I'm gonna lose myself in this city
drown beneath buildings till concrete crushes me
I'm gonna wander paths in this city
with an inebriating sense of hate eating right at me
I'm gonna walk my way to parts I haven't seen before
To lose myself for a while drop into the void
I'm gonna turn my life to smoke and wisps
Until memories lose their motions, frozen still like this

I'm gonna breathe the air you can't forget
Stagnant, stale and dripping wet, rotting ever breath.
I'm gonna dunk my head and hold the air
Close my eyes till I see spots and I'm no longer there.
I'm gonna start something in this city
Something that, if I try, will always follow me
I'm gonna feed it with blurry lies and falsities
Until it's full and cannot move and can't escape from me.
Thanks, and what I am going to start in the city is a terrible friendship/relationship that is incredibly self abusing and only designed to use the other person until they can't get away.

I do want it to be ambiguous though so I'm glad you didn't really get it haha.