Poll: Topic.
Poll Options
View poll results: Topic.
Nothing because I met her the way she is now and thats all thats important.
5 8%
Enough to truly know what she has the nerve/heart to do. I'd like to know the real him/her.
49 78%
Other.
9 14%
Voters: 63.
#1
Nothing because I met her the way she is now and thats all thats important.

Enough to truly know what she has the nerve/heart to do. I'd like to know the real him/her.


I'm asking because of the complications that may occur in a relationship.


Two sayings

"To know your future you must know your past"

"Ignorance is bliss"

Avoid unnecessary problems? Sparking insecurities? Getting to know your spouse?


Yeah yeah relationship thread. I wanted to make a poll.


Video of interest

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpQqH4H_SUQ&feature=related
Last edited by Phazon at Sep 13, 2010,
#2
To know if she has aids....
Quote by lambofgod127
btw im in hs and im almost 18 so if u do think she was flirting with me dont say that its wrong im almost a grown man.




༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽ WE ARE ROB ༼ ▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿ ༽
#5
I love her as she is. I can still know what she's done in the past. I couldn't care less what she's done, it wouldn't make me like her any less for who she is today. So I'd like to know everything. We have no secrets.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#6
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I love her as she is. I can still know what she's done in the past. I couldn't care less what she's done, it wouldn't make me like her any less for who she is today. So I'd like to know everything. We have no secrets.


You say that now but if you learn little things here and there you don't think that there might be something about her that you really despise in people? Even if she isn't that person anymore. As long as she understands what she did or learns from it then everything is all good. It's best not to make the same mistakes twice but if someone is naturally prone to doing certain things... it kind of brings up questions.

Unless of course you're blissfully in love.
#7
Quote by Phazon
You say that now but if you learn little things here and there you don't think that there might be something about her that you really despise in people? Even if she isn't that person anymore. As long as she understands what she did or learns from it then everything is all good. It's best not to make the same mistakes twice but if someone is naturally prone to doing certain things... it kind of brings up questions.

Unless of course you're blissfully in love.

I've known my girlfriend since about a week after she was born, brah. We grew up together. There are a lot of things about my girlfriend that I despise in people. So that's irrelevant. She has also occasionally made some really stupid mistakes while we were together. But, being in love is a learning process. She is learning. So I can overlook some things.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
Last edited by Jack Off Jill at Sep 13, 2010,
#8
Quote by Spartan101400
In the words of Jim Carrey: "Credit Card numbers, Bank code, Sexual Fantasies and little white lies."


In other words, EVERYTHING!

you win both for your statement and having dr. insano as an avatar

gleeheheeeheeee
SCIENCE!
#9
i like to know as much as i can. i couldve saved a lot of pain knowing things about any of my girlfriends beforehand
Geets:
Ibanez GSA60
Epiphone SG/LP custom
Schecter Damien elite 7
Fender Highway one Telecaster

Pedals:
Visual sound Jekyll and Hyde


Amp:
Peavey 6505
Marshall M412a cab
Peavey Classic 50

GO STEELERS!
#10
Haven't been in a real relationship, so I honestly don't know I think it would depend on how much I trust that they've moved on from any bad experiences that they had.

EDIT: And now that I'm in college I hope that the old things matter even less, since we have such a different environment now (or will once I move out on Friday).
Quote by lolmnt
We're better than Mexico cuz we rule USA USA USA
Last edited by DimebagLivesOn at Sep 13, 2010,
#11
Quote by Jack Off Jill

There are a lot of things about my girlfriend that I despise in people. So that's irrelevant.



Quote by Jack Off Jill
But, being in love is a learning process. She is learning. So I can overlook some things.


That sounds very naive. But I don't know you two.


Being in love? Or holding a relationship? Is a learning process?

It just takes a little common sense to know what and what not to do in a relationship.
Keeping a mutual understanding is something a lot of people don't really bother with and thats what makes things difficult. Brah.
#12
He means that he keeps learning more about her, of course he knows how to act.
Quote by lolmnt
We're better than Mexico cuz we rule USA USA USA
#13
Quote by Phazon
That sounds very naive. But I don't know you two.


Being in love? Or holding a relationship? Is a learning process?

It just takes a little common sense to know what and what not to do in a relationship.
Keeping a mutual understanding is something a lot of people don't really bother with and thats what makes things difficult. Brah.

I would say that is why the divorce rate is so high. However, I mean.. Learning to be in a relationship with someone is a learning process. We've both been in long term relationships, and on general levels, the lessons learned in them can apply to our relationship. However, there are a lot of small variables that we have to take into account with this one. We care about each other a lot, which means just because someone did something in their past relationship, does not mean that it will be done in this one. And we have to deal with things when the other does something we don't like. Not just say, "I don't like that, I'm going to go over here now and find someone who does things differently." But, she is my best friend. Best friends piss each other off, and do things that can be hurtful to one another. So I can over look them, so long as there are honest attempts to rectify negative behavior. It's not naive at all. But, both being in love and being in a relationship are a learning process. And it's not always as simple as, "a little common sense." Sometimes things get grey. How am I supposed to have a mutual understanding without a few mistakes along the way?
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#14
^last two lines would make interesting lyrics.


Of course they'll always be something. Nobody is perfect. But do the ends justify the means? Kind of sounds messed up to view people like that.

By the way. Unless you're looking at things objectively everyone tends to over complicate things. Just need to take a step back. ANYWAYS.

Knowing little things about someone sometimes makes that idea.. kind of hidden.. but always in the back of your mind... Yar har!
Last edited by Phazon at Sep 13, 2010,
#15
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I would say that is why the divorce rate is so high. However, I mean.. Learning to be in a relationship with someone is a learning process. We've both been in long term relationships, and on general levels, the lessons learned in them can apply to our relationship. However, there are a lot of small variables that we have to take into account with this one. We care about each other a lot, which means just because someone did something in their past relationship, does not mean that it will be done in this one. And we have to deal with things when the other does something we don't like. Not just say, "I don't like that, I'm going to go over here now and find someone who does things differently." But, she is my best friend. Best friends piss each other off, and do things that can be hurtful to one another. So I can over look them, so long as there are honest attempts to rectify negative behavior. It's not naive at all. But, both being in love and being in a relationship are a learning process. And it's not always as simple as, "a little common sense." Sometimes things get grey. How am I supposed to have a mutual understanding without a few mistakes along the way?

listen to this man, he knows what he's talking about. And dude, that is one of the most mature things I've read on this topic. Relationships revolve around mutual understanding, and that means that relationships are a "growing together" kind of thing. there is no such thing as a perfect ralationship, people need to learn how to be with each other.
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Sep 13, 2010,
#16
While it is indeed good to be able to love her for who she is, it personally gives me a lot more comfort knowing a reasonable bit about the past. It's good to know what's made them, them.
#17
Quote by DimebagLivesOn
He means that he keeps learning more about her, of course he knows how to act.

I would say that the allotted two answers to the question are silly. It's either, I know about her past and if I don't like it, I can choose to not be with her. Which seems silly. Because it'd be like not allowing my brother to watch my dog cause he killed his goldfish when he was fourteen. Or, being unaware of it and letting my little brother watch my dog and then he kills it, and I was unaware of the risk. I'd rather be aware of the risk and give somebody a chance. And if I care about them enough, even if they make a second mistake, give them another chance until they figure out how to do something correctly.

That isn't to say that I would date anyone who has a problematic past. But the question involved my significant other, so I answered how I feel about mine. I haven't done it with everybody. I've had exes who made one mistake, and that was it. But it didn't make me any happier. I'm much happier working through differences.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#18
Quote by Phazon
^last two lines would make interesting lyrics.


Of course they'll always be something. Nobody is perfect. But do the ends justify the means? Kind of sounds messed up to view people like that.

By the way. Unless you're looking at things objectively everyone tends to over complicate things. Just need to take a step back. ANYWAYS.

Knowing little things about someone sometimes makes that idea.. kind of hidden.. but always in the back of your mind... Yar har!

Well, of course there are always going to be things on the back of your mind. But that's true of anything. I've been in several car accidents, two of which almost killed me. That's always been in the back of my mind. But I'd still much rather drive than walk and be on the safe side. That said, if I was ONLY getting into car accidents, I'd probably start walking.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#19
Quote by Jack Off Jill
I would say that the allotted two answers to the question are silly. It's either, I know about her past and if I don't like it, I can choose to not be with her. Which seems silly. Because it'd be like not allowing my brother to watch my dog cause he killed his goldfish when he was fourteen. Or, being unaware of it and letting my little brother watch my dog and then he kills it, and I was unaware of the risk. I'd rather be aware of the risk and give somebody a chance. And if I care about them enough, even if they make a second mistake, give them another chance until they figure out how to do something correctly.

That isn't to say that I would date anyone who has a problematic past. But the question involved my significant other, so I answered how I feel about mine. I haven't done it with everybody. I've had exes who made one mistake, and that was it. But it didn't make me any happier. I'm much happier working through differences.


You still need to draw the line somewhere. If you're always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt then whats to stop you from sticking with one person and 'working through differences' no matter what?

I'm sure that if you're in a serious relationship you should already know what's right and wrong. If you're contemplating marriage you don't need to be treated like a child.
There is no "I didn't know I couldn't do that" with these kinds of things. Now whether or not you choose to put up with those 'mistakes' is up to you. I probably don't have your kind of tolerance and find people accountable for their actions. Especially if you're talking about a serious relationship.

Perhaps you're confusing teenage relationships with adult ones. Teen years is a time FOR mistakes. If you're over your 20's you should have been around long enough to know whats what. If a person realizes a mistake they've done in their past and acknowledge it then great. But if the person is just like that and its part of their lifestyle/personality, then thats where my question comes in.
Whether you Learn now or you learn later. Whether you really stick with 'no matter what' or you get screwed down the road when you realize you two just aren't having it.

You don't just start learning about them when things get serious. You learn about them before. That's what the 'friends' part is for.
Last edited by Phazon at Sep 13, 2010,
#20
I believe I just addressed that in my last post.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
#22
Quote by Phazon
I believe you are wrong.

Read it again. I said it would be enough if there were problems and no progress. I never said a thing about, "no matter what." I think your options are silly, and that there is a middle ground. Being oblivious to something makes no sense, as I don't believe I could really love somebody if I didn't know things about them. So I obviously wouldn't choose that. But at the same time, what I do know isn't necessarily going to make me want to not be with them. It's that simple. You're inferring that I wouldn't break up with her for any reason.

The best example I can think of is my father, I suppose. He used drugs since he was a kid up until I was 17 or 18. He tried several times to quit, and failed. That doesn't mean I would walk away from him while he's trying to quit. If he is making an honest attempt to quit, I stick by his side, even if he has a slip or two. If he stops trying, then I'll lose hope in him and walk away.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.
Last edited by Jack Off Jill at Sep 13, 2010,
#23


No progress with what? It's as simple as yes or no. Whether you're cool with something or you're not.
You don't wait for the relationship to get serious to learn about potential problems.

Alright I'm going to set you up for this one...

So you believe once you marry there is absolutely nothing from her past that can change the course of the relationship?

Some people change and some don't. What might seem normal for her may seem wrong to you. One of you will have to bend because that's part of your personality. I'm not going to say it's not possible to hold that kind of relationship but it would be a lot less practical.

Quote by Jack Off Jill
I would say that the allotted two answers to the question are silly. It's either, I know about her past and if I don't like it, I can choose to not be with her. Which seems silly. Because it'd be like not allowing my brother to watch my dog cause he killed his goldfish when he was fourteen.


So you'd be in a serious relationship with someone who doesn't know right and wrong.

I'd lay my standards down way before things get serious.

Quote by Jack Off Jill
But at the same time, what I do know isn't necessarily going to make me want to not be with them.


I'm not saying it necessarily will. I'm saying whether or not you'd take the risk in digging into something and finding something you don't like. If you dig far enough that means you care. At least to some degree. But that might not be enough to justify a certain truth about somebody.
Last edited by Phazon at Sep 13, 2010,
#25
Pin number and where she keeps her credit card.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#26
I don't need to know every detailed bit of minutia, but I know about all of the pertinent things. Our experiences are what mold us into who we are, so to understand who she is, I need to understand who she was.
#27
Hardly anything, I prefer the mystery. Girls don't have to worry about telling too much though, I forget things easily.
████████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
█████████████████████████
██████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
#28
Where the **** is she??? (or he....) Pencil Man, looking at you.
Quote by Athabasca
My ex did the same. Cheated on me and then acted like I'd given her sister a facial. Women are retarded.
#30
Jack Off Jill should stop bullshitting about being in love.

We all know the only reason he let his woman stick around is because she dressed up as Misty for him.


Quote by Våd Hamster
Find a dice and assign a number to each girl. Throw the dice.


The number you hope for at the moment you throw the dice, is the one you'll want to keep.
#32
Quote by Deadlock Riff
What would my answer be if i was in love with myself?



You know your own hand better than anyone else.
#34
What her name is and where she lives would be a nice start. The rest i'll deal with later.

Though i'm a nosy bastard so i'll probably wanna know everything once I find a woman who doesn't actively avoid being near me.
#35
Quote by thanksgiving
Jack Off Jill should stop bullshitting about being in love.

We all know the only reason he let his woman stick around is because she dressed up as Misty for him.

And Supergirl.
Quote by vintage x metal
I love you =] I can't say I was very fond of you when we first started talking because you trolled the hell out of my threads, but after talking to you here I've grown very attached to you.

Yeah, write to my fanclub about it, honey.