The message in this song is that the person writing is Jesus, but he doesn't realize it until it's too late.

Stand and Fall

Verse 1:
I hung there
Eyes opened wide
Arms spread bolder
Death at my shoulder

No room for breath
Heart black as death
As I watch from here
Take those I hold dear

I stand and I fall
I’ve given my all
Though you’ll just watch
As I stand and fall

Verse 2:
Emotions hold me back
My vision turns to black
Feelings form my weakness
I wonder, “Where is Jesus?”


I’m crying in the rain
As the angels mock me
Creating pain like walls
Laughing while I fall


As I enter into @#!*%
The devil turns to tell
He says, “Sit down, my son
For the war has been won”

Some of the rhymes seem a bit obvious (fall - all, black - back.) Just felt like I could guess them before I read them. Otherwise though, its not bad. Could just use a little more work, and hey, everyone loves songs about Jesus

I am the King of Carrot Flowers

I have to agree with JezuzFingerz. The rhymes really hold the piece back. Don't getting me wrong I love rhymes but here they seem too obvious, too juvenile. Also I think there needs to be a little more description. At the end of the piece a war ios mentioned, but that comes out of nowhere. I wish you would've mentioned it somehow. You just seem to condense everything too much. In reality you could probably spread this over 2 or 3 songs if you gave some more details. Anyways, I hope this helps and I hope to read more from you.

Crit mine please