo was pretty insane, and the solo followed from there, then it went back to build up. The outro was one of the more original riffs I saw in this song. All in all, it was definitely a great song, with the "metalcore" label or without. Despite the somewhat basic structure and lackluster drums, this is definitely something I would listen to in my free time. There is still some room for improvement, but it is a solid piece.

8/10.

C4C? The Nightman Awakens in my sig.

P.S. What's with the lack of actual crits?
Quote by RhyseOrtiz
Banned because.. that was brilliant, champayne


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169290
Banned
Join date: Oct 2005
820 IQ
#14
Quote by champayne
what's with the lack of actual crits?


I dont acctully no but things like "Metal!" or "No comment" really arnt helpful! lol
But cheers for the crit ill get on to yours now!
DaddyTwoFoot
Barned
Join date: Oct 2004
338 IQ
#16
This piece is very awesome. Great job! It had an Unearth vibe to it. It would obviously benefit from a real drummer but it is very good as it is.
Quote by dudetheman
So what? I wasted like 5 minutes watching DaddyTwoFoot's avatar.


Metalheads are the worst thing that ever happened to metal.