#1
I don't usually start threads around here, but something has been bothering me lately.

Am I the only one who feels like, despite my best efforts and intentions, people always try to see the worst in me? I have this friend who, despite being completely 100% nice to him, he always tries to find a way to accuse me of something horrible or see the worst in something I've said or done. I love him dearly, and treat him as a good friend, but he always comes up with reasons to give me a hard time about something, an it hurts me.

And it's not just him... it seems like many times, I have such puppies and flowers-dipped-in-honey intentions, and people tend to think I'm being deceptive or have ulterior motives somehow. Even when I explain myself, they tend to think I'm just making excuses or just seem uninterested in my attempts to rectify the situation.

I feel like telling some of them off, but it seems like if I do that, I'm just giving them another reason to give me a hard time.

Am I genuinely doing something wrong or is the world just messed up like that?
#2
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#4
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#7
Stop dipping puppies in honey. That's a real douchebag move man.
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#11
My good intentions and actions go largely ignored and even denied. Truth is, you do need to let them know that their treatment of you is intolerable and hurtful. You can NOT let bevavior like this go ignored. Nice is nice, but don't be a floormat. Your intentions and actions are good, but when you are treated in this manner, let the people in question know. I hope this helps.
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#12
I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood
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#14
Who cares what people think about you. Sounds like your friend needs a solid punch in the mouth to me.
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#15
If you have friends who aren't supportive, why are they friends?
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#16
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The world is fucked. Just be who you are and get rid of people you don't need.


Yeah, but I have a hard time finding new friends...

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I'm just a soul whose intentions are good. Oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood


Yeah. They really got that one right.

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My good intentions and actions go largely ignored and even denied. Truth is, you do need to let them know that their treatment of you is intolerable and hurtful. You can NOT let bevavior like this go ignored. Nice is nice, but don't be a floormat. Your intentions and actions are good, but when you are treated in this manner, let the people in question know. I hope this helps.


Thanks, pal. I understand why some people get a negative response... those are the people that do good things and expect to be rewarded. I don't care about that, I just want to be loved. :-/

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The world is a messed up untrusting place. But maybe the way you are when you're being nice comes across as conniving? Or there's rumours about your huge penis ego going around?


Maybe... but I try to downplay my ego... I don't think I'm really egotistical at all. I'm pretty self-deprecating at times, even if just jokingly.

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If you have friends who aren't supportive, why are they friends?


Because they're all I have.
#17
Maybe you're just trying a bit too hard?

I don't suggest that you act like a twat all the time but perhaps just act like yourself. Be friendly, polite, nice but don't be fake. If you're putting on a front of being super nice then people will see through it. If you just act like you then people might warm to you more.

Thinking about it, the best friendships I have are the ones where I'm not always nice. In fact, the relationships I have where we're both really nice all the time are usually the slightly awkward ones with people I'm not good friends with.
#18
The world is just messed up like that... Sartre said it well... and I beleive it's in someone's sig here on UG: "Hell is other People"
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#19
there there

People are just like that sometimes, even friends. Do you think maybe you're just taking small things too personally? Or are they genuinely having a go at you for no real reason?
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#20
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If you have friends who aren't supportive, why are they friends?

Because they're all I have.

That's an excellent explanation, soo I have a gift for you if you look below.

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#22
Just a little short story of mine, happened to me, it seems pretty similar to your situation..

I always chilled with these two kids. One of them would always bring me down, and I know, even when it's about little things, it still hurts. I always tried real hard to make it clear to him that I was just myself, and that I wouldn't change for him. At the same time, I didn't want to lose him as a friend, because I saw good things in him. But after a while, he started becoming more aggressive, and the things he said were getting more hurtful. Eventually, he ended up betraying me, and got his other friend who was so chill that I never thought would do the same, but out of nowhere, he did.

Nowadays, the kid that got the other friend to betray me with him is friends with me again, he went to rehab recently and changed. his other friend apologized for everything, and I'm good friends with him too.

But what I learned: Even when you don't want them to, and might think it's possible, you can't always absolutely trust everyone, because EVERYONE has potential to change, for good or for worse. So... Don't be like me, and get caught off guard, because it's even worse then. I suggest you talk to them about this, and if they don't budge, start making new friends. It sucks to leave other ones, but if they really are worth being your friends, then eventually they will change and come back to you.

I know that's a shitload that I just typed for a guitar forum, . But really, this did happen to me, and I really don't wish the feeling it gives on anyone else, so that's why I typed all this.

TL;DR Even if you don't want to, leave them for new friends, and if they should be your friends they will come back eventually.
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#23
Serious answer

You probably arent noticing when people do see the good side of you, and they only often bring up the bad parts, Its like people always remembering bad things before good things, its human nature. If people wont accept you for who you are, **** 'em
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#24
its probably because they only keep you around for your tits. you seem horribly annoying. try to not be so whiney, needy, and emotionally unstable.
#25
Some people are just like that. Sorry but you need to grow a thicker skin and not let it get to you.
#26
get new friends or talk to them about it, my friends and i have had this issue a few times with each of us and we just talked it over and were good
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#27
I'm sorry if I sound like an asshole, but you're being a little bitch. Don't take that crap from them, man. I know you're trying to be a good friend to them, but have a little self-respect. You don't need stupid-ass people like that in your life. What good are having friends if every time you're with them they just make you feel like shit? Man up, grow a pair, and tell them to **** off. To be honest, I'd rather be friendless for the rest of my life than have a bunch of pain-in-the-ass friends.
#28
Quote by RMC06
I'm sorry if I sound like an asshole, but you're being a little bitch. Don't take that crap from them, man. I know you're trying to be a good friend to them, but have a little self-respect. You don't need stupid-ass people like that in your life. What good are having friends if every time you're with them they just make you feel like shit? Man up, grow a pair, and tell them to **** off. To be honest, I'd rather be friendless for the rest of my life than have a bunch of pain-in-the-ass friends.


this, don't take shit from people like that, if they treat you like an asshole why are you still their friends, there are alot better people than that out there...