Page 1 of 2
#1
If they were real...


Did they have belly buttons!??!?!!???
[img]http://i.imgur.com/LYZyCdp.gif[/img]


Quote by CrossBack7
Momie's like not even a real person, just an asian, lesbian spirit.
#5
I think this is actually a very important question. If they were indeed made in god's image, does that mean God doesn't have a bellybutton?

Weirdo.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#7
No, they would still have their umbilical cords since they weren't given birth to.
キタ━━━━(・∀・)━━━━!!
Quote by Ichikurosaki
shred knows more about everything than anyone i think

Quote by IchiKurosaki
i hope we never meet shjred honestly i love you but im scared of you
#9
I'd say no, but this is the same guy who created the appendix and double chins, so we might never know.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
Last edited by whalepudding at Sep 15, 2010,
#10
Quote by Shredoftheday
No, they would still have their umbilical cords since they weren't given birth to.


They wouldn't have had one in the first place.
#11
Quote by Bearded_Seth
They wouldn't have had one in the first place.

Wouldn't it be still attached to God?
キタ━━━━(・∀・)━━━━!!
Quote by Ichikurosaki
shred knows more about everything than anyone i think

Quote by IchiKurosaki
i hope we never meet shjred honestly i love you but im scared of you
#12
Quote by Shredoftheday
Wouldn't it be still attached to God?

That would be one hell of an umbilical cord.

Edit: Thank god someone got it, I thought I might have been to vague.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
Last edited by Victory2134 at Sep 15, 2010,
#13
Quote by Victory2134
That would be one hell of an umbilical cord.

キタ━━━━(・∀・)━━━━!!
Quote by Ichikurosaki
shred knows more about everything than anyone i think

Quote by IchiKurosaki
i hope we never meet shjred honestly i love you but im scared of you
#14
Quote by Shredoftheday
Wouldn't it be still attached to God?

what a fucking weird mental image
#15
If they existed No.
But you gotta think...where would the lint go?
Too Many Religious People And Not Enough Lions
#16
Quote by jeffmetalhead
If they existed No.
But you gotta think...where would the lint go?

Under nails, between toes. You know all the other places lint gets stu-wait a minute!

Where is all this lint coming from anyways?!
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#17
Yep, they did, because they were not the first humans.
The Bible depicts Adam and Eve as living around the time of the Neolithic Revolution. (onset of agriculture) James Ussher, the Anglican Archbishop of Armagh, famously worked out when they lived using the biblical chronologies of characters and working backwards to Adam and Eve, which he dates as about 6000 years ago.

That date actualy coincides with the 'Uruk period' which saw the emergence of urban life in Mesopotamia.

When we read the story of Adam and Eve, it seems to involve a lot of agriculture, the growing of fruit in a garden suggests an orchard and the word 'paradise', often associated with the Garden of Eden, is derived from a Persian word used to indicate walled estates.
Adam and Eve's sons Cain and Able were also obviously agricultural, as Cain is depicted as a crop farmer and his younger brother Abel as a shepherd.

And where was the Garden of Eden?
Well Genesis says this;
“And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became four heads. The name of the first is Pishon; that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold; and the gold of that land is good; there is bdellium and the onyx stone. And the name of the second river is Gihon; the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Cush. And the name of the third river is Tigris; that is it which goeth toward the east of Asshur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.”

That places it in Mesopotamia, which actualy means "land between the rivers" and was situated in what is known as modern day Iraq. It also gives us another dating clue, because the Euphrates river system was only formed after the last major glaciation started to end and the glaciers started to melt in the Taurus mountains in Turkey around 12,000 years ago. So obviously if the Garden of Eden can be dated to between 12,000 and 6000 years ago, and considering that the human race has been around for at least 200,000 years and originated in Africa rather than Mesopotamia, then it is obvious that the story is metaphorical rather than factual.
#18
Quote by SlackerBabbath
So obviously if the Garden of Eden can be dated to between 12,000 and 6000 years ago, and considering that the human race has been around for at least 200,000 years and originated in Africa rather than Mesopotamia, then it is obvious that the story is metaphorical rather than factual.

However the fact that the story is metaphorical is already implied by the thread's title and thus that explanation is irrelevant to OP's actual question since your answer to the actual question is made given the fact that it is metaphorical
キタ━━━━(・∀・)━━━━!!
Quote by Ichikurosaki
shred knows more about everything than anyone i think

Quote by IchiKurosaki
i hope we never meet shjred honestly i love you but im scared of you
Last edited by Shredoftheday at Sep 15, 2010,
#19
Quote by Shredoftheday
However the fact that the story is metaphorical is already implied by the thread's title and thus that explanation is irrelevant to OP's actual question.



Yes it is, because if they were real, they would have belly buttons, because they weren't the first humans.
No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable


@gossage91
@overtimefitnessau
#20
Quote by jambi_mantra
Yes it is, because if they were real, they would have belly buttons, because they weren't the first humans.

Because the thread's entitled 'hypothetical adam and eve question', if they were 'real' then they would be the first humans.
キタ━━━━(・∀・)━━━━!!
Quote by Ichikurosaki
shred knows more about everything than anyone i think

Quote by IchiKurosaki
i hope we never meet shjred honestly i love you but im scared of you
#21
Quote by Shredoftheday
Because the thread's entitled 'hypothetical adam and eve question', if they were 'real' then they would be the first humans.



But they wouldn't.
No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable


@gossage91
@overtimefitnessau
#22
Quote by Shredoftheday
However the fact that the story is metaphorical is already implied by the thread's title and thus that explanation is irrelevant to OP's actual question since your answer to the actual question is made given the fact that it is metaphorical

You're missing the point.
It's possible that Adam and Eve actualy were real, or at least based upon real people who lived during the beginning of the Neolithic Revolution, in one of the earliest agricultural settlements in the area of Mesopotamia. So the answer to the question "If they were real, did they have belly buttons?" is "If they were real, then yes they did because they lived many thousands of years after homo sapiens first appeared" even if God created the first humans.
#23
Quote by SlackerBabbath
Yep, they did, because they were not the first humans.
The Bible depicts Adam and Eve as living around the time of the Neolithic Revolution. (onset of agriculture) James Ussher, the Anglican Archbishop of Armagh, famously worked out when they lived using the biblical chronologies of characters and working backwards to Adam and Eve, which he dates as about 6000 years ago.

That date actualy coincides with the 'Uruk period' which saw the emergence of urban life in Mesopotamia.

When we read the story of Adam and Eve, it seems to involve a lot of agriculture, the growing of fruit in a garden suggests an orchard and the word 'paradise', often associated with the Garden of Eden, is derived from a Persian word used to indicate walled estates.
Adam and Eve's sons Cain and Able were also obviously agricultural, as Cain is depicted as a crop farmer and his younger brother Abel as a shepherd.

And where was the Garden of Eden?
Well Genesis says this;
“And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became four heads. The name of the first is Pishon; that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold; and the gold of that land is good; there is bdellium and the onyx stone. And the name of the second river is Gihon; the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Cush. And the name of the third river is Tigris; that is it which goeth toward the east of Asshur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.”

That places it in Mesopotamia, which actualy means "land between the rivers" and was situated in what is known as modern day Iraq. It also gives us another dating clue, because the Euphrates river system was only formed after the last major glaciation started to end and the glaciers started to melt in the Taurus mountains in Turkey around 12,000 years ago. So obviously if the Garden of Eden can be dated to between 12,000 and 6000 years ago, and considering that the human race has been around for at least 200,000 years and originated in Africa rather than Mesopotamia, then it is obvious that the story is metaphorical rather than factual.


It was my understanding that Adam and Eve where the first humans because god created them. According to which text is this true?
Too Many Religious People And Not Enough Lions
#24
Quote by jeffmetalhead
It was my understanding that Adam and Eve where the first humans because god created them. According to which text is this true?

You're an atheist right? Just like me. So obviously you don't actualy believe that God created the first humans.

This isn't according to any religious text but simply according to known history derived from archeology. We can roughly date the events depicted in the Adam and Eve story from the Book of Genesis because of the clues within that text, so we can catigoricaly say that if these characters really existed, they certainly were not the first humans because we know that humans had been around for many thousands of years before this story is set.
#25
Quote by SlackerBabbath
You're an atheist right? Just like me. So obviously you don't actualy believe that God created the first humans.

This isn't according to any religious text but simply according to known history derived from archeology. We can roughly date the events depicted in the Adam and Eve story from the Book of Genesis because of the clues within that text, so we can catigoricaly say that if these characters really existed, they certainly were not the first humans because we know that humans had been around for many thousands of years before this story is set.


Yes I am definitely an atheist. I was thinking in the mind of theist relating to a religious text and not relating to any scientific fact/evidence of human history.
Too Many Religious People And Not Enough Lions
#26
Quote by jeffmetalhead
Yes I am definitely an atheist. I was thinking in the mind of theist relating to a religious text and not relating to any scientific fact/evidence of human history.


...why?
#27
Quote by SlackerBabbath
Stuff


Way to ruin the fun
Quote by Athabasca
My ex did the same. Cheated on me and then acted like I'd given her sister a facial. Women are retarded.
#29
Quote by denfilade
...why?


Why what?
Why am i an atheist?
I was thinking in the mind of theist relating to a religious text and not relating to any scientific fact/evidence of human history....Was in relation to the orginal question
Too Many Religious People And Not Enough Lions
#31
Quote by Snowman388
Way to ruin the fun

Sorry. But I was only giving a logical answer to the question to the best of my abilities.

Would it be better if I said that Adam did but it was actualy the hole that God removed his rib through?
#32
Quote by SlackerBabbath
Sorry. But I was only giving a logical answer to the question to the best of my abilities.

Would it be better if I said that Adam did but it was actualy the hole that God removed his rib through?


...I dunno, God did have plenty of holes to choose from...
#33
About this rib thing, does that mean that Adam was lopsided? I would think not.
So that leads me to believe that God is a transgender (because of the umbilical cords and Adam having a penis) extra ribbed belly buttonless something that resembles a nearly hairless chimp.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#34
Quote by Victory2134
About this rib thing, does that mean that Adam was lopsided?

If it happened, then yes of course it would. But it's interesting how some people think. Some people actualy assume that men have one less number of ribs than women (infact they have the same number) but that's just ridiculous, if your father had a rib removed before you were born, that wouldn't cause any genetic reason for you to have a rib missing.
#35
No, they wouldn't have had belly buttons.

They had LASERS!!!11
Dear God, do you actually answer prayers?

Yes, but only in a way indistinguishable from random luck or the result of your own efforts.
#37
Quote by SlackerBabbath
*destruction of the bible*

yeah, all you idiots taking the bible literally can pretty much go off and die now.

Also, better Nate than lever.
#38
Quote by CoreysMonster

Also, better Nate than lever.



I actually read the whole thing so that joke was sad.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#40
Quote by Victory2134


I actually read the whole thing so that joke was sad.

while I was reading it, I completely forgot it was supposed to be a joke. I just enjoyed the story.

The ending was really jarring after reading the whole thing, but in retrospect, that joke is fucking brilliant
Page 1 of 2