Poll: Voting
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5 45%
2 18%
2 18%
2 18%
0 0%
Voters: 11.
It's been a while but here is the next round.

As usual, vote for the piece that has the best overall impression, including, but not limited to musicality, originality, structure, feeling and so on.

Crits and comments are appreciated

Good luck to everyone
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Last edited by thorbor at Sep 13, 2010,
Critting as I listen...

diamond.joker: Incredibly catchy and fun to follow along to. I really like how you layered everything in A and then took the level way down in B to contrast.

I like the drums in B2 a lot. The solo in D2 is nice and quite fitting. E2 is a very nice build up, and you utilized the drums specially well here.

The outro reminds me of Post-Rock, something I love quite a bit. A very nice climax to the whole piece. It ended rather abruptly however. I can see what you were aiming for but it took a lot of power away from the climax. Even a chord on the piano would've sufficed but I don't know... too empty.

A very nice piece nonetheless. The flow, the change of dynamics and the climax were all executed very well. The only issue I had was the outro.

JazzDeath: The chords are very colorful, that's the first that came to my mind. The riffing style in verse one is very nice and techdethy (Martyr and Obscura spring to mind). I do question the playability of some parts (ie. bar 39) but its more the way you've written them. I'm sure they can be shifted around.

The chorus was quite catchy and I notice your song writing skills are quite the shit. The shifting rhythms in "Mid-Bridge" force my attention, so that's a very welcome change.

I'm not terribly sure about the mixture of clean guitars in "Chorus 2" but I think it might be GuitarPro since I've heard Alarum pull it off a whole bunch of times. The solo was wonderful though, not overdone at all. The "Post-Solo" build-up worked wonderfully to highlight "Chorus 2". The ending was original and fresh, so that's a big plus.

I really like the song and being a techdeth fan myself, I get what you're doing. The only part that was off was the "chorus 2" where cleans were mixed with distorted guitars. It took away something imo. The rest was very very well done.

MapOfYourHead: For some reason the first few bars reminded me a lot of old school video games (ie Final Fantasy I-IV, Chrono Trigger, etc). Must be the MIDI, lol. The way track four comes in the intro is slightly abrupt. However, what follows is nice. The drums were also very nice and catchy in A.

As odd as it is, the dissonance before C is beautiful. The guitar fill that starts at bar 55 sounded out of scale but I got the idea. I love the way the fretless bass is utilized from bar 74 onwards.

The solo was quite nice. Very different from what I've used to so that's good. The outro worked quite well here I think.

I found the song rather soothing to listen to at times, and at other times the odd rhythms got my attention as I pathetically tried to follow along. Both times, I really liked what the song had to offer. My only complaint would be that some lead guitar fills in the song were a bit too abrupt or dissonant. The song imo, would've been better off without them.

MetalIronForce: I haven't heard too much blues so keep that in mind while you read the crit.

The intro is quite nice although I'm not to keen on the way an acoustic guitar would sound playing all the way up at the 21th fret but musically, the lead sounds great. The Main Riff serves its purpose well. "Verse 1" is nice though not terribly memorable. The "Solo" on the other hand, was quite nice since the rhythm of the song was shaken up a bit with triplets and all.

"Lead 2" could use more variation since the song is generally repetitive and having the leads repeat overdoes it. The "Bass Solo" was nice and fresh in terms of building up for the solo, but I think it would've been better if during bars 87-88 it had done something a tad bit more climactic.

"Solo 2A" was nice, although I'm getting weary of the lack of I don't know... dynamics. Like its all eights or triplets. "Solo 2B" took me quite by surprise with the intensity of the tapping. That is good. However, you didn't really make the most of it since the climactic feel didnt remain and the solo went back to eights and quarters. The ending was perfect and it fit with the whole "jam" feel.

Overall, the song was nice but it did suffer from a lack of dynamics. A lot of it was the same rhythms over and over, which isn't that bad in terms of rhythm guitar. It was the lead guitar that was supposed to go that extra mile and spice up things and that's exactly what didn't happen.

Its not hard to notice that you did have a few ideas to spice things up (ie "bridge", "bass solo" and the first part of "Solo 2B") but imo, you didn't build on them as much as you could have and the momentum of the song remained large the same.

...I wrote too much again... Dammit . Anyways, I haven't decided who to vote for yet but most of these compositions were fairly impressive so its not going to be terribly easy to decide that.
Make sure you listen to my one with RSE. It's not mixed for midi. if you have no choice, its still listenable, but bear in mind its meant for RSE.

Are we supposed to pick our favourite from our battle group? And whats to stop you voting for yourself? We should maybe have a rule where you should pm the contest runner with who you voted for, and if the results dont match up, then someone lied.
Musical Theatre! *jazz hands*

...what am I doing on this site...
Last edited by MetaIronForce at Sep 13, 2010,
Quote by MetaIronForce
Make sure you listen to my one with RSE. It's not mixed for midi. if you have no choice, its still listenable, but bear in mind its meant for RSE.

Are we supposed to pick our favourite from our battle group? And whats to stop you voting for yourself? We should maybe have a rule where you should pm the contest runner with who you voted for, and if the results dont match up, then someone lied.

then you vote for yourself.

It's worked in the past, and it'll work now ;] You fret, young one.
That wouldn't work, there are people who vote and listen to the songs (or maybe don't even listen and just vote) that don't leave comments, that wouldn't send the pms, that don't care, etc. Wouldn't work at all.

Anyway, the fairest thing would actually be... that everyone votes for themselves. Therefore wll, everyone gets an extra point, and no one can complain that hey, someone voted for themselves - we all did and we all have equal grounds on it, and well if you forget, then that's your own fault
Last edited by JazzDeath at Sep 13, 2010,
Diamond Joker

Nice drum intro, and I liked the clean following it, and the buildup is done very well.
B was a good release, and he chords were great. C was nice, and has good continuation of previous feel.

Same for D, although it incorporated more of a minor feel than previously. E had the same effect as B, and was great. Buildup was good, and Outro had alot of momentum and epicness.

Overall, great piece. I like how your able to incorporate subliminally dissonant themes into things, like with those Half step chord harmonies.


Great song, and probably one of my favorites from your pieces. Themes in the song are awesome, with great chord choices. For some reason I feel like bar 173 should have a "Fake" buildup, by repeating it a few times, and then going to bar 174.

If that makes any sense.

Limaj Daas

Sorry, but only original material is accepted in this contest.

JOKING. We just got this piece for out schools concert band, but its the original version.

This one is much better.

I think the best crit I can give, is... "LulzLMAO. Good piece."


Interesting dissonance throughout the whole song. I really like the resolves you use. Hell, you have such a strange style, I don't know how to crit it. I can tell you its a great song, but I can't describe it.


Good jam, great hard rock.


Im tied between DiamondJoker and JazzDeath. Gah, both great comps.

I may just abstain rather than take a side.
Honestly, I've never really seen anything wrong with voting for yourself, there's usually a pretty good chance you're going to like your song the most, it's been written to your preferences. Anyway, my vote goes to MapOfYourHead, love those Aphex Twin inspired drums.
Thanks for the crits everyone, but remember that I had to upload it before I could finish it.
Quote by Limaj_daas
For some reason the first few bars reminded me a lot of old school video games (ie Final Fantasy I-IV, Chrono Trigger, etc).

I have never played any of those games


You made the track feel very thick and full through good instrumentation, nothing is unnecessary, it all has purpose. Some of the musical content bored me slightly, but that's my personal preference. Section D was pretty sexy though.


Transition at bar 74 (Mid-Bridge) was non-existent, which although it isn't always a bad thing, it doesn't work in this case. The acoustic arps before the solo were good and the solo itself was well placed thought-out. The ending was a bit abrupt and the motif you ended on wasn't very strong to begin with.

Limaj Daas

I see what you did there....


Good melodies ans structure. It wasn't overly inventive but it does what it set out to do.
I see I'm doing extremely well in the polls

Well ok, it is like the only hard blues rock on the whole forum... (from what I've seen).
Musical Theatre! *jazz hands*

...what am I doing on this site...
well, you know what I'm thinking of your songs in general. You already know that this song has the best intro you have ever written


Intro started ncie but it feels like it could be developed a bit. Maybe it's just that I listened to diamndjokers intro right before this, which is really awesome. I like the chord in bar 17.

Verse 1 is pretty much typical Jazzdeath stuff, same goes for the following chorus and pre chorus. The chorus starts out ncie with a cool rhythm, but you don't have any interesting features in there for me anyway.

Part 2 intr is a good change. You really know how to give instrumentals a kind of storyline.

I like the clena guitar in the second chorus. The transition to the solo s flawless.

The solo itself is not really my cup of tea, rather boring for me. It doesn't stand out that much because this part also has that usual Jazzdeathy feel, fast complex drums and all instruments playing different melodies that still fit together nicely.

I like the last chorus 2 after that, probably ma favorite part here because it sums up the rest of the song and it has that sort of relaxing feel that you need after a long listen.

All in all it's not my type of song. I either love your songs or find them boring and this time it's the latter. Still, I totally appreciate the musicianship here and it's easily 10/10

Limaj daas

At first I have to say that I never listened to any of lady gagas songs so can't know how you actually worked with that song. I know how difficult original covers can be though.

Okay, after a first listen, I think I'll quickly check out pokerface

ALright, after listening ti the original, the intr got me moving. It's a shame that you gone over to a boring cliche metal riff that packs no punch at all.

Another thing is that you didn't worked the main factor of the original into your song, from my understanding of the song that is the "releasing" character of the chorus. Everything is constructed in order to make the chorus stand out more to create an even catchier hook. In order to achieve that, most of the riffs in the original are dark and have a tension to it that gets released in the chorus so you have a strong rise and fall of suspense.

And well, that point is not worked out in your song that much. All your parts pack an equal amount of punch and the couple of breaks you have worked in are not strong enough to make that up.

The leads are good but could be better. I'd like to see the lead in the pre-chorus more developed. It's an awesome lick but you haven't used that potential.
The licks as im bar 56 are not my type. I'd suggest cutting off the last 3 notes there and the bend and just ending it on the 14th fret. The bend totally takes away all the tension you can build up with such a lick.
The first solo sounds good in a metal song, but it's not that interesting. Basically it consists of different licks which change after 4 beats. Of course, it does work on stage and on a record, but it will remain at that average-good leven and not go beyong that if you don't make it interesting by linking all the licks.
With other words, everyone ca throw a few riffs together but it takes more to build a good song and that applies to solos and licks, too.
In bar 94 you could have at least changed that lick. It's one of the points where the song loses his special character and becomes more of a copy+paste thing.

The second solo at bar 128 is much better because of the gloomy note choice and phrasing in the first few bars. Bar 125 is awful though. Repeating sweeping patterns are just boring. You can get a way with it if it's just a single bar and in fact, it does work fine in the first bar, but there's no point in repeating it. The chords you sweep there aren't even suggesting a repition since the chord progression wouldn't fit the sound of the previous bars.

All in all I could imagine this song on a real record. As I hinted before, I was expecting a really special song, but you turned an average pop song into an average metal song. You didn't make any mistakes or anything but you're giving it a new dimension either.

That crit may sound harsh, but I still like that song nonetheless.


I don't know what to say about this. It got me foot tapping, that much is clear. And I didn't know what to make of this song until I heard the outro.

I don't know how man, but the C part, especially that last one in the outro, has a really strange feel to it. Almost a psychedelic feel for me. It magically sums up the first of half of the song and somehow explains the strangeness of the other parts. THis is definitely one of those songs that get better the more you listen to them.

I'm sorry, I can't crit anything in detail here because I don't even understand it myself. I can only say that the C part is epic. Please develop that more.

You might get some cool ideas when you play around with time signatures. Making the 8th bar of tha riff a 6/8 seems to work.


As much as I love blues and rock, it's just not the right thing to submit in a contest. You don't to anything wrong but you don't come up with new ideas either. There's not much to crit since your song is pretty much flawless. There were like 2 or 3 licks or notes in your solos that drew my attnetion but that's it.

On a side note, you should think about using more vibrato and more pauses in your solos to customize them.
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